Without You, I'm Just Me

I was salivating the moment you began whimpering

We left Chicago the last day of March. It was like a bittersweet moment, saying see you soon's to our families and Naomi saying bye to Rae and Ricky. Patrick said he'd come visit as soon as possible and I was hoping for that so we'd get the band back together.

The flight was fast, only Benji had fallen asleep, and I carried him while Naomi held Lewy's hand. We maneuvered through people and got our two bags with just a few stuff we had left. We exited the airport and I was shocked, really, to see photographers out there. They started calling out Naomi's name and then mine; Lewy got frustrated and pushed through a guy, "Move!"

Naomi picked him up, letting out a grunt, "Can you guys move, please? You're freaking my son out."

I walked in front of them, pushing everyone out the way. Lucky for me, Benji didn't wake up, he just held me tight. We finally got towards the cart rental area and got a car; no photographers were allowed behind the car park. We got the boys buckled in and set the bags in the trunk; "I'll drive," Naomi took the keys from me, smiling, "I know exactly where our new home is."

"Sure thing," I chuckled.

We got in the car and I started to mess with the radio while she drove. I found something to listen to and heard Lewy singing to himself and Naomi smiled. I looked up and saw the familiar streets; Naomi drove towards where I used to live with Ashlee, but passed the turn you would've made to get there.

"I met the neighbors," she said, "they're really nice. The husbands are all doctors and the wives are stay at home mom's."

"As long as they don't bother us, I'm cool with them."

"There's a lot of kids," she added, "Lew and Benny are gonna love it."

Naomi pulled up at the the gated community; Oak Park Homes. She entered the number and the gates opened, "That's where we live?" Lewy asked.

"Yeah, buddy," she answered. "How do you like it?"

"Lots of people," he muttered.

"There's a lot of kids too, bubba."

We drove a little longer, turning a corner and then ended up at the last house at the end. I smiled at the house I had seen online, "It looks even better than online."

Naomi parked in the driveway, "Wait until you're inside."

We climbed out; Naomi got Benji and carried him while me and Lewy got our bags. She handed me one of the keys, "Go ahead, babe," she told me.

I headed up the few steps to the porch and the door, unlocked it and stepped inside. It smelled nice inside, like vanilla, reminding me of Naomi; Lewy rushed in, dropping the bag in the foyer, that's what Naomi called it; "Whoa!"

"You like it?" Naomi asked, shutting the door.

"Yeah!"

"Your rooms are upstairs, go check it out."

Lewy took off, leaving us there. I turned to Naomi, "It's awesome."

"You should see the basement," she smiled at me, "it's all set up for you."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "What?"

She continued to smile, "Go on, Pete."

"What's down there?"

"Just go!" She giggled, "I'm gonna wake Benny Boy up and get the boys lunch, okay?"

I smiled back at her, "Alright."

She kissed my cheek sweetly and carried Benji to the living room. I followed to get to the basement that was right down the hall; I opened the door and jogged down there. I stopped short when I saw black walls and a deep red carpet; I saw my basses all set up on stands and my platinum plaques on the walls. I saw my records and books on a black bookshelf shaped like a coffin, "Holy shit, Navy," I mumbled to myself.

There was a black couch and spot lights that weren't turned on yet. I flipped the switch and the room lot up; posters of FOB, Guns 'N Roses, Lifetime, Panic and GCH were hung up. I grinned, my heart swelled up, "Goddamn."

I licked over my lips and checked everything out; it was empty, but I knew I'd fill it up so we could record new music. I was lost in my thoughts, thinking about FOB and showing the guys, when I felt a hand on my shoulder; "You like it?"

I turned my head and looked at Naomi. She bit down on her bottom lip, "I found the posters in your parents basement and your mom said I could take your platinum records because she has the gold ones from Infinity and Cork Tree."

I was actually speechless, "I dunno what to say, Navy."

"You like it, right?"

"Shit, yeah!" I exhaled deeply, "I'm gonna turn this into a studio."

"I knew you would," she wrapped her arms around my waist, I put my arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks, baby," I kissed the top of her head. "You're the best."

She kissed my jaw, "You're welcome. Come see our bedroom."

I smirked, "Hmm, are you suggesting somethin'?"

She laughed, "Yeah, later. Just come see the rest of the house."

Naomi let me go and took my hand to lead me upstairs.


Naomi had cooked after we checked out the house; she had done it up completely different that our old place. She painted our bedroom a gray color, Benji's room is his favorite color, a light green and Lewy's room was a dark gold color with his Batman things hung up. She had put up pictures of the boys and family; she even had a dog house outside ready for a new puppy.

"Where're we getting a puppy?" Benji asked while she fed him.

"Soon," she answered. "Tomorrow I have to meet some people for an interview for a magazine and I'll be gone all day. So you guys are to be entertained by daddy."

"I can think of a few things to do," I said with a small shrug. "We'll go grocery shopping and then go to the park."

"Good idea," Naomi smiled at me. "I knew you'd have a plan."

"LA's got a bunch of stuff to do. We'll probably find something else too."

"Thanks," she said, helping Benji eat. "This is gonna be a long interview. I'm not sure if I wanna really talk about everything, you know? I...I have that interview with Oprah, too...so weird."

"When's that?"

"A few weeks. She's gonna come here and visit me in the house. She wants to meet the boys and you. I haven't talked to her, just her "people.""

"Who's Oprah?" Benji asked.

Naomi laughed softly, "She's this nice lady who has her own TV show."

"Why does she wanna visit you?" Lewy asked next.

She licked over lips, "Well...remember all that stuff with Robert?"

Lewy froze and frowned, "Yeah."

"She wants to talk to me about that," Naomi said softly, "don't worry, you don't have to listen or be there."

Lewy nodded, "Okay. Am I gonna have a new doctor here?"

"Yep. You and Benny are already signed up for school and you'll meet your new doctor in a week. Are you excited?"

"I am!" Benji announced. "I can't wait to go ta school!"

"Is my doctor gonna be nice?" Lewy asked.

"I think he will be," Naomi smiled warmly. "If you don't like him, we can always find another one. His name is Frank Henderson, he's excited to meet you."

Lewy smiled, just a little, "That's cool. Is he old?"

We both laughed, "He's the same age as daddy."

"He's old," Benji said.

I frowned jokingly, "Hey, I'm not old!"

"Yes you are!" Benji laughed.

I tickled his side, "I'm not old, Benny!"

He just giggled, "Okay! Okay!"

Naomi kissed his cheek, "Aw, I'm old too, Benny."

"Not-uh, you're not old, mommy," Benji giggled in her lap.

"Yeah, I am so old," she told him in an animated voice, "I'm almost 30 years old!"

"That's not old," he said, making a face.

"I'm 32," I told him.

"That's old!" Benji exclaimed. "Over 31 is old!"

Naomi laughed and smiled at me, "I don't think you're old, Pete."

"Geez, thanks, Navy."

"How come you guys call mom Navy?" Lewy asked.

I looked over at him and shrugged, "I didn't like everyone calling her Nay."

"You made it up?" Benji asked now.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I just wrote her name down; Naomi Valentino and came up with Navy."

"It's weird," Benji continued to make a face. "Like Navy Pier," he shook his head, "I like callin' her mommy better."

I laughed, "You can call her that all you want, Benny Boy."

He huffed, causing Naomi to laugh, "I will."


Later that night, after the boys had gone to sleep, Naomi stayed up and cleaned up the kitchen. Really she was putting away dishes and making sure me and the boys knew where everything would be after we came back from grocery shopping. We both had changed in pajamas, right before we got into bed, she got up, "I have to put everything away!" And skipped off to the kitchen. I got tired of waiting and went to find her.

Naomi was leaning against the counter with her phone tilted horizontally. I cocked a brow, "What're you doing?"

"Angry Birds seasons," she said quickly. "I'm on the last Halloween level and I just need one more star."

I laughed and went over, leaned against the counter with her, "You're playing Angry Birds while I'm in bed waitin' for you?"

"Sorry, I got caught up," her eyes were still on the screen, "I saw the Angry Birds snacks in the cabinet and I remembered I had a few levels left."

"You ditched me for this," I pointed to her phone.

"Just gimme a minute," she whined, "I just need to get 3 stars and I'll go to bed."

I smirked and slipped my arm around her waist, pulling her to me. Naomi was too wrapped up in shooting birds and restarting the level to notice me. She cursed under her breath at the game while I ran my hand up the front of her shirt. I unhooked her bra and got her attention, she frowned as she looked back at me, "You made me waste a bird, Pete."

I grabbed her phone, "Fuck those birds, fuck me."

She sighed, "Oh, alright, since you're pushing something hard against me."

I laughed and kissed her, "C'mon."

Naomi pulled her bra out of her shirt, causing me to furrow my brow, "How?"

"Women have their secrets," she tossed her bra to the floor.

A growl sounded from my throat, totally out of my control, it surprised me. I swallowed and pulled her to me again, kissing her deeply, she only giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. I picked her up and put her on the counter, "I don't think I can make it to the room."

"All the way upstairs?" She teased.

"Nah, I can't."

She smiled and pulled her plaid pajama shorts down; she didn't have panties on. She smirked and giggled; "God, you're evil."

"Aw, I was just preparing for you, sugar," she kissed me while pulling me in between her legs.

I couldn't pull my bottoms down fast enough, I felt for skin and pulled her closer and closer to me. Our tongues mingled and danced together causing my gut to puddle and wave. I couldn't take it, I grabbed her hips and stepped back to get a good angle. Naomi sighed and kissed at my neck, I slipped inside of her easily; we both groaned in sync with one another; "Oh my God," she cried.

I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her jaw to her mouth, kissing her hard and deep. Naomi's hand cupped my jaw, while the other tugged at my hair; our hips rocked and met shortly, there wasn't a moment I wasn't inside of her. Our skin barely left one another, we grew sweaty and hot; I ran my hand up her shirt and felt her breast, earning a giggle as I tweaked and played with her nipple. I rocked harder against her, my thrusts grew faster and our skin was on fire. I whined in my throat, feeling my gut tighten and our muscles tense, "Fuck," I growled.

Naomi bit down on my neck, my name slipping from her mouth repeatedly like a prayer. I could feel her nails digging in my shoulders over my shirt. I swallowed, ready to explode, "Can I cum?" I asked desperately.

She nodded, whispering in my ear, "Yes."

I could feel Naomi release before I did, she clenched tight around me. I grunted and continued to rock harder; I held her tight as I came hard, deep inside of her. Naomi murmured something against my cheek, her lips kissing my flushed and hot skin, her hand rubbing my back. I could only manage to sigh and failed to kiss her back, I was exhausted. I laughed at myself, "Fuck, I am old."

Naomi giggled huskily, "No you're not."

I exhaled again, moving my hand from her shirt, but I rubbed her side, "Yeah I am."

She kissed my lips sweetly, "Okay, you are, but you still look like the same asshole who wouldn't leave me alone all those years ago."

I scoffed, "Please, you wouldn't leave me alone."

Naomi laughed, "You bothered me! You came over all the time."

I kissed her roughly, pulling out causing her to whine, "That's because I was and still am in love with you."

She shook her head with a small laugh, "I knew it."

I helped her pull her shorts up and grabbed her bra, "You needa show me how you did that."

"No way. It's a girls' secret. If you wanna know, you have to be a girl."

"God, you're so mean."

She kissed my cheek, "Oh, shut up, you love me, babe."

I smiled, "No shit."

We headed up to our room; I grabbed her, touching her as we headed up the stairs. We were nearly going at it again, but we were interrupted by Lewy calling for us. Naomi patted my chest, "I'll go see what's up with my bub, you just wait for me."

"Sure?"

She nodded, "Yes, now go. I won't be long."

I did as she said, watching her make her way down the other way to Lewy and Benji's rooms. She slipped into Lewy's room that had his name on the door, I heard her say, "What's wrong, bubba?"

I went into our room and climbed into bed, feeling really exhausted. My body was exhausted, even after a 10 minute session with Naomi. I laughed to myself and waited for her return.

I felt her arms around me after what felt like a second. I had jumped slightly, "Did I fall asleep?"

She hummed and snuggled close to me, "I think so. Go to sleep, babe, we've got a long day ta'morrow."

I shut my eyes again and sighed, wrapping my arm around her. Naomi laid right on my chest, I could feel her heart beating against mine. It was totally quiet. I fell asleep quickly, feeling Naomi beside me.
♠ ♠ ♠
I've been writing this trilogy for almost 4 years now and I've rewritten multiple times and I get excited and I grin like a fool when you guys comment and tell me you've been reading since I've started. I get a lot of messages from people telling me what they remember from the original and it just tugs at my heart strings. You guys are great and amazing and I do appreciate you and I'm happy you've read this. Even if you don't comment, reading it alone and subscribing is awesome.

Thank you all so very much.

I haven't been feeling too good about myself and I have had the flu for almost 2 weeks now, and getting nice messages and comments makes me feel a lot better. Along with Fall Out Boy, you guys are getting me through a rough patch. I can't even thank you enough.

I'll be as equally sad when it ends.

xxali