Status: Active :D
I'm Losing the Best of Me.
chapter 7
The moans keep escaping from under the door of Jack’s room and Zack ends up excusing himself to the bathroom to sort out the awkward boner that was pressing against his tight jeans. The two left sipped quietly at their hot chocolates whilst trying to ignore the groans; moans; pants.
“What did you want, anyway, Alex?” Rian asks, lips sipping at the hot drink which had some marshmallows floating at the top which hit his lips with the pink goo that had melted from them.
Alex fidgets a little on his chair as he puts his mug onto the work top; brown eyes look to his old friend with a frown on his face, “everything is screwed up, Ri, all of our lives and fucking fucked up!” he exclaims with big hand gestures; eyes wide at the younger.
Rian frowns at this- what does he mean? Well, Rian knows what he means but he didn’t know anyone but Jack, Caleb and he knew about the weed that he smokes on a daily basis. He plays it dumb: “What do you mean?”
Alex groans in frustration; he knew Rian knew what he was getting at- why was he playing stupid? But he just continues with it because honestly, Rian was asking for any amount of patronising that was about to hit him. “You smoke pot on a daily basis; Zack’s an alcoholic!”
“But there’s nothing wrong with Jack!” Rian argues back, eyebrows creasing together because this time, he wasn’t playing dumb. There was nothing wrong with the youngest of them… he was fine, right?
Alex scoffs and shakes his head a little, hand pushing through his purple-red coloured locks before he locks eyes with Rian, “he’s the worst, Rian… he’s a self harmer- he has sliced up arms!” Alex all but yells at Rian, because how had he not noticed anything?
Rian freezes on the spot and shakily sits down on the chair; he hadn’t anticipated that. He puts his faces into his hands and his shoulders start to shake as sobs rack through his body, he couldn’t help it- he didn’t want to lose Jack.
-
Nothing more than a blow job had happened, Chris was just fucking vocal at anything- Jack supposed that’s what happens when you give a singer head (or any means of sexual contact) they will be fucking loud not that he was complaining- it’s a turn on.
Chris was now cuddled into Jack’s bare chest; nose tucked into the curve of Jack’s neck as he slept quietly with a small smile on his slightly red lips, which were set into the most adorable pout Jack had seen in a while.
And just as Jack is about to forget about all the shit that is happening and cuddle up to his gorgeous best friend he hears what he doesn’t want to hear; it’s hell to his ears when his old best friend fucking yells:
“He’s the worst, Rian… he’s a self harmer- he has sliced up arms!”
And Jack had almost forgotten about his abstract art; almost forgotten about the little piece of metal that was stashed away in the bathroom just down the hall from his bedroom… but that yell of him stabs him and he’s frowning; dark eyes glancing down to his slashed wrists with a tear rolling down his cheek.
Jack gently removes Chris’ arms from around his waist and wraps them around one of his pillows instead. He’s standing soon and sliding into a pair of black sweats that were discarded to the floor; then a big blue jumper that belonged to Chris but had been too big for him.
His feet pad on the carpet as he walks to the kitchen and leans on the door frame; he watches the scene unfold in front of him and he fucking hates it. It’s too similar, he guesses. He’s seen Alex comforting so many crying people before that this just brings back sour memories that he would rather forget.
“Had fun talking about me?” he sneers from the door, lips curling around his teeth in a snarl as he looks towards the messy haired man and the one he had lived with for six years.
“Finally stopped fucking, huh?” Alex growls, hand rubbing circles on Rian’s back in a comforting way (Jack wasn’t sure why Rian needed to be comforted though).
Jack laughs bitterly at the snide comment and runs a hand through his ebony hair; “Blatantly,” he says with an eye roll, feet taking him to the sink where he pours himself a glass of water.
Alex is on him in a second; snide face in front of Jacks as he throws questions towards the half asleep male that just wanted to go cuddle with Chris in his warm, cosy bed right now… damn, that was his idea of heaven right now.
Flash Back
Jack stumbles into the tour bus; it’s not a pretty sight as his feet stumble over each other- hands are clumsy as he reaches for a bottle of water in the ‘fridge’ which happened to be the oven. Alex can’t help but snort in laughter as he watched from his book.
“What are you laughing at, Alexander?” purrs the younger of the two as he flops next to the elder; flipping his legs over Alex’s thighs.
Alex had almost forgotten about how smart Jack always sounded when he got wasted and he snorts in laughter again (much to Jack’s annoyance). “You.”
“And why would you be laughing at me, Alexander?” persists the younger as he leans forwards on his elbows to get a better look at Alex who has his eyebrow cocked at him in humour.
“Cos you’re a fucking freak.”
Jack rolls his eyes; “A freak I am not, whomever is a freak to you, is probably normal on this earth!” retorts Jack with a smirk, forehead resting against Alex’s shoulder as he looks up to him waiting for the reply of the elder.
“Oh, dear, Jackary…” Alex mumbles with a shake of his head; hands finding his waist as he picks him up to take him to his bunk.
“You’re not going to rape me, art thou?” Jack slurs drunkly as he buries his head deep into the nape of Alex’s neck; voice and giggles vibrating against his neck in such a fucking good way, Alex felt himself get a tad excited.
“Maybe, but if I told you, it would ruin the surprise!” Alex exclaims with a laugh as he puts Jack down into his bunk with a fond eye roll when Jack starts to giggle a little.
Jack snuggles more into Alex’s chest; a big grin spread on his face as he tangles their legs together fondly because he was so drunk he didn’t know what was happening- but all he knew was that Alex was comfy and very cuddly; snugly; and comfortable.
“I love you, Alexander… you’re extremely comfortable too, young Alexander,” Jack giggles into his chest; big smile on his face as his fingers stroke over Alex’s thigh in a sort of reassuring way.
Alex blushes and presses a kiss into the charcoal and blond hair that was brushing over his chin, he smiles and intertwines their free hands together because it was just instinct; and he kind of loved holding the younger’s hand. His heart was fluttering when he heard the three words- he knew it was only meaning the best friend way and that he was extremely drunk- but it still made his heart flutter.
“I love you too, Jackary.”
Normal Time.
“Since when do you cut, Jack?” asks Rian with a sad look on his face; Jack hated the grey tear lines that were dirtying his slightly tan cheeks.
Jack scowls and sips on his glass of water, brown doe eyes looking to his white-toothed friend who was somewhat looking at him with disappointment and sadness. “Six years, started off for one each year that Alex and I were apart then a lot for when I found out I would be his divorce lawyer.”
The messy haired boy is glaring at him before he shakes his head softly in disbelief; honey eyes glaring towards Jack because he just did not want to believe the words… didn’t want to believe that he was the cause of the younger mans decision to self harm.
And with that, Jack puts the glass into the old dishwasher and walks back to his bedroom. His eyes were heavy with sleep and tears as he cuddles back into Chris’ bare chest, fingers resting on the prominent hip bones as he holds him close—head buried into his chest; tears almost falling onto the tattooed chest.
At the feel of the warm hair touching against his chest the younger of the two stirs in his sleep; brown eyes opening and glancing down to the gorgeous boy that was cuddled to his side, tears in his amazing eyes.
“Hey… what’s wrong?” Chris whispers, t-fingers gently making Jack look up into his eyes.
Jack squirms a little and looks up to the gorgeous eyes; fingers tracing over the amazing hips before he sniffles and puts one leg over his thighs with a sad expression on his face: “Alex is here… he’s, he’s telling Rian bad stuff about me.”
Chris frowns a little bit at the words and presses a kiss against his temple; with a sad expression on his face, “what’s he saying, Jackary?”
Jack squirms a little more as he feels a tear slide down his cheek onto one of the younger’s tattoo’s that read: Love Is My Weapon. He loved that tattoo; he’d gotten it with Jack pointing towards him with a huge grin on his face… “I’ll--I better show you.”
The Indie boy nods his head as he watched the older of the two pull off the large hoodie and toss it over to the chair in the corner. His dark hair is falling in his eyes as he looks down to his hands; he’s nervous, doesn’t want to show his best friend the scars that litter his wrists—the abstract art.
“W-well… I-I… I cut.”
Chris’ eyes widen as he sees the scabs and scars that were spotted all over the porcelain wrists and he wants to cry. He couldn’t believe that he had never noticed this before- he was such a shit friend, he decides.
“Why?” is the first thing that falls from her mouth as he presses soft kisses all over the cuts; getting a small smile from the dark haired boy.
“It was an escape… the only one I thought that I had,” he says softly, looking to the Indie boy with a sorry expression on his face because he can feel the disappointment in his best friends’ voice- it’s breaking him.
“You have me… I can be your escape,” Chris whispers, brushing the dark hair from his eyes.
“Aw, how fucking adorable!” coos the mimicking voice of the youngest Gaskarth, it comes from the door and it’s awful to hear compared to the comforting sweet voice of Christofer Drew Ingle.
“Oh for fucks sake, leave me alone, Alex!” Jack groans burying his head further into the Indie’s chest with an annoyed groan as the younger glares towards the messy haired boy with a cocked brow.
“Why? Want more time alone with your whore?” snarls the other with a growl pulling over his pointed white teeth; eyes slitting into two and it scares Jack- he had never seen him like this.
Jack snaps then, he stands up and pushes his hands hard against Alex’s chest, he sees the older stumble and he can’t help but smirk at that because he never really had the strength to do that with Alex.
“Don’t you call him a whore, for God’s sake! Get the fuck out of my apartment, Alex!” he yells, tears in his eyes as he throws a punch down onto the boys nose, “he was there when you weren’t, just fucking leave!” he screams shoving the boy towards the door with tears running down his cheeks. He closes the door and slides down it- tears pouring down his cheeks.
He puts his face in his hands and starts to sob hysterically, shoulders shuddering at the sobs falling out of his throat.
“What did you want, anyway, Alex?” Rian asks, lips sipping at the hot drink which had some marshmallows floating at the top which hit his lips with the pink goo that had melted from them.
Alex fidgets a little on his chair as he puts his mug onto the work top; brown eyes look to his old friend with a frown on his face, “everything is screwed up, Ri, all of our lives and fucking fucked up!” he exclaims with big hand gestures; eyes wide at the younger.
Rian frowns at this- what does he mean? Well, Rian knows what he means but he didn’t know anyone but Jack, Caleb and he knew about the weed that he smokes on a daily basis. He plays it dumb: “What do you mean?”
Alex groans in frustration; he knew Rian knew what he was getting at- why was he playing stupid? But he just continues with it because honestly, Rian was asking for any amount of patronising that was about to hit him. “You smoke pot on a daily basis; Zack’s an alcoholic!”
“But there’s nothing wrong with Jack!” Rian argues back, eyebrows creasing together because this time, he wasn’t playing dumb. There was nothing wrong with the youngest of them… he was fine, right?
Alex scoffs and shakes his head a little, hand pushing through his purple-red coloured locks before he locks eyes with Rian, “he’s the worst, Rian… he’s a self harmer- he has sliced up arms!” Alex all but yells at Rian, because how had he not noticed anything?
Rian freezes on the spot and shakily sits down on the chair; he hadn’t anticipated that. He puts his faces into his hands and his shoulders start to shake as sobs rack through his body, he couldn’t help it- he didn’t want to lose Jack.
-
Nothing more than a blow job had happened, Chris was just fucking vocal at anything- Jack supposed that’s what happens when you give a singer head (or any means of sexual contact) they will be fucking loud not that he was complaining- it’s a turn on.
Chris was now cuddled into Jack’s bare chest; nose tucked into the curve of Jack’s neck as he slept quietly with a small smile on his slightly red lips, which were set into the most adorable pout Jack had seen in a while.
And just as Jack is about to forget about all the shit that is happening and cuddle up to his gorgeous best friend he hears what he doesn’t want to hear; it’s hell to his ears when his old best friend fucking yells:
“He’s the worst, Rian… he’s a self harmer- he has sliced up arms!”
And Jack had almost forgotten about his abstract art; almost forgotten about the little piece of metal that was stashed away in the bathroom just down the hall from his bedroom… but that yell of him stabs him and he’s frowning; dark eyes glancing down to his slashed wrists with a tear rolling down his cheek.
Jack gently removes Chris’ arms from around his waist and wraps them around one of his pillows instead. He’s standing soon and sliding into a pair of black sweats that were discarded to the floor; then a big blue jumper that belonged to Chris but had been too big for him.
His feet pad on the carpet as he walks to the kitchen and leans on the door frame; he watches the scene unfold in front of him and he fucking hates it. It’s too similar, he guesses. He’s seen Alex comforting so many crying people before that this just brings back sour memories that he would rather forget.
“Had fun talking about me?” he sneers from the door, lips curling around his teeth in a snarl as he looks towards the messy haired man and the one he had lived with for six years.
“Finally stopped fucking, huh?” Alex growls, hand rubbing circles on Rian’s back in a comforting way (Jack wasn’t sure why Rian needed to be comforted though).
Jack laughs bitterly at the snide comment and runs a hand through his ebony hair; “Blatantly,” he says with an eye roll, feet taking him to the sink where he pours himself a glass of water.
Alex is on him in a second; snide face in front of Jacks as he throws questions towards the half asleep male that just wanted to go cuddle with Chris in his warm, cosy bed right now… damn, that was his idea of heaven right now.
Flash Back
Jack stumbles into the tour bus; it’s not a pretty sight as his feet stumble over each other- hands are clumsy as he reaches for a bottle of water in the ‘fridge’ which happened to be the oven. Alex can’t help but snort in laughter as he watched from his book.
“What are you laughing at, Alexander?” purrs the younger of the two as he flops next to the elder; flipping his legs over Alex’s thighs.
Alex had almost forgotten about how smart Jack always sounded when he got wasted and he snorts in laughter again (much to Jack’s annoyance). “You.”
“And why would you be laughing at me, Alexander?” persists the younger as he leans forwards on his elbows to get a better look at Alex who has his eyebrow cocked at him in humour.
“Cos you’re a fucking freak.”
Jack rolls his eyes; “A freak I am not, whomever is a freak to you, is probably normal on this earth!” retorts Jack with a smirk, forehead resting against Alex’s shoulder as he looks up to him waiting for the reply of the elder.
“Oh, dear, Jackary…” Alex mumbles with a shake of his head; hands finding his waist as he picks him up to take him to his bunk.
“You’re not going to rape me, art thou?” Jack slurs drunkly as he buries his head deep into the nape of Alex’s neck; voice and giggles vibrating against his neck in such a fucking good way, Alex felt himself get a tad excited.
“Maybe, but if I told you, it would ruin the surprise!” Alex exclaims with a laugh as he puts Jack down into his bunk with a fond eye roll when Jack starts to giggle a little.
Jack snuggles more into Alex’s chest; a big grin spread on his face as he tangles their legs together fondly because he was so drunk he didn’t know what was happening- but all he knew was that Alex was comfy and very cuddly; snugly; and comfortable.
“I love you, Alexander… you’re extremely comfortable too, young Alexander,” Jack giggles into his chest; big smile on his face as his fingers stroke over Alex’s thigh in a sort of reassuring way.
Alex blushes and presses a kiss into the charcoal and blond hair that was brushing over his chin, he smiles and intertwines their free hands together because it was just instinct; and he kind of loved holding the younger’s hand. His heart was fluttering when he heard the three words- he knew it was only meaning the best friend way and that he was extremely drunk- but it still made his heart flutter.
“I love you too, Jackary.”
Normal Time.
“Since when do you cut, Jack?” asks Rian with a sad look on his face; Jack hated the grey tear lines that were dirtying his slightly tan cheeks.
Jack scowls and sips on his glass of water, brown doe eyes looking to his white-toothed friend who was somewhat looking at him with disappointment and sadness. “Six years, started off for one each year that Alex and I were apart then a lot for when I found out I would be his divorce lawyer.”
The messy haired boy is glaring at him before he shakes his head softly in disbelief; honey eyes glaring towards Jack because he just did not want to believe the words… didn’t want to believe that he was the cause of the younger mans decision to self harm.
And with that, Jack puts the glass into the old dishwasher and walks back to his bedroom. His eyes were heavy with sleep and tears as he cuddles back into Chris’ bare chest, fingers resting on the prominent hip bones as he holds him close—head buried into his chest; tears almost falling onto the tattooed chest.
At the feel of the warm hair touching against his chest the younger of the two stirs in his sleep; brown eyes opening and glancing down to the gorgeous boy that was cuddled to his side, tears in his amazing eyes.
“Hey… what’s wrong?” Chris whispers, t-fingers gently making Jack look up into his eyes.
Jack squirms a little and looks up to the gorgeous eyes; fingers tracing over the amazing hips before he sniffles and puts one leg over his thighs with a sad expression on his face: “Alex is here… he’s, he’s telling Rian bad stuff about me.”
Chris frowns a little bit at the words and presses a kiss against his temple; with a sad expression on his face, “what’s he saying, Jackary?”
Jack squirms a little more as he feels a tear slide down his cheek onto one of the younger’s tattoo’s that read: Love Is My Weapon. He loved that tattoo; he’d gotten it with Jack pointing towards him with a huge grin on his face… “I’ll--I better show you.”
The Indie boy nods his head as he watched the older of the two pull off the large hoodie and toss it over to the chair in the corner. His dark hair is falling in his eyes as he looks down to his hands; he’s nervous, doesn’t want to show his best friend the scars that litter his wrists—the abstract art.
“W-well… I-I… I cut.”
Chris’ eyes widen as he sees the scabs and scars that were spotted all over the porcelain wrists and he wants to cry. He couldn’t believe that he had never noticed this before- he was such a shit friend, he decides.
“Why?” is the first thing that falls from her mouth as he presses soft kisses all over the cuts; getting a small smile from the dark haired boy.
“It was an escape… the only one I thought that I had,” he says softly, looking to the Indie boy with a sorry expression on his face because he can feel the disappointment in his best friends’ voice- it’s breaking him.
“You have me… I can be your escape,” Chris whispers, brushing the dark hair from his eyes.
“Aw, how fucking adorable!” coos the mimicking voice of the youngest Gaskarth, it comes from the door and it’s awful to hear compared to the comforting sweet voice of Christofer Drew Ingle.
“Oh for fucks sake, leave me alone, Alex!” Jack groans burying his head further into the Indie’s chest with an annoyed groan as the younger glares towards the messy haired boy with a cocked brow.
“Why? Want more time alone with your whore?” snarls the other with a growl pulling over his pointed white teeth; eyes slitting into two and it scares Jack- he had never seen him like this.
Jack snaps then, he stands up and pushes his hands hard against Alex’s chest, he sees the older stumble and he can’t help but smirk at that because he never really had the strength to do that with Alex.
“Don’t you call him a whore, for God’s sake! Get the fuck out of my apartment, Alex!” he yells, tears in his eyes as he throws a punch down onto the boys nose, “he was there when you weren’t, just fucking leave!” he screams shoving the boy towards the door with tears running down his cheeks. He closes the door and slides down it- tears pouring down his cheeks.
He puts his face in his hands and starts to sob hysterically, shoulders shuddering at the sobs falling out of his throat.
♠ ♠ ♠
sorry for not updating.