Status: Actie
If You Really Knew Me
Intrudcing Barbarous
If you really knew me, you would know that I'm really good at hiding my feelings.
If you really knew me, you would know that I laugh to keep myself from crying.
If you really knew me, you would know that I've never been happy for 5 and a half years.
When I was 10, my dad got diagnosed with cancer, he survived though. And I also found My Chemical Romance.
When I was 11, I found out that my grandpa commit suicide, I got bullied and changed school. And I became depressed. I thought about self harm.
When I was 12, I didn't feel a thing, I can't even remember a thing, I was completely numb. Well, I remember one thing. I met a girl at a party or something for 12 year olds, we started to talk and became friends. We would have sleep overs like normal people.
When I was 13, I started to hurt myself, cutting, not deep though and you can't see the scars. I showed my mom and she said that I needed to talk to someone, so I talked to the nurse at my school. The girl I met at the party, when I was 12, saw my cuts and the same evening that I had told my mom about it, I got a text message from her, saying; 'I don't think we should see each other anymore.' And that made me lose trust in people. I only told the nurse what she wanted to hear. The same year, my step grandpa got diagnosed with brain cancer. The thoughts about suicide came the same year, but every time wanted to do it, My Chemical Romance saved me, in some sort of weird way...
When I was 14, I started to cut again, deeper, scars still remain.
Now, when I'm 15, I''m still depressed, my parents separated a few week ago. And my step grandpa didn't win against the cancer. He died Tuesday 8th november. Everybody always ask if I'm okay, and as always, I only tell them what they want to hear... And the suicidal thoughts are back.
If you really knew me, you would know that I'm a fulltime liar.
If you really knew me, you would know that I laugh to keep myself from crying.
If you really knew me, you would know that I've never been happy for 5 and a half years.
When I was 10, my dad got diagnosed with cancer, he survived though. And I also found My Chemical Romance.
When I was 11, I found out that my grandpa commit suicide, I got bullied and changed school. And I became depressed. I thought about self harm.
When I was 12, I didn't feel a thing, I can't even remember a thing, I was completely numb. Well, I remember one thing. I met a girl at a party or something for 12 year olds, we started to talk and became friends. We would have sleep overs like normal people.
When I was 13, I started to hurt myself, cutting, not deep though and you can't see the scars. I showed my mom and she said that I needed to talk to someone, so I talked to the nurse at my school. The girl I met at the party, when I was 12, saw my cuts and the same evening that I had told my mom about it, I got a text message from her, saying; 'I don't think we should see each other anymore.' And that made me lose trust in people. I only told the nurse what she wanted to hear. The same year, my step grandpa got diagnosed with brain cancer. The thoughts about suicide came the same year, but every time wanted to do it, My Chemical Romance saved me, in some sort of weird way...
When I was 14, I started to cut again, deeper, scars still remain.
Now, when I'm 15, I''m still depressed, my parents separated a few week ago. And my step grandpa didn't win against the cancer. He died Tuesday 8th november. Everybody always ask if I'm okay, and as always, I only tell them what they want to hear... And the suicidal thoughts are back.
If you really knew me, you would know that I'm a fulltime liar.
♠ ♠ ♠
Awww I'm so sorry about your loss =[!my grandma died of caner, so i may not know exactly how u feel but i do have an undestanding of the pain.
I use to be a cutter as well...but i had stopped, so i believe you can do so too.
and i know how it feels to laugh, and, smile when all you really want to do is cry
I had also lost trust in peopl when i also was going through the cutting phase.
but you will find someone you trust, and someone who makes you better.
good luck and best of wishe.
Also, if you feel for the people who are in the chaptes
just put a <3
in the comments.
=)!