You Can Fight Fate, You Just End Up Losing

“Tanner!” I called from the babies room. “Tanner Luc Letang!”

“What is it?” he said running into the room.

“I need a little help here. Luc needs changed, Scarlett is hungry, and Sidney threw up. I can’t really feed Scarlett and do everything else.”

“Ok” he said kissing my forehead. “I got the boys, go ahead and feed Scarlett, baby.”

“This is way harder than I was ready for” I said sitting in the comfortable chair in the corner of the nursery. “Tanner can we really handle this and work at the same time?”

“Once we’re ready to go back to work we can always hire someone to help us out a little. Set up a nursery at the arena.”

“I don’t know Tan” I said adjusting in the chair to feed Scarlett. “I’m so sleepy all the time now.”

“I know Adds” he said putting the boys in the crib. “It’s hard getting used to it being 5 of us rather than the 2 of us.”

“Yea” I sighed, “but they’re so beautiful.”

“Yes they are. It’s only been a couple weeks Addie we’ll get used to this. I mean seriously” he held up Luc to face me, “how cute is this face.”

“I mean it’s cute but the baby has bested you Tans” I smiled giving him a kiss as he leaned down to me. “I love you sweetheart.”

“”Me or the baby?” he asked setting Luc into the crib and picking up Sidney.

“Oh, well you can’t ask me that when you’re holding a baby.”

“Don’t talk to me with your boobs out and expect me to put together coherent sentences.”

“Touché” I replied, burping Scarlett. “What?” I asked catching him staring at me.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and will ever see.”

“You’re just saying that because my boobs are out” I smiled up at him. “I love you, but quit staring at my chest, It’s weird because this is where your children eat.”

“Sorry, they were fun for me first.”

“I hope you realize how weird that is.”

“Yes, a little” he nodded cradling our son in his arms. “We made some cute babies.”

“Yes we did” I replied standing from the chair, before cuddling her into my chest. “So cute.”

“I think they’re asleep” he whispered. “Which means that we should sleep too.”

“Good. Because I might pass out right here” I said placing Scarlett in the crib next to her brothers. “Let’s go to sleep Tanner.”

“Come on” he said taking a hold on my hand pulling me from the crib towards our room. “You need to sleep.”

“I do” I replied curling into his side in the hall. “Is it bad that I miss it just being us?”

“No, I miss it just being us too, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“True” I smiled up at him as he held me tight to his chest. “It’s not fair you’re all toned and crap still.”

“You’re beautiful shush.”

“Shush, I don’t have time to work out with 3 tiny adorable babies and a husband to take care of.”

“You’re still hot Addie! I seriously can’t wait until the doctor says we can, you know.”

“Oh I know. And I want to feel hot for you.”

“You are hot.”

“You’re just saying that, I mean this stomach.”

“You just had not just 1 baby, you had 3. That’s going to take time to get it back.”

“It’s gone?” I asked pouting slightly. “I’ve lost it?”

“That’s not, Addie, I mean it in the sense that you’re going to be back where you want to be. But I don’t care, I . . .”

“You should stop, while you’re ahead” I said shaking my head at him. I crawled into our bed, pulling the covers back. “Get in here and cuddle with me.”

“You forgive me?”

“You’re a man you say stupid things sometimes. And I love you.”

“I love you too” he replied, placing a kiss on my shoulder as he cuddled up behind me.

“If we don’t sleep now we’re never going to, they’re going to be awake in a couple of hours.”

“Addison, we’re going to figure this all out, I promise” he whispered. “Pretty soon we’re going to be pros at this. Just wait and see.”

“I hope so” I sighed letting my eyes drift closed. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can. We can.”

“With you Tan, I can do anything.”

“That makes me feel like a million bucks Addie” he said giving me a squeeze.

“I could sleep all day like this Tans.”

“Then sleep.”

“I feel like the second I do they’ll wake up again.”

“I have the next round. You need to sleep.”

“So do you” I mumbled sleepily.

“Yes but you’ve taken the last couple of middle of the night wake up calls.” I didn’t say anything else, just let myself drift off lulled to sleep by the warm enclosure of his arms and the steady beat of his heart and sway of his breathing.

I woke with a start, the sun shining bright into our bedroom window. Why am I still in bed? And there are no crying babies. I turned to see that the monitor was shut off, and the clock on our bedside table read 9:21 they should have been up twice already. And where is Tanner?

I slid out of bed letting my feet hit the cool wood floor, I pulled down Tanners shirt so it would cover my still enlarged belly. No matter what Tan says about it, I hate what has happened to my body, even though I now have 3 tiny and beautiful babies out of it. I suppose it was an even trade.

I walked past the nursery seeing that it was empty. I walked down the stairs quietly listening for any noise that would lead me to Tanner and our babies. The TV was on, sports of course, so I followed the noise to the living room. I stopped when I saw Tanner sitting on the couch with my body pillow on his lap and our kids laying in a row on top of that, all 4 of them were fast asleep. Empty bottles sitting beside Tan on the couch. Guess I’ll have to stock up the freezer again. It’s hard not to feel like dairy cattle when you’re producing milk to feed babies.

I stood there for a minute before Luc started moving around. His arms stretched and waved around as I walked over to pick him up, “Oh you’re all awake, but you seem to have worn daddy out.” They looked around hearing me whisper, little smiles on their faces. “Good thing you’re too little to move around.”

I sat next to Tanner on the couch, kissing his forehead lightly. He took a deep breath, and his eyes fluttered open with a yawn. I smiled down at him, that was reciprocated before he looked down at the babies. “They’re a hand full.”

“We’ll get used to it” I said matter-of-factly. “Just in time for them to go off to college” I added with a laugh.

“You’re probably right” he smiled as Scarlett grabbed a hold of his finger. “She’s going to make me crazy, boy lining up around the corner . . . What have we done Addie?”

“We made tiny humans that’s what we did, and honestly it was fun.”

“It was fun wasn’t it?”

“Yep” I laughed taking Luc in my arms.

“When will we ever have fun again?”

“You’ll have to ask the doc that one Tans” I replied looking down at Luc’s tiny little face, the same nose as his father and grandfather, little stray dark hairs on top of his head. He’s a mini version of Tan. “They’re going to be heartbreakers. We’re going to have little girls here all the time too. I mean look at Sidney’s little blonde curls.”

“Yea, they’re handsome. Like someone. . .” he joked wiggling his eyebrows slightly.

“Right they look like daddy and Uncle Tangs.”

“Ouch Adds. . . Oh, are you laughing at me?” he asked just as Scarlett let out a tiny baby giggle. “Is daddy funny?” she smiled throwing her arms around. “Are you a happy little princess, now? Daddy makes you laugh.”

“You’re too cute Tanner” I whispered kissing him lightly on the lips. “Did you eat breakfast already?”

“No, the kids ate about an hour ago, I guess they’ve napped already too.”

“You have too” I laughed. . . . .