Sid and the Last Five Years

“I didn't know what to think. Imagine if someone you idolized just suddenly snapped- and in such a short amount of time! One moment Adam and I were sitting in my room, going on with our simply lives, and the next we were fighting for them. My dad was at one point in time, my real-life hero. He was better than batman.

“Better than batman.

“The cat, it's head hung lifelessly from it's snapped neck. The cat's fur was matted down and drenched in blood, My mother couldn't shut her mouth and continued on with the arrogance. You would think she would understand that this wasn't a battle of pride anymore, you think she would quit with the loathing and try to find common ground with my dad, but she didn't. Nor will she ever.

“He circled around the room, his hand now a blur of red, as he paced and paced. He stopped cold; he stopped dead. Adam stood in the doorway with his hands to his sides, his lips apart, vaguely resembling a statue I once saw at the park. His legs were just like mine, like stakes on the ground. It was obvious he had been crying, his eyes red and swollen. My father looked at me, and it was then I knew he had known I had been there all along. He marched over to Adam, they were face to face; my dad stared into Adam's eyes. I could hear the heavy breathing of my dad, the whine releasing from Adam, and the fighting words my mother surged on with. My dad's hands caressed Adam's cheek, then roughly pushed him to the floor.

“'You're a constant reminder of your mother's mistakes.'

“'You don't say that to him! Fuck you!' I screamed. I had never really been one to swear, although I had secretly cussed with the few friends I had on the playground, feeling superior that I had such a wide vocabulary, but truthfully I had never realized the significance or meanings behind any of it. I knew it was wrong, my mother exchanged such words with my father and vise versa, but I was eight. But never had I revealed this to my parents, as I spat the words out of my mouth. My father would have scalded me for it if he were in the right state of mind, but he wasn't. It makes me think, if I could pick up their adult language so easily, could I also pick up their behaviors?

“Adam was now on the floor, partly from a loss of balance and the man who had just placed him there. 'You were always-' He halted his words mid-sentence then continued over to my mother. 'You see what you do?' He pointed to Adam, he pointed to me. 'They think I'M the bad person. I LOVE them, but they're just like you. They never listen, they never think, they'll never grow.'

“He took both of his hands and brought my mother up to his face. 'Oh just shut up! Just shut up!' she cried. 'You're nothing but a pushover. You're just like your mother! A fucking psycho!' He had a strong grip of her hair, and in the blink of an eye she was pulled back down to the floor. My father's knee rested on the cement floor of the garage, with gritted teeth and unforgiving eyes, he slammed her head against the hard ground.

“'Stop! Stop!' I cried, but it was no use. He left the room, I fell over as if I had been the one who was engaged in physical abuse. 'Mom, it's all your-'

“'You'll regret it! Oh, you'll regret it!' He called from the other room. Laughter from a crazy man blared. Putting the spite I felt behind me, I crawled over to my mother and wrapped my arms around her bloody neck. Adam writhed in pain, my mother winced as my light touch hit her skin, I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

“Falling noises, crashing, breaking plates and slamming cupboard doors, and then the sound. You know, that sound when you hear a liquid splash onto a floor. We all stopped breathing. He came back into the garage. 'I'll give you to the count of-' But my mother was already out the door, she did not want to play a game that risked our lives. She was stupid, by God she was stupid, but she was not so idiotic as to jump into a pit of fire.

“I was observing him as he lit the match. My mother, Adam and I were now out by the maple trees and the brush, just waiting for someone to overhear the incident and inform the police of Dad's meltdown.

“The air outside was a nip bit to my face, my mom had one arm cautiously around my shoulder and the other around Adam. I remember seeing the first flame turn into a long line that devoured the house. Our house was gone, our cat was gone, our dad was gone but not dead.

“Mom spent the night in the hospital. I kissed her before we departed, but it was tasteless. I was enraged with her, frightened at the situation of course, but extremely angered at her. Adam and I were rushed over to my distant aunt's house. I hated my aunt's house, it smelled of heavy liquor and old cigarettes. In a way it reminded me of the house Adam and I grew up in.

“My aunt didn't talk to us about it, which I guess was best. What do you say to two kids you see once every year and avoid gifting Christmas presents to at a time like that? 'I'm sorry, that sucks'? There's nothing really to say.

“The guest room I stayed the night in was small, and I confined myself in the jail that it was. Adam slept in the same room as my aunt (I wanted nothing to do with the woman.) I hid under the thin blankets, neglecting the evil outside world for a while; I was not alone.

“'You know it was your fault, correct?' The voice was low and heartless, cold and cruel, it was full of ridicule at a time where there should only be comfort.

“'Who-'

“'I am Sid. And you, my dear, are in an awful lot of trouble.'

“'Don't eat me, don't eat me.'”