Without You, I'm Just Me

I stayed at Naomi's that night, just to be alone. My mom and dad called to see how I was and I told them exactly that I needed to be alone. They firmly agreed, as long as I was okay.

Lee had brought the boys back after a few hours, so I wasn't alone. Benji crawled into my lap, yawning, while Lewy sat beside me, resting his head on my arm. The 3 of us were in our bubble of silence again; I flipped the channels, trying to find something for us to watch. We settled on cartoons; the boys seemed to enjoy them, laughing occasionally. I was off in my head, wondering how Naomi was.

As I drifted off, my phone began to ring. It wasn't anyone I knew, but I decided to answer it just to shut it up; "Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Bruce Ahmed and I work for NY Gossip."

I sighed, "Naomi isn't here, and what's going on is none of your business."

"Could you tell me what's going on with Robert Coppola?"

"He's a fucking animal. There? You happy? Stop calling me," I angrily shut my phone off and tossed it on the coffee table.

"Are those the people that take your picture?" Benji asked.

"Yeah," I murmured, "I wish they'd leave me alone."

"They like you, daddy?"

"Uh...I don't know," I answered.

Benji didn't say anything else, he continued to rest against me. It didn't take long for both of them to fall asleep. It seemed only natural that they, and myself, would fall asleep. The day seemed to drag on and it exhausted me. The boys seemed to be exhausted as well and I don't blame them.

I put them in Naomi's bed to sleep; I knew they'd want that. Returning to the living room, it was filled with the animations on TV. I flipped the channels, curiously wondering if anyone was talking about what was going on.

It didn't take long for me to find out. On E! News, she was the hot topic of the night.

"Victoria's Secret model, Naomi Valentino, is in a Chicago hospital after what sources are stating as a failed suicide attempt. The 27 year old model and mother of 2, known for her billboard ads and being Pete Wentz's baby mama, was rushed to the hospital on Tuesday night after Wentz found her in her home. Sources say this comes after breaking up with fiancée Robert Coppola, who is jail after threatening Valentino with bodily harm. Pete Wentz also got in on the mix, coming just after his sudden divorce to Ashlee Simpson. Wentz reportedly assaulted Coppola after he called Naomi--"

I put the TV on mute, frowning at how casual the host seemed to be. Nothing was simple and casual and easy about this shit. No one knew the truth and no one had the right to know anything. I couldn't wait for this mess to be swept away. We didn't need this.


The next morning, the kids and I stayed in our pajamas and ate cereal. Benji wasn't feeling too good and Lewy was the same, both reserved and missing Naomi. Before long, I got them up and changed them; we went over to my parents for a bit.

The kids were depressed. It's terrible to see and to know that they were. Because they're 3 and 5, they shouldn't even know pain like that.

"Poor little guys," my mom had murmured, "when's Naomi coming home?"

"Lee said she was being released this afternoon," I looked at my phone, "I'm gonna take them back home so they'll be there when she comes home."

"That's a good idea," my mom exhaled, "I never seen them so sad before."

I only stayed there for a little while before we went back to Naomi's. Once again, the 3 of us were on the couch. At around 1, the front door had opened and both of the boys shot up. I heard Naomi's voice, making my stomach knot; "There're my babies!"

I followed after the boys; Naomi knelt on her knees, hugging them, "Ugh, I missed you two so much!"

"We missed you, mommy!" Benji exclaimed.

"Are you all better?" Lewy asked.

"Yeah, mommy's better," she said softly.

I stood back, watching them embrace. When they parted, Naomi stood and came over to me; her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I sighed softly and hugged her back, "I love you."

She kissed my cheek, "I love you, too."

I heard Lee before I saw him; he cleared his throat, "I have to head down to Michigan, so I'll be out until tomorrow. Check in with me, Naomi."

Naomi let me go, turned and said, "I will. I'll even have breakfast with Amy and Abbey--all of us will."

Lee smiled, "Thank you. I'll call you tonight, see how you're doing. You got your prescription?"

Naomi nodded, then went over to her dad, hugging him, "Thank you, dad."

"Yeah," he rubbed her back, "I love you, kid."

"I love you, too."

Lee said short goodbyes and gave the boys hugs before he left. Naomi shut and locked the door after him and immediately rushed to the boys, hugging them, "Who wants to fill mom in on what you guys did while I was gone?"

Benji allowed her to pick him up and hold him, "We missed you!" He giggled and laughed.

Lewy even smiled following us back to the living room. Naomi was all smiles; a wide grin appeared on her face, "I missed you more! Did daddy take care of you?"

"Yes," Lewy said, "but he can't make good soup like you."

I gasped dramatically, "Excuse me?"

Naomi and the boys laughed; she smiled at me, "Did you cook the noodles through?"

"They was hard!" Benji said.

"I tried," I shrugged.

"I'll teach you," Naomi tilted her head towards me, "no worries."

I smiled at her, "Thanks."


Naomi was still smiling by the time the boys fell asleep. She and I put them in her room before we went to her bedroom. She had smiled, looked back at me and asked, "You guys slept in my bed?"

"How'd you know?" I asked as I pulled my shoes off.

"My bed isn't made how I make it," she said nonchalantly.

She got on the bed, rubbing her hands. I followed sitting in the middle; "How are you?"

"I'm good," she said and then shook her head, "they prescribed me Xanax. I begged them not to, but they said I have to take half a bar if I'm feeling anxious."

"How'd you get out early?"

"Lots of begging," she tightened her lips with a nod of her head.

"Glad you're back."

"Me too."

Naomi and I grew quiet. The 2 of us sitting there in comfortable silence. Then, she crawled over to me and kissed me; her hand cradling my cheek.

I wanted to stop her.

Don't get me wrong, sex is great with her, but I felt like we were rushing a lot. I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't want her to think that this was what I needed to be with her. So, I pulled back and took her hand from my cheek, "Navy, we ain't gotta have sex."

She blinked, silent. I couldn't read the expression on her face. It was just a blank stare.

"Did I do something wrong?" She practically whispered this.

"No, no," I shook my head, "I don't want you to think that this is what we have to do whenever we're together."

She looked down, "Sorry...I'm just...it's a lame excuse."

"What?" I asked, urged to know what she meant.

Her shoulders shrugged again, "Rob expected it whenever he would come over, anytime we were alone. I know, it's stupid, I'm sorry."

I leaned in, kissing her softly. I nipped at her bottom lip before pulling back, just a little, "I'm not like him, so I don't expect anything from you. All I want is for you to be happy...your happiness comes first, alright? I'm last in everything."

She spoke in a whisper, barely audible, "Okay."

Suddenly it felt like everything was right. The world, the stress, the anger -everything had sucked me dry; drained me. I felt more exhausted than I ever felt in my entire life, but at the same time I felt so much relief. The world drained me, but I was still standing, I was here with the one person I was meant to be with.

Naomi pulled her hand from my grasp and wrapped her arms around me. She was in my lap, holding onto me as if I was the last thing on earth protecting her from the end of it all. I held her back, wanting her closer to me, just to know, to feel that she was really there and that she knew I love her more than I loved anyone or anything else in my life.

"I love you," she breathed, "I love you, Pete. I love you."

I swallowed and rubbed her back; my own eyes swelled up with tears. I felt my entire body become overwhelmed with emotion. I shut my eyes, letting the tears rolled down my cheeks; "I love you, Naomi. More than anything."

She pulled back, her palms cupping my cheeks; eyes darted around my face before she locked eyes with me. Her thumbs rubbed away the tears before her lips met mine. We kissed slowly, softly; Naomi dominated it, her weight fell against my body, causing her to straddle my hips.

She broke away and looked down at me, "I want you."

I nodded dumbly; my head clouded with lust and my jeans grew tight around the zipper. I swallowed and sat up partly, pulling her UC sweatshirt off and ran my hands up her bare stomach; her hands disappeared behind her back to unhook her bra, tossing it to the floor. Naomi climbed off of me and pulled her sweats off, and I copied her actions. My jeans, hoodie and shirt were on the floor; Naomi tugged at my boxers, easily slipping out of her panties. She crawled on top of me while my hands explored her body; I just wanted her; everything else faded away.

I ran my hand between her thighs, groaning at the contact. She was already wet, soaking against my palm. Naomi mewled and tugged my hair back to kiss me; I chuckled against her lips, hers turned up against mine.

She let out a loud gasp when I slipped two fingers into her. Her nails dug into my shoulders, her teeth bit down, gently, on my bottom lip. She released and sighed, her hips swaying as I began to move them in and out; my thumb rubbed at her clit, earning louder groans, to which she clamped her mouth shut. I kissed at the underside of her jaw, moving my fingers in and out of her wetness slow and hard. Naomi writhed in pleasure, groaning and tightening her grip on my shoulders.

I could feel her muscles clench around my fingers; her mouth parting to pant and curse under her breath. She spilled my name as she squirmed on her knees, her hips rocking in rhythm with my hard thrusts. Her moans got a little louder, she buried her face into the crook of my neck, breathing heavily and exhaling deeply with a squeal of delight. Her teeth bit down once, her hips rocking against my hand, "I'm gonna--" she stopped as her orgasm rocked her body. She moaned loudly against the side of my neck, her hips and fingers still in a slow rhythm.

Naomi came down and kissed me; she cupped my jaw and nestled herself against my cock, that was standing at attention. She looked down, easily guiding me inside of her; I groaned and she smiled wickedly. I could only utter that I love her before she began to rock and roll her hips against mine.

My head fell back with a loud groan. I held her hips, kissing her while her left hand held my jaw and her right fell down my chest, to my hip. Her nails dug into my side; she grunted against my mouth, cursing a mesh of swears. I dropped one hand on her ass and pulled her closer, slipping deeper into her, feeling closer to her. Her rocks got harder and faster; I was hanging on, I could cum at any given moment with her. Naomi grabbed my hair, "I can feel you, you're almost there."

I grunted a response and gave a quick nod. She kissed me and sighed, "Cum."

I grunted, "Not yet."

"I'm almost there."

I could feel her tightening against me. God, the feeling was overwhelming. I growled and felt her shake, moan and I felt her nails dig into backside; she came. I followed behind her, filling her with all of me. Naomi sighed, her sweaty and flushed skin stuck to mine; I kissed her moistened face.

"I needa shower," she said lazily.

"Lets go take one."

"Gimme a second for the feelin' to come back to my legs."

I laughed, lifted her up and laid her on the bed. I rolled over and laid next to her; Naomi smiled when she looked at me; "Can you make me a promise?"

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Please don't leave. If it were up to me, you would never leave me, and I can't--I don't want you to leave."

I shook my head, "I'm not goin' anywhere, I swear. I promise."

Naomi sat up, leaned over and kissed me, "Good."

Once we parted, Naomi got up, tugged my hand; I followed her to the bathroom, kicked the door close behind me and pushed her up against the sink.