Time Will Tell

“How did it go?” my mom asked me anxiously as I walked through her front door. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there, I tried to get off work, but –”

“I know,” I cut her off. “You’ve apologized a million times, and I’ve told you every single time that it’s fine. And he said not to worry. He said the most Celeste will get is supervised visits every other week, but that depending on the judge it could be as little as a visit once every month.”

She grins and pulls me into a big hug. “Oh, baby that’s great!” she shouts. “Let’s celebrate! You can call Teagan and we’ll all go out to dinner.”

I smile and shake my head. “Teagan is at Wofford and Converse for the open house, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well you must be happy,” she says, grinning at me.

“About what?” I ask, confused. “The Celeste thing? Of course I’m happy.”

“No,” she sighs, rolling her eyes at me like I’m stupid. “You must be happy that Teagan is touring colleges so close. I know you were scared she’d go to an out of state college.”

I run a hand through my hair. I’d been trying not to think about it. “She’s still considering the college in Georgia, and the one in Tennessee, too. Those are both about five hours away. Grace and I would never see her.”

“”Maybe she won’t choose those?” my mom offers.

I groan. “I don’t know. She’s already been accepted to both and they want an answer by the end of the month.”

“What about Wofford and Converse? Oh, and Winthrop, too? Winthrop is only about forty-five minutes away – a half hour if the traffic is good.”

I shrug. “I have no idea. She was leaning towards Newberry last time I heard.”

“Well then don’t worry so much, baby. She has a ton of colleges she can reach within in an hour, which I’m sure her parents are pushing for because out of state colleges are more expensive. Also, Teagan loves you. I know she doesn’t want to leave you and that’s probably a huge part of her decision. And to be honest, if Teagan was going to choose an out of state, I think she’d probably start off somewhere here, and then transfer later, once she has a better grip on your relationship.”

“What does that mean?” I ask, frowning. “A better grip on our relationship?”

“Your relationship with her hasn’t been the easiest, so I’m sure that somewhere in the back of her mind, she’s wondering if you’re really committed and if you two will really work, and I’m not saying that you won’t, I’m just saying everyone has doubts in the beginning. She went from a normal high school senior, to a makeshift mother practically overnight. I mean, can you imagine how she must be feeling? Grace is so dependent on her now. She took to Teagan faster than she took to her own mother. On top of all that Teagan has amnesia!”

I sigh, running my hands through my hair, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. My mom walks over to me and rubs my shoulder.

“Sweetie, you just have to breathe, alright? You have to trust that no matter where Teagan is, and no matter where you are, that the two of you can make things work.”

I nod. “Easier said than done.”

“I know,” she smiles. “But you can do it. I believe in you. And who knows? Maybe she’ll end up going to the same college as you.”

“Yeah, and she’ll get her memory back, too,” I say sarcastically.

She mom groans. This isn’t the first time she’s heard me bitch about the amnesia. “Noah,” she frowns at me. “The doctor said that it’s only temporary. There’s only a slim chance she’ll never remember everything, but she remembers the way she feels about you.”

“She doesn’t say it,” I tell her.

“Say what?”

“She says that she remembers how she feels about me, but she doesn’t say she loves me. She says she loves Grace, and that she cares about me.”

“Caring is good,” my mom responds weakly.

“It isn’t love!” I shout. “Caring is alright, but it’s just a start. Why does she know that she loves Grace, but not me?”

“Have you ever thought that maybe she does love you, and that things between the two of you are just so new to her that she doesn’t know how to say it – that she isn’t confident enough yet to say the words out loud?”

“I’ve thought about it, I guess,” I admit. “But I just miss her, you know?”

She nods. “I know, baby but things will get better, I swear.”

“Sometimes I really don’t think so. Everything that can go wrong does. For once I just want for me and Teagan to have months, or even years or uninterrupted happiness. No bitch trying to steal our baby, no ex-boyfriends trying to get in our way, no amnesia.”

My mom laughs. “Someday you’ll learn. Life is drama.”

I smile grimly and shake my head. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Things fall apart, but sometimes the best times of your life can be putting them back together,” she says, just like you would expect from a mom.

I shake my head. “The only good thing that comes from bad is makeup sex,” I hear myself say. The thought just sort of popped out of my mouth.

She makes a disgusted face at me. “Now is the time you choose to be okay with talking about sex with me?” She shakes her head. “No. No, no, no. I’ll talk about sex in general, but I don’t want to hear my own son brag about how good it was.”

I roll my eyes at her. “That’s not what I was doing.”

She eyes me suspiciously. “Alright…” she says slowly. “So, dinner for three?”