Good Love Will Find Me

"John, can you help me with Luke? He's being fussy," Leigh called out.

He came into the living room, excited to take care of Luke. Leigh shot him an odd look. "Where's Natalie?"

"What do you mean where's Natalie?"

"You're usually with her all the time."

His eyebrows furrowed. He hadn't even noticed that. Was he really?

"You are. From the minute you wake up, you call her. I see you do it in the kitchen. Then you go to her house, or she comes here, and you either stay there or go somewhere. John, it happens every day. I'm not blind, and neither is anyone else."

"I never even noticed..."

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying."

"I'm jus' sayin'," repeated Luke.

John would have laughed if he wasn't so deep in thought.

"John!" said Luke, his arms outstretched towards him. John picked him up and Luke immediately wrapped his arms around his neck, resting his head on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna go to work, alright? Take care of him. Call Garrett if you need anything."

John absentmindedly nodded and Leigh just rolled her eyes. She kissed Luke on the cheek before walking out the door.

"Bye momma!" Luke called.

"Bye baby! No TV, you watched too much this morning already."

He could just imagine the pout forming on Luke's lips, a mirror image of Leigh's infamous pout that got Garrett, and pretty much every male on the planet, to do anything she wanted them to.

Once the door closed behind her, Luke giggled. "TV!"

"You heard what momma said, Luke."

"TV! TV! TV, uncle John!" He started to flail his little arms and legs, kicking John in the stomach in the process.

"You're right. She's a party pooper. You can watch TV, Luke."

"I love you, uncle John!"

He just laughed. His nephew was adorable. The remote was in Luke's hands in a matter of a few seconds and the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants played.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

"Spongebob Squarepants!" exclaimed the little three-year-old.

Absorbant and yellow and porous is he!

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

If nautical nonsense be something you wish,

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

"Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob Squarepants, Spongebob, Squarepants!"

As the song got faster, Luke tried harder to follow along and soon, his words became jumbled and he spun his head around in a circular motion, pretending to get dizzy. When the song ended, he fell over and plopped on his side, breathing heavily, faking fatigue.

"That song is fast!" he said to John, as if this was totally new information.

Before John could respond, Luke's eyes were already glued to the television, his mouth open, as if he was hypnotized.

He wondered where Natalie was. They were supposed to hang out today, but she had something to do with Bridget. Bridget needed help at the store, or something, and of course, Natalie offered to help out.

Were they really together all the time like Leigh had said? No. There was no way! Not all the time. Just most of the time. Right?

During a commercial, Luke looked up. "John?"

John snapped out of his trance. "Yeah?"

"Where's Nat Nat?"

"What, Luke?"

"Nat Nat! Where's Nat Nat?"

"Oh, she's with Bridget."

"I wanna see Nat Nat!"

"But Luke, Nat Nat's busy."

"Nat Nat!"

Luke pouted and his lip started to tremble.

Oh shit.

"Nat Nat!"

He was beginning to wail. This was not good. Not at all.

John pulled out his phone and called Natalie. "What is it, John?"

Well, that greeting could have been nicer.

"Luke wants to see you."

"You're not using that as an excuse to see me, are you? I'm busy, you know that."

"No, I'm serious. He's crying and he won't stop."

John held the phone up to Luke, who was still wailing. There were remnants of, "Nat! Nat Nat!"

When John put the phone back to his ear, Natalie was saying, "Oh Jesus. Um, how about you come here? I can't leave; Bridget's out on an errand."

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you in a little bit."

She hung up and John wanted to cry right along with Luke. He wanted to cry tears of joy. He hadn't realized how much he had wanted to see Natalie.

"Come on, Luke. We're gonna go see Nat Nat!"

His wailing reduced to a whimper. "Nat?"

John turned off the TV and scooped him up into his arms. The baby bounced up and down, excited to see Natalie.

He didn't really know when Natalie and Luke had formed such a connection, but it was obvious that Natalie loved kids, especially toddlers like Luke.

If John and Natalie weren't in his room, they were in the living room with Luke, watching TV or playing with whatever toy was the craze of the day. Natalie was never a bitch to Luke.

Was he really becoming jealous of a three-year-old baby?

Oh god.


"Luke!" exclaimed his girlfriend.

Well, technically, she wasn't his girlfriend. But what was she? A fuck buddy? Not exactly. A friend with benefits? They were more than friends. They weren't exactly Leigh and Garrett. So what were they? He made a mental note to ask her about it the next time they were alone.

She bent down and held her arms out, which Luke ran straight into.

Natalie never did that for John. His lower lip stuck out without his realizing it. Natalie chuckled and said, "What's wrong, John? I didn't realize there were two babies in the room. Is baby John sad?" she cooed in a mocking tone.

Luke giggled. "Uncle John is a baby."

"No," he huffed indignantly, and stomped off to look for the David Bowie albums. He was browsing through them when he realized Pioneer was playing in the store.

"Hey, this is our song."

"What? Oh, yeah. I can't stop listening to it, and Bridget said I could put on whatever I wanted. It's really good, John."

He smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

Luke ran over to him, screaming, "Uncle John! Uncle John! I know this song!"

He picked Luke up and Luke sang, "Don't you dare, don't you ever give up on us my dear," and looked up at John in confusion. "Why are you singing to a deer, Johnny?"

He laughed at Luke's misinterpretation of the word dear. "Because deers are my favorite animals!"

"I thought you liked giraffes..."

"No, Luke, I am a giraffe. But deers are my favorite."

Natalie spoke up. "The plural of deer is still deer, John. Idiot."

"Ooh, Nat Nat got you," teased Luke.

"Okay, Ms. Know It All. Luke, my favorite animals are deer."

He set Luke down on the ground and kept looking for CDs. From across the store, he could hear Natalie's conversation with the baby.

"Nat Nat, do you love Uncle John?"

"Do you love John, Luke Ryan?"

"I love Johnny, but do you? Cause, momma said you guys make those weird noises in Johnny's room because you're wrestling, and she said when people love each other, they wrestle. You guys wrestle a lot. So, that means you love each other, right?"

If the he wasn't dying to hear the answer to the question, John would have burst out laughing. Wrestling? Leigh told Luke that sex was wrestling?

Ha!

But Natalie just smiled at Luke and then the door opened, letting in two customers that she greeted, and they came up and asked her a question about whether she had gotten a new shipment of the Nickelback CDs.

He knew she wanted to say, "No, we haven't gotten the new shipment. Who listens to Nickelback anyway?" But her smile just got tighter as she shook her head, apologizing, telling them that maybe they could try Target.

He wanted the answer to Luke's question and he was determined to get it.


"Hey, Jared, do you think Natalie loves me? Or at least likes me?"

Jared turned to him, looking at him like he was a complete and utter idiot.

He felt like one.

"I think if someone is willing to spend all day and every day with you, they feel something for you. And it's not hatred, nor is it dislike. Hell, I don't even love you enough to hang out with you all day."

"Do we really spend all day with each other? Jeez. We do not."

"You do. Who else has pointed out the obvious to you?"

"Leigh said it to me this morning."

"Leigh's right. See, not for the first time in your life, Leigh is smarter than you. I think you should listen to your baby sister, dumbass."

"We don't spend all day with each other! I'm with you right now, aren't I?" exclaimed John as he looked around Jared's backyard, where they sat in lawn chairs, each nursing a can of beer with Wonderwall playing in the background.

"Yeah, for the first time in like, a month, not counting band practice. I bet you're texting her right now. And in five minutes, you were going to go to the bathroom to call her."

John scoffed. "Actually, I was going to go to the kitchen to call her. The bathroom echoes."

Jared threw his head back and laughed. "I can't believe you! You're in love with her."

"No, I'm not. No getting attached, remember?"

"No getting attached my ass. You are devoted to this girl."

"So what?"

"So what, John? So, you're going to get hurt. She likes you, I mean, that's a given, but it's not like she's committed. She can leave any second, John. She doesn't live here, remember?"

"Yeah. You're right."

"Be careful. And there's...you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"Don't forget about that. It's gonna come back to bite you in the ass sooner or later if you forget."

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten."

He had.

"Whatever you say, John, whatever you say."