You Can Fight Fate, You Just End Up Losing

I woke up in my bed wondering if it all really was a dream. If Tanner had really followed me to Toronto and if we spent the week together and came clean about our feelings for each other. But it didn’t happen. He called to make sure I was alright but besides that I hadn’t heard from him. I spent one night in Toronto before heading up to where our families were. He didn’t try calling again after the last message and honestly I miss him.

“Addie, sweetie breakfast is ready.”

“Ok mom. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“Addison you’ve been bummed ever since you got here.”

“I just miss Tan mom.”

“Oh sweetie” she said sitting on the edge of my bed. “You like him don’t you. That’s why it hurts so much that he won’t call you anymore.”

“It’s not that he won’t call, it’s that he chose her over his supposed best friend. Mom, I can live without being more than friends with him but I can’t live without being his friend.”

“Peanut. You’re going to have to talk to him. Soon actually Jane just called me and they’re all on their way up. They’ll be here for dinner.”

“Seriously?”

“Yea, they always come up around this time you knew this was going to happen.”

“I know but I really don’t want to see him right now.”

“It’s going to be fine you’ll patch it up.”

“Yea, I’m not sure this time.”

“You two always work things out Addie.”

“We’ll see if we can this time.”

I tried my best to look like I hadn’t spent the past few days wallowing in my own self pity when he walked in I don’t know how well I did but I managed to avoid being around him for most of the evening. Until I was coming back from the bathroom.

“Addison.”

“Tanner.”

“You look good.”

“Thank you” I said walking around him.

“Adds.”

“I’m going to go spend more time with our families.”

“Addie.”

“No Tanner. This isn’t going to happen. I’m not really ready to talk to you” I said turning away walking quickly away from him. I sat on the couch taking the seat furthest from where Tanner had been.

He came back in seconds after me and sat there staring in my direction looking hurt, but there was no way that he felt as hurt as I do. The rest of the night was spent awkwardly, it’s never been this bad with our families but Tanner and I not speaking to each other was making everyone act weird.

“Tanner, we should talk, not that I want to but apparently this is ruining our family dynamics” I said following him into the kitchen.

“I wanted to earlier but you wouldn’t have it.”

“No, see you don’t get to make me feel bad. You don’t seem to remember but you chose Kelsey over me, your closest friend. So no Tanner. I can be as mad at you as I would like and for as long as I want.”

“Addie I’m sorry!”

“Really Tan, you have a great way of showing it.”

“Addison, I’m sorry but I can’t throw away a years relationship because of you.”

“Wow, you know I thought that we were closer than that Tanner but you know apparently a year long relationship with some random chick is slightly more important than a life long friendship. I’m glad you have your priorities in line” I said angrily.

“Addison that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh? Then what did you mean Tanner? Please enlighten me. Because that’s what it looks like from here.”

“Addie. You’re my closest friend you know everything about me.”

“You know I thought I did. But I didn’t think that you would ever pick someone over our friendship.”

“Adds.”

“If that’s all you can say Tanner. Then I don’t know why we’re talking.”

“Addie. . . I . . . you’re the greatest thing in my life. No one can take your place.”

“Funny way of showing it. . . “

“Addison shut up! Would you quit interrupting me? You always do that, I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry and you won’t let me.”

“Fine! Then say whatever the hell it is you want to say to me!”

“Addison, you know how much I want to be in the NHL and if I break up with her coach will bench me and I’m going to miss my chance.”

“Oh so this is all about your career! I’m glad you have a good excuse!”

“Really! You’re the one telling me to do what it takes to follow my dreams!”

“Not at the expense of your integrity! Damn Tan I didn’t realize you were that stupid! I had a little more faith in you than that.”

“Great! Now your twisting it so I look like an idiot. Addie you always manage to do that. . .”

“No Tanner I tell you the truth! I’ve always told you the truth even if that means saying that you’re a dumb ass!”

“Thank for your support Addison! You truly are a great friend.”

“Oh don’t you even tell me that I’m being a shitty friend Tanner! I didn’t make you choose. You did that. So screw you.”

“Oh come on Addie, I didn’t want to chose but I had to you know that.”

“You didn’t have to” I said trying to walk away only to have him grab onto my arms and push me back in front of him.

“Addison I have to do what I have to do in order for this to become a reality. Whatever it is.”

“Including dropping the one person who has always been there for you?”

“I just need my foot in the door of the NHL. So until then yea.”

“When did you become this person? What the hell happened to you Tanner?”

“I’m the same person I’ve always been.”

“Bull shit. Now let me go. You wanted me to leave so let me go.”

“Addie.”

“Let me go . . .” I said in a quiet voice unable to look at him. “You’re not the same person you’ve always been, you’re completely different. And I really hate this person.”

“Adds” he said looking down at me, pulling my face towards him so I was looking at him again.

“Tanner, stop. Your charm shit isn’t going to work on me. I’m not a dumb girl from your school Tan. I’ve known you my whole life don’t pull this ‘I’m charming bullshit’ on me! It doesn’t work!”

“Damn it Addison.”

“I’m done” I said shaking my head turning from him. “If this is who you are now then I want nothing to do with you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do. If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it. And you know that’s true” I said leaving him standing alone in the kitchen.

I walked through the living room and up to my room. I instantly threw myself on my bed and let out a frustrated breath. My best friend has turned into a person I don’t recognize anymore.