Massie Massacre VS The Stupid World
I have 923 friends on MySpace, what have YOU accomplished?
I guess before I tell you my story, I should tell you more about myself. My name’s Massie, Massie Massacre. Don’t ask me what my real name is, because if I tell you, and you dare tell anyone else, I swear I’ll bash your face in. So, for the ensured safety of your face and my fist, I’m not going to tell you. In case you haven’t already figured this out, I’m a legit scene queen. Before you shrug me off as some loser, poser scene queen, let me explain to you why I’m a real scene queen. It takes a lot of time and dedication to be a scene queen. I had to dye my hair fuchsia pink a few weeks ago just so I could keep up my hardcore status.
Every morning I have to get up at 6:30 just so I can have enough time to do my hair. First I have to comb out all the knots, then once my hair is nice and smooth, I tease it to the appropriate height and lastly, choose the right extensions and hair bow for the day. That’s another thing you need to do to be a good scene queen, have plenty of extensions and hair bows. I think I have almost fifty different extensions and coontails and over a hundred hair bows, of various sizes and colors of course. To look good, you’ve got to play it up, be original. I knew this one girl in eighth grade who would wear the same blue and pink coontails everyday. She was a total poser. Now I on the other hand, refuse to wear the same pair of extensions twice in one week. That’s like…against the laws of nature. People who commit that kind of sin should be eaten by dinosaurs, like, seriously.
Anyway, it’s crucial that after my hair is teased to perfection that I apply my black eyeliner. The more eyeliner, the better, trust me. Of course, on those special days when my hair and makeup come out extra scenealisciously perfect, I have to take plenty of pictures with my pink Domo doll and my collection of Skelanimals to put up on my blog.
Now, don’t think I came up with whole method for scene fame on my own. I was taught by the best of the best. Since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll tell you where to find these Gods of wisdom. MySpace. What? You think MySpace is stupid? Well fudge you, it’s awesome! You’re probably just salty because no one wanted be your friend on MySpace, so you moved to Facebook so you could feel better about yourself, right? Oh dear, did I hurt your feelings. Too bad, I don’t care. I have 923 friends on MySpace, what have YOU accomplished?
What was I talking about…oh, right! The Gods of MySpace. I joined MySpace when I was in sixth grade. Ugh, I hate thinking back to those days. I was such a poser, it’s embarrassing really. But then I met Nikki Nicotine on MySpace, a scene queen legend. I pretty much worshipped her for a month, commented on all of her pictures and read every single one of the bulletins she posted. Finally, after one month of hard work fangirling over her, she decided to actually acknowledge my existence. She taught me all the tricks and tips to being the ultimate scene queen, and as you can obviously see, it worked.
Other then the fact that I’m a pretty popular scene queen, there’s not much you need to know about me. I love screamo music. My favorite band is Devil Wears Prada. My favorite colors are black and pink. I’m random.
SKITTLES.
Ha, see. Yeah, I’m weird, deal with it. I hate preps. Ugh; they are the most annoying things on this planet, other then eyeliner that isn’t waterproof. I’m not even going to get into how much I hate this one prep, Holly Parker, because our mutual hatred for each other doesn’t come into play until much later in my story. Well, I’d better start at the beginning of my story, which is my arranged marriage to my best friend’s ex-boyfriend. The perfect pathetic start to my pathetic story.
Every morning I have to get up at 6:30 just so I can have enough time to do my hair. First I have to comb out all the knots, then once my hair is nice and smooth, I tease it to the appropriate height and lastly, choose the right extensions and hair bow for the day. That’s another thing you need to do to be a good scene queen, have plenty of extensions and hair bows. I think I have almost fifty different extensions and coontails and over a hundred hair bows, of various sizes and colors of course. To look good, you’ve got to play it up, be original. I knew this one girl in eighth grade who would wear the same blue and pink coontails everyday. She was a total poser. Now I on the other hand, refuse to wear the same pair of extensions twice in one week. That’s like…against the laws of nature. People who commit that kind of sin should be eaten by dinosaurs, like, seriously.
Anyway, it’s crucial that after my hair is teased to perfection that I apply my black eyeliner. The more eyeliner, the better, trust me. Of course, on those special days when my hair and makeup come out extra scenealisciously perfect, I have to take plenty of pictures with my pink Domo doll and my collection of Skelanimals to put up on my blog.
Now, don’t think I came up with whole method for scene fame on my own. I was taught by the best of the best. Since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll tell you where to find these Gods of wisdom. MySpace. What? You think MySpace is stupid? Well fudge you, it’s awesome! You’re probably just salty because no one wanted be your friend on MySpace, so you moved to Facebook so you could feel better about yourself, right? Oh dear, did I hurt your feelings. Too bad, I don’t care. I have 923 friends on MySpace, what have YOU accomplished?
What was I talking about…oh, right! The Gods of MySpace. I joined MySpace when I was in sixth grade. Ugh, I hate thinking back to those days. I was such a poser, it’s embarrassing really. But then I met Nikki Nicotine on MySpace, a scene queen legend. I pretty much worshipped her for a month, commented on all of her pictures and read every single one of the bulletins she posted. Finally, after one month of hard work fangirling over her, she decided to actually acknowledge my existence. She taught me all the tricks and tips to being the ultimate scene queen, and as you can obviously see, it worked.
Other then the fact that I’m a pretty popular scene queen, there’s not much you need to know about me. I love screamo music. My favorite band is Devil Wears Prada. My favorite colors are black and pink. I’m random.
SKITTLES.
Ha, see. Yeah, I’m weird, deal with it. I hate preps. Ugh; they are the most annoying things on this planet, other then eyeliner that isn’t waterproof. I’m not even going to get into how much I hate this one prep, Holly Parker, because our mutual hatred for each other doesn’t come into play until much later in my story. Well, I’d better start at the beginning of my story, which is my arranged marriage to my best friend’s ex-boyfriend. The perfect pathetic start to my pathetic story.
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I pretty much based this entire chapter off of the mindset I had when I was in the seventh grade and thought I was 'hardcore scene'. Those were dark times, very dark times.I thought I'd share with you this lovely drawing I did today of Massie, and also this banner I made for the story today as well. Thank you to everyone whose subscibed/commented so far, Massie loves to be loved <3
And to the few who asked, the girl I'm using to portray Massie is Lexi Lush, because I really like the color of her hair (:
P.S I highly recommend listening to the theme song posted on the summary page, I think it pretty much matches Massie perfectly.