My Heart Like A Kick Drum
Four/Final.
Zack feels just like his apartment: empty. Everything has been moved, and the things he deemed unnecessary were given to Good Will. It should have made him feel good to give away his possessions to people who need them more than him, but it doesn’t. He misses his coffee table, his bed frame, his lamp… everything. This is a huge change, and it’s left an open wound inside of Zack’s chest, and it’s beginning to fester.
“I think that’s about everything…” Mutters Rian, who just handed off a couple of books (all on the lighter side) to Molly to bring to their apartment. She wants to feel involved in the process, so Zack and Rian have been giving her small things to carry over to Rian’s apartment, while they handle the larger items. “How’re you feeling?”
“I don’t know,” replies Zack. He feels Rian come up from behind him, taking Zack’s hand in his own. They’ve been together for six months now, and Rian knew this wouldn’t be easy for Zack. While Zack still struggles to learn all of Rian’s habits, Rian can read Zack like an open book – a testament to the impossibly strong feelings for Zack he’s developed over the past months.
“I know this is hard for you,” whispers Rian, pulling Zack into his arms. “But we’re going to be so happy together, the three of us. Like a real family.” Zack swallows and nods, because gosh, does that sound nice.
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Zack’s never had to watch Molly on his own before. He’s been living with Rian and Molly in their apartment for about six weeks, but he’s never had to take care of her for the night. Really, it shouldn’t be that hard. A couple of weeks ago Rian was sick, and ended up going to bed at about 6:00, so Zack was in charge of making her dinner, giving her a bath, and putting her to bed. And while it was easy enough, Rian was just in the other room. This time, Rian is going to be across the city.
“You’re going to be fine,” Rian tells him over the phone that night. “The more you worry, the more upset she’ll get that I’m not going to be able to tuck her in.” And that’s what scares Zack, because Molly and Rian have this little bedtime ritual. As cute as it is, Zack still hasn’t found his place in it yet.
“Alright, c’mon you,” Zack says a couple of hours after speaking to Rian on the phone. Molly’s had dinner and taken a bath, and as the clock approaches 8:30 Zack begins to get more and more anxious. Molly looks up at him from the sofa, where she’s been watching a prerecorded episode of “Dora the Explorer.”
“Bed time?” Molly asks, and Zack nods, lifting her up and resting her on his side.
“Uh hu, time to go to bed.”
“Aw,” Molly whines. “But I’m not sleepy!” Zack chuckles as he walks her into her bedroom, the one right next to the room he shares with Rian.
“Yeah, but if you don’t go to bed now, you’re gonna be exhausted tomorrow morning. And that’s not fun, right?” Zack asks, removing the girl from his waist so she can crawl on to her bed. Molly doesn’t respond, instead easily pulls back her covers and grabs her favorite teddy bear.
“Story?” She asks softly, and Zack nods. He reaches over to her bedside table and finds the book Rian reads to her every night. Usually, it would be Rian lying next to her, and Zack would be sitting awkwardly at the foot of the bed just watching. He’s careful to read slowly and allow ample time for Molly to look at the pictures (though he’s lost count over how many times Rian’s read the same book to her), as well as trying to get just the right voices and inflections as Rian. Overall, it seems as though he’s doing a pretty good job.
When Zack closes the book, Molly can barely keep her eyes open. He leans over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table, but instead of getting up like Rian usually does, he rolls over on his side so he can get a better look at the little girl. She’s clutching her bear tight, and she’s lying close enough to Zack that the tip of her nose is just touching his chest. “What time is Daddy coming home?” She asks, her voice muffled with sleep.
“Later,” whispers Zack. “He’ll come in and check on you, but you’ll be asleep.”
He’s not sure if Molly registers what he says, so instead he leans down to kiss her forehead gently, before removing himself from her bed. “Love you, Zack,” she mumbles, and though Zack could barely hear her, it was loud enough to understand.
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It’s a Saturday morning, and that means everyone gets to sleep in. Rian doesn’t have work, Zack doesn’t have classes, and Molly doesn’t have to go to preschool. Zack can feel the light seeping in through the closed blinds, even though he’s wrapped under covers and held in between Rian’s arms.
He blinks a couple of times, allowing his eyes to become readjusted. Rian is still out cold, his breathing slow and steady. For a while, Zack just lies there. Warm and content, his mind moves slowly and without stress. He’s not sure how long it takes, but eventually Rian starts to stir. “You don’t have to get up yet, if you don’t want,” says Zack, resting his hand on Rian’s stomach.
“Is Molly awake?” Rian asks, his voice groggy. Though his eyes are barely open, he still looks at Zack as though he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen – which confuses Zack, seeing as it can’t be later than 9:00 in the morning, and Zack has yet to shower or brush his teeth.
“I don’t think so,” responds Zack. “I haven’t heard –“
“Daddy?” A small voice asks, and Zack realizes he spoke too soon. “Zack?”
“Hey, baby girl,” Rian says, sitting up in bed. Molly’s standing in their doorway, her stuffed bear held tightly to her chest and her blanket dragging on the floor.
“It’s cold,” says Molly, taking a step inside their bedroom.
“Yeah, I opened your window last night because it was so stuffy inside your room,” confides Rian, and Zack chuckles.
“You wanna come lie in bed with us?” Offers Zack, and Molly doesn’t have to be asked twice – immediately she’s running to their bed, crawling up to where Zack and Rian are lying, and making herself comfortable between the two of them.
It’s hard for Zack to believe that a half a year ago, these were two people whom he wanted nothing to do with. Now, they’re his world, his universe, his everything. He watches as Rian kisses Molly’s forehead, before he leans over to gently kiss Zack, and he truly understands why.
“I think that’s about everything…” Mutters Rian, who just handed off a couple of books (all on the lighter side) to Molly to bring to their apartment. She wants to feel involved in the process, so Zack and Rian have been giving her small things to carry over to Rian’s apartment, while they handle the larger items. “How’re you feeling?”
“I don’t know,” replies Zack. He feels Rian come up from behind him, taking Zack’s hand in his own. They’ve been together for six months now, and Rian knew this wouldn’t be easy for Zack. While Zack still struggles to learn all of Rian’s habits, Rian can read Zack like an open book – a testament to the impossibly strong feelings for Zack he’s developed over the past months.
“I know this is hard for you,” whispers Rian, pulling Zack into his arms. “But we’re going to be so happy together, the three of us. Like a real family.” Zack swallows and nods, because gosh, does that sound nice.
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Zack’s never had to watch Molly on his own before. He’s been living with Rian and Molly in their apartment for about six weeks, but he’s never had to take care of her for the night. Really, it shouldn’t be that hard. A couple of weeks ago Rian was sick, and ended up going to bed at about 6:00, so Zack was in charge of making her dinner, giving her a bath, and putting her to bed. And while it was easy enough, Rian was just in the other room. This time, Rian is going to be across the city.
“You’re going to be fine,” Rian tells him over the phone that night. “The more you worry, the more upset she’ll get that I’m not going to be able to tuck her in.” And that’s what scares Zack, because Molly and Rian have this little bedtime ritual. As cute as it is, Zack still hasn’t found his place in it yet.
“Alright, c’mon you,” Zack says a couple of hours after speaking to Rian on the phone. Molly’s had dinner and taken a bath, and as the clock approaches 8:30 Zack begins to get more and more anxious. Molly looks up at him from the sofa, where she’s been watching a prerecorded episode of “Dora the Explorer.”
“Bed time?” Molly asks, and Zack nods, lifting her up and resting her on his side.
“Uh hu, time to go to bed.”
“Aw,” Molly whines. “But I’m not sleepy!” Zack chuckles as he walks her into her bedroom, the one right next to the room he shares with Rian.
“Yeah, but if you don’t go to bed now, you’re gonna be exhausted tomorrow morning. And that’s not fun, right?” Zack asks, removing the girl from his waist so she can crawl on to her bed. Molly doesn’t respond, instead easily pulls back her covers and grabs her favorite teddy bear.
“Story?” She asks softly, and Zack nods. He reaches over to her bedside table and finds the book Rian reads to her every night. Usually, it would be Rian lying next to her, and Zack would be sitting awkwardly at the foot of the bed just watching. He’s careful to read slowly and allow ample time for Molly to look at the pictures (though he’s lost count over how many times Rian’s read the same book to her), as well as trying to get just the right voices and inflections as Rian. Overall, it seems as though he’s doing a pretty good job.
When Zack closes the book, Molly can barely keep her eyes open. He leans over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table, but instead of getting up like Rian usually does, he rolls over on his side so he can get a better look at the little girl. She’s clutching her bear tight, and she’s lying close enough to Zack that the tip of her nose is just touching his chest. “What time is Daddy coming home?” She asks, her voice muffled with sleep.
“Later,” whispers Zack. “He’ll come in and check on you, but you’ll be asleep.”
He’s not sure if Molly registers what he says, so instead he leans down to kiss her forehead gently, before removing himself from her bed. “Love you, Zack,” she mumbles, and though Zack could barely hear her, it was loud enough to understand.
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It’s a Saturday morning, and that means everyone gets to sleep in. Rian doesn’t have work, Zack doesn’t have classes, and Molly doesn’t have to go to preschool. Zack can feel the light seeping in through the closed blinds, even though he’s wrapped under covers and held in between Rian’s arms.
He blinks a couple of times, allowing his eyes to become readjusted. Rian is still out cold, his breathing slow and steady. For a while, Zack just lies there. Warm and content, his mind moves slowly and without stress. He’s not sure how long it takes, but eventually Rian starts to stir. “You don’t have to get up yet, if you don’t want,” says Zack, resting his hand on Rian’s stomach.
“Is Molly awake?” Rian asks, his voice groggy. Though his eyes are barely open, he still looks at Zack as though he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen – which confuses Zack, seeing as it can’t be later than 9:00 in the morning, and Zack has yet to shower or brush his teeth.
“I don’t think so,” responds Zack. “I haven’t heard –“
“Daddy?” A small voice asks, and Zack realizes he spoke too soon. “Zack?”
“Hey, baby girl,” Rian says, sitting up in bed. Molly’s standing in their doorway, her stuffed bear held tightly to her chest and her blanket dragging on the floor.
“It’s cold,” says Molly, taking a step inside their bedroom.
“Yeah, I opened your window last night because it was so stuffy inside your room,” confides Rian, and Zack chuckles.
“You wanna come lie in bed with us?” Offers Zack, and Molly doesn’t have to be asked twice – immediately she’s running to their bed, crawling up to where Zack and Rian are lying, and making herself comfortable between the two of them.
It’s hard for Zack to believe that a half a year ago, these were two people whom he wanted nothing to do with. Now, they’re his world, his universe, his everything. He watches as Rian kisses Molly’s forehead, before he leans over to gently kiss Zack, and he truly understands why.
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I hope you enjoyed it!