Without You, I'm Just Me

The kids and I played the entire morning and afternoon. Ashlee had joined us for a bit, but soon left to meet up with friends. It was good for her, and it was awesome for me to just be with my kids. It was rare for me to spend so much time with them. This is what I had been missing, what I needed. Also, I felt good about them being with me, at least I knew they weren't being harmed.

I hadn't thought of Naomi, not for awhile anyway. Benji settled for a nap in the afternoon, while Lewy and I colored. Lewy had been looking at me worriedly as we colored pages from a superhero coloring book.

"What's up, Lew?" I looked up at him.

"I want mommy here," he said, "My tummy hurts cuz mommy's gone."

My brows rose, "Really? Are you worried about her?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I don't want her to be sad."

"She won't be sad, Lew, she's not around Rob right now. She's working."

"Good," he mumbled.

It raged me how much my kid worried about Naomi, for the simple fact that he's a kid. He's 4, he shouldn't have to worry about anything. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got; I just couldn't stand to sit back anymore.

I couldn't let this happen. I had to do something, anything. I decided then that I was gonna confront Rob.

So, when I knew Naomi would be returning home, I left the house an hour early. I drove to their place, with the kids, feeling angrier with each passing minute. My stomach was entangled, but I was just pissed more than anything. My plan wasn't thought out fully, other than I was ready to kill him. It wasn't much of a plan, it was something I had to do.

I parked out front, and sat in the car for a minute. Lewy was asleep, Benji was up, but drowsy. I got out and opened the back door, "Benny," he looked over at me, yawning, "I'm gonna go inside real quick, okay? Just stay put, don't worry."

He nodded, "'Kay."

"I'll be right out."

Benji just hummed and nuzzled into his blanket. I shut the door and then proceeded up to the front of the house. My heart was racing, my fists balled; I knocked on the door and waited. The seconds fell away, the anguish coursed through my veins. I was really gonna kill this guy if I had to.

The door opened, there was Rob, looking at me with a cocked brow, "Naomi isn't here yet."

"Yeah, I know," I forced my way in, "We're gonna talk."

"Where're the kids?" He asked.

"In my car," I faced him, "Me and you are gonna talk about what the fuck you've been doing."

His brows creased, "What?"

"Don't play dumb, man, my son told me everything," I spat.

"Told you what?" He was playing dumb so good.

"That you've been putting your hands on Naomi, that you yell at her and call her names--"

He cut me off, "What me and Naomi do--"

"I'm giving you fair warning to shut the fuck up," I growled at him, "You're gonna listen, and listen very fucking good," I pointed my finger in his face, all the while he held a smirk, "You touch Naomi in anyway she doesn't like, and my kid tells me, I'll come back over here and fucking murder you. You speak foul to her, even if my kids aren't around, I'll find out and I'll fucking kill you."

His eyes narrowed, "You're funny, Pete, you really are. You think I treat her any worse than you did? I treat her better--"

"You treat her worse!" I snapped, "I may've cheated on her, but I never beat her up."

"I don't beat her up."

"Bullshit! I grew up with a guy like you, Naomi dated a fucking psycho who would've turned out like you. I'm warning you, Rob, you touch her or my kids again, I'll kill you."

He just gave me a cocky glare. He radiated this vibe of being untouchable. I would kill him.

"I don't mean figuratively kill you, either," I added, "I will murder you, Rob. I will beat you until your heart stops and my clothes are soaked in your blood."

"Try me," he uttered, out spreading his arms.

"I'm giving you a warning, because I care about Naomi. If she really loves you, like she says she does, I'm not gonna give her grief. You should think about how much she loves you and remind yourself that you hit someone who says they love you. You should feel ashamed."

"You think I don't know how much Naomi loves me?" He laughed, "She loves me more than she ever gave a damn about you. I never slept with her friends and I never dropped her for some hack singer and knocked her up. I give her whatever she wants, and if I really wanted to control this whole relationship, your kids would be calling me daddy."

That's when I lost it. I couldn't hold myself back. I hit Rob in his face as hard as I could. My knuckles cracked against his teeth, causing us both to grunt. I hissed at the sharp pain shooting up my hand; I recoiled back, ready for whatever came next.

Rob came at me like a bull; charging and tackling me. I hit the back of my head against the hardwood floor, and felt instantly dizzy, but the adrenaline overrode it. I raised my fists and began pummeling Rob anywhere I could get a punch in. He got me on my back, hitting me multiple times in the face. We were going at it, I was losing, but I wouldn't stop until I was unconscious or fucking dead.

"Hey!" We heard Naomi shout, "What the fuck is going on?!"

Rob kept hitting me, I was blocking the blows. Naomi had grabbed him and pulled him off of me. He growled, "Get off of me!"

"What the fuck?!" She shouted, "Pete, what the hell are you doing?"

I staggered to my feet; my kids were off by the door, both watching. I sighed and looked back at Naomi, "I was talking to him," I panted.

"Why were you hitting each other?" She snapped.

Rob and I were both breathing hard. I looked at him, fighting the urge to tackle him. I looked at Naomi, "I told him he wasn't gonna put his hands on you or my kids or I'd kill him."

She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, "Pete get out now."

"What?" I exclaimed, "I was defending you! I was helping you and our kids! I'm not gonna sit around and know you're being abused!"

"I am not being abused! Our sons aren't being abused either!"

I licked over my lips; my bottom lip stung at the contact, "You know what, I quit. I ain't gonna help you, Naomi," I grunted, "The only thing I'm gonna do is take care of my kids, I'm taking them with me."

"No you're not--"

"Yes I am!" I screamed at her; she recoiled back, Rob put his arm around her.

I snarled at him as he smirked; there was blood dripping from his nose. I moved around them, "I hope he kills you," I muttered to her.

I went over to the boys and picked them up. Benji immediately started to whine, holding me tightly. I sighed, taking Lewy's hand and taking them out the house.

A few feet from my car, Naomi called after me. I didn't stop, I hurriedly opened the backseat and told Lewy to get in. Naomi grabbed my arm, "You can't take them from me!"

"Yes I can," I told her, "They're my kids too."

"Pete, you're blowing everything out proportion," she spoke softer, "Nothing is going on--"

"You're lying, Naomi," I put Benji in his car seat; she walked around me to get to him, "Stop," I told her.

"Pete," she looked at me desperately, "Just let me say goodnight to them," I shook my head, but stepped back. "Check your face, too, you've got a split lip."

I moved away from her and let her talk to them. The adrenaline and anger I felt slipped away, I was now in pain, physically, from being hit. Naomi finally shut the door, and looked back at me, "I'll get them some clothes--"

"You're seriously going to stay--"

It was her time to cut me off, "Pete, I'm giving you time with them, even if it means you coming in and bashing your fists against my boyfriend's face."

I felt like everything I tried to say went in one ear and out the other.

"I'm trying to help you," I exasperated, ready to shake her, "Naomi, I know that I wasn't the best guy, but how can you think that he, a guy that beats you, is ever better than me?"

"Why do you care?" She asked angrily, "You never gave a damn about me before, what makes it so different now?"

"I always cared!"

"No you didn't," her eyes were glossy, her jaw clenched, "You went months without calling me, without seeing your sons, so what now? Go worry about your wife, leave me alone; the only thing you need to concern yourself with is our kids, and they aren't being abused! Rob doesn't hit them, I don't hit them; fuck, I don't even raise my voice at them. I love them with every bit of me, Pete, why do you think I hit Rob for spanking Lewis? I would never spank Lewis, and I told Rob that many times that I wouldn't and he that he had no right either."

"He hits you in front of them!"

"No he doesn't!" She growled, "All we do is argue, couples argue. And what we do is none of your business."

"You shouldn't argue in front of them; Lewis told me he calls you a bitch--"

"Just stop it," her voice cracked, "This is over. They can stay with you for as long as they want, but I want to see them and talk to them. When filming is over, I'm taking them home to Chicago with me."

"Naomi, listen to me," I grabbed her arms, "Do you want them to see you this way? To see some fucking prick beat on their mom?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks, "He doesn't beat me, Pete. If he did, wouldn't I be covered in bruises?"

I let go of her arms, "Abuse ain't always physical."

She sighed, "How many times do I have to explain myself? He doesn't abuse us."

"You don't deserve to be treated this way--"

"Like you know what I deserve," she spat, "You treated me like dirt, Pete."

"I was wrong for that. You don't deserve to be with people like me and you sure as hell don't need a guy like Rob."

She rubbed her eyes, "Just get in your car and wait here so I can get the kids' things. We're done talking."

I sighed and watched her go into the house. My stomach was in knots at the thought of leaving her there. I would be responsible if he hurt her; but I had a feeling he wouldn't hurt her too bad since she'd be on camera the next day.

Naomi came back out with a small duffle bag and handed it to me, "Take care of them. If they need me, just call."

"Naomi, please--"

She put her hand up, "Pete, if you ever cared or loved me, you'll let me go. You'll let me be happy with what I've got."

"This isn't happiness."

"You don't know what we have, Pete. You have your wife, whom you're happy with, and I have Rob and I'm very happy with him."

I could see she was on the edge of breaking down. I placed the bag inside the car and then turned to her, grabbing her and hugging her. Rubbing her back, I hugged her a little tighter, "I'm sorry this is happening to you, Navy. I love you, I'll always love you."

She sighed and patted my back, "Go home and be with our kids. I'll see Benji for his birthday tomorrow afternoon."

I pulled away from her and looked her over, "Okay."

"I ordered the cake and Patrick's coming," she said, "It's nothing big, just our friends."

"Yeah, okay."

Naomi stepped back, "Pete," she began softly, "I know Lewy doesn't like Rob...he doesn't want us together and he makes things out bigger than they are."

I just looked at her and shook my head. I climbed into my car, started it and took off.