Time Will Tell

“She’s so good with the baby, honey,” my mother says. I knew that she was planning something when she told me I was going to dinner with her and one of her friends, and then she forced me to sit in front of Teagan, and then practically coerced her into babysitting for me.

“Mom, she’s great, she really is, but now isn’t the time.”

“Now isn’t the time?!” she exclaimed. “You haven’t been on a date in two years! You haven’t even looked at a girl!”

“What girl in her right mind wants to start a relationship with a twenty year old guy who already has a child and is struggling through college and work? That’s why I haven’t considered dating.”

“But you said it yourself! She was amazing with Grace –”

“But that doesn’t mean she wants to be with me!” I insist. “She’s good with babies, that doesn’t mean in any way whatsoever that she likes me, and wants to date me. Maybe she just wants to babysit, maybe she likes it. And honestly mom, I don’t have the time for a girlfriend anyway.”

“I think you’re just scared,” she says softly, moving to sit down in her chair.

First she begged me to move back here to be with her so she could help me with the baby, and then she wanted to get me a nanny, and now she’s trying to play cupid.

It’s not that Teagan isn’t my type or anything – actually she’s just my type. She’s gorgeous, and funny, and she’s so smart. We got to talking after she fixed me a sandwich the night she babysat and I found out she’s in all honors classes, she’s in BETA club, and the National Honors Society, but I also learned that she just wants to get away, to do something new and amazing with her life. Listening to her talk I realized how great we could be – if I didn’t have Grace.

Teagan wants new, exciting, and uncharted; she doesn’t want to get hooked on some guy with a baby in the town she’s trying her hardest to get out of.

“Scared of what?” I demand, my jaw locked.

“Well, your last girlfriend didn’t turn out so great. Now you’re out of practice and you’re insecure about how girls will think of you. Teagan might think you’re amazing and you won’t ever know if you don’t try and find out.”

“Teagan wants more than that – she deserves more than that. She’s trying so hard to be something and I’m not going to be the one to hold her back – hell, I don’t even know the girl well enough to be talking about this with you!”

“Honey, she would be great for you. You would be great for her,”

“How so?” I demand. “How would I be great for her?”

“She’s so sad,” my mother explains.

I shake my head and ran a hand through my hair. “Where do you get that from?”

“You can see it in her eyes. She’s sad. You could make her happy. You both have the same sense of humor, you both like babies,” I roll my eyes on that one, “you both work hard, you both deserve happiness.”

“Mom…” I start softly. “Later I will find someone, but it is not the time for me to be trying to find a girlfriend.” Even though I really wish there were a way for Teagan and I to work.

“I just want you to be happy,” she says.

“I am happy.” I tell her. “I have you and Gracie – that’s all I need.”

My mom smiles at me knowingly. “Liar,” she laughs. “I know you’re lonely. You need a life outside of school and baby. You need a little you time to… you know… be you.”

“What if I ask Teagan for coffee?” I ask her. “It would be a one hundred percent friendly gesture, it would get me out of the house for some ‘me time’ and you’d get to spend time with your granddaughter.”

“And you’d get to go on a date for the first time in two years,” my mom adds.

“It’s not a date,” I say, grabbing my keys from the desk and walking to the door. “Bye mom,” I call.

“Have fun on your date!” she yells at me.