I'm Losing the Best of Me.

Can you imagine it, a world without All Time Low? What if it was just over so quickly that they got forgotten in an instant?

That’s what happened, they were long forgotten when Alex got engaged to his girlfriend, everything crashed down. The band split into two pieces, Jack Barakat had been the first to leave when his best friend came in saying ‘Lisa and I are getting married’ Jack had left on the same day.

Then Rian had left, he had never liked Alex with Lisa so he did what Jack did. He picked up his bags and cleared out their apartment of all his stuff before going to live with Jack in a apartment in LA- both holding each other when they remembered Alex.

Then it was Zack, Zack had never really stated his opinion on Alex and Lisa but he didn’t like how he being so thoughtless had split the band. So he too went and lived with Rian and Jack- in doing so, they all broke off contact with their ex-best friend.

Matt had gone with Alex though; he had wanted all of the boys to be happy whilst they were together. He thought it had been unfair for them to leave Alex when they should be so happy for their best friend who was getting married in a year’s time. So he had left to go back to England with Alex and Lisa.

It had all gone wrong.

Alex was left how he hadn’t wanted to be left. He had thought that his three best friends would be excited for him to marry the girl he loved; he hadn’t been expecting that down fall as soon as he told them.

He had wanted Jack to be his best man.
He had wanted Rian to be the second best man.
He had wanted Zack to be the third best man.

It hadn’t happened- Vinny had been in the end, it hadn’t been right. Not without Jack sitting there with a witty smirk on his face.

If you asked how they all were a small fake smile would always fill their faces ‘I’m great’ was the easiest lie for them, it didn’t bring back memories and it was easy. So God damn easy. Though they weren’t, none of them satisfied with how their lives had turned around in such a short amount of time because of one thing their supposed best friend did to them.

Jack was a top notch Lawyer.

Rian was a film director and editor.

Zack owned a huge music franchise.

Perfect.

Alex was a teacher in a failing school.

Matt was the giant Mickey Mouse at Disney Land.

Vinny worked at a gay club.

Not so perfect.

But if you knew their home lives you would think different of all six, how they really are behind the scenes. Sit down and take a seat while we dive into Jack Barakat’s home life.
-

“Where is it…” he mumbled to himself, hands searching frantically in his small bathroom, looking for it.

His hands turned over the plaster boxes in the little bathroom cupboard, he was getting annoyed, he needed it now and it wasn’t where he had left it. Had someone figured it out? Someone figured out his dirty little secret?

“Finally,” he sighed in relief as he looked to the little metal blade that he twirled in his fingers letting it catch onto the light. “I missed you,” he mumbled before raising the metal and slicing over his forearm with a sickening smile to his face.

His eyes watched as the thin layers of skin broke under the pressure of the metal blade; blood started silently beading at the cut before it slid into a straight line. His fingers shook a little as the blade went again, up his already scarred forearms.

He only had about six cuts. The last one he sliced today was his sixth. And every single one had a story behind it- why it was there in the first place, he didn’t cut mindlessly nor did he cut just for the hell of it. He only ever cut for reasons… Like, well, like Alex.
-

Not what you expect for a top notch Lawyer, one that is perfectly well off and living with his two best friends in an apartment in the rich part of LA. He should be fucking happy and well, having fun with his life. It had been six years after all. A 29 year old should be getting drunk, not cutting.

Now, Rian has it pretty good too. Getting the chance to direct such films as The Crazies 2 and Bang! You’re dead. But then again, we thought Jack had it good- what could be wrong with Rian Dawson? The smiler the mummy of the group.

Well, let’s see.
-
“Come on, Ri, give me a puff!” yelled his friend Caleb who was making grabby hands towards the joint that sat in Rian’s mouth. “You’re being selfish now, douche bag…”

Rian reluctantly pulled the weed from his mouth letting his lips part slightly to blow out the smoke before he passed the joint to his friend Caleb Turman who had first introduced him to the glorious device to make him forget everything and get onto a high note.

“Mm, feels so fucking good,” Caleb moaned as he sucked in the smoke before blowing it out of his nose with a small sideways smirk towards Rian. “You were just being a selfish asshole.”

Rian shrugged his shoulders and sent a grin towards his friend as he laid back down on the floor letting out a sigh, “True that.”
-
Oh God how wrong we were. Rian Dawson a stoner? Never saw that one coming, not after you think he’s the one who does the comforting not needing the comforting from a joint of weed. Shocking really.

Zack Merrick next, get ready.
-
“Darrrlinnnggg, get me… me… get me another… Corona… now…” Zack moaned into his palm as his eyes settled on the woman behind the bar who was sorting out his beer. “Hurry up-p…” he groaned desperately grabbing the beer from the hands of the woman.

God, he loved those beers; how they burned down his throat in the most satisfying way possible, how they blocked out every thought he wished to block out. Like Alex.
-

Oh come on, did you not expect Zack to be constantly wasted? Did you expect him to be fucking perfect while the other two were slowly killing themselves without even trying to stop? No, Zack is just as worse and yet again all three of them blame it on darling Alexander Gaskarth.

All his fucking fault that he chose to get married.

All his fucking fault that he is happy.

All his fucking fault that they’re not.

All his fucking fault that they’re like this.

But little did they know, Alex was just as bad as they were.

But that, is a story for later.
I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now
I heard that your dreams came true
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.