Watch You Take The Fall

“Hey, Zack, can I borrow your guitar?” I muttered, shoving the bassist’s shoulder slightly. Once again I’d woken up before everyone else; this time however, I hadn’t fallen out of my bunk. I took Zack’s sleepy grunt as approval and I walked away, shutting the curtain to his bunk. Deciding I’d get dressed before I did anything else, I tiptoed into the bathroom, still uncomfortable about waking anyone up. The sound of the trickling water from the tap was comforting, the only other noise aside from the snoring of the other occupants of the bus. I splashed my face with water and dried it off again, starting to put on my makeup. We had a day off today which was welcomed with open arms. I hadn’t been on the tour for very long but I was exhausted. It was clear that so was everyone else, it was rare to be able to get a decent night’s sleep on this bus. Someone was always awake and the noise from Alex and Kate’s bunk never helped. Sometimes it was arguing, the rest of the time it was… um… other stuff. Needless to say, none of us were very happy when either of those two things happened. You learn to treasure sleep and to punch anyone who interrupts it.
I finished my makeup and dressed slowly; revelling in the fact I actually had time to do what I wanted. Usually there’s someone outside the door, yelling at you to hurry up (most of the time it was Matt, the impatient little bugger.) I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and sighed. There wasn’t much I could do for my hair. Once we’d got back to the bus last night, I’d thrown it up into a bun, not bothering to care about what it’d be like today. I pulled the hair bobble from my mess of hair, tugging it through the knots it had wrapped itself around. Shaking my head, I let my hair fall into salty smelling waves around my face. For some reason, my fringe had stayed straight. Ah well, I wasn’t going to complain. I cast a glance over myself and made a mental note to pick up some dye stripper at the next place I could. I was getting sick of the colour and it was time for it to go. I checked myself over again before leaving the bathroom and grabbing Zack’s acoustic from where it was resting in the front lounge. Heading out of the bus, I shut the door gently behind me, wincing as I stepped into the already bright sunshine. It was only 9.30 in the morning but the sun was already beating down. I was shocked I acclimatised so fast, I usually hated the heat but for some reason I’d gotten used to it fast on Warped. There was one time when me and my family went on holiday to Italy for a fortnight, and I stayed inside for the entire time. Waving at a couple of people who were passing by, I sat myself down on a patch of grass outside the bus and told myself to ring Pat later. I smiled to myself as I pulled the guitar into my lap and twisted the tuning pegs, adjusting it so it was in tune. It had been too long since I’d sat down and made time to play, so I was making the most of having a day off. I shut my eyes and strummed a random chord, living for the music and the moment.
*
“Sierra?” My head snapped up at the sound of Rian’s voice. I’d been sitting outside for about 3 hours, and I could feel myself beginning to burn. Being the genius I am, I’d forgotten to use any sun cream before I’d left the bus. I looked up at him, squinting slightly as he was stood in the direct sunlight.
“That would be me.”
“How long’ve you been out here? Matt freaked when he went to wake you up and you weren’t there.”
“Since about 9.30 I think. I’m coming back inside in a minute; it’s too hot out here.” I grabbed onto Rian’s outstretched hand and pulled myself to my feet. Picking up Zack’s guitar, we walked back to the bus. I shivered slightly as the cool air inside the bus hit my bare skin. I handed off the guitar back to Zack, thanking him as I threw myself down into the only spare seat in the front lounge.
“I need Coffee.” Piped up Rian from the doorway. I watched several people roll their eyes; Rian’s coffee addiction irritated as many people as it entertained.
“Well there’s a Starbucks in town, off you go.” Replied Matt, not even looking up from his laptop.
“I don’t want to go by myself. I might get kidnapped or some shit, and then try playing shows.” He whined.
“Trust me Ri, I’m sure we could think of some solution.” Muttered Jack from his corner. I watched Rian narrow his eyes and open his mouth to say something.
“Right, that’s it. I’ll go with you Rian.” I said loudly, standing up from the sofa. I could tell that a fight was about to kick off, whether it was serious or not, I didn’t want to deal with that today and if that could be avoided by helping Rian fuel his Caffeine kick, then that’s what I’d do.
“You will? YAY!” He yelled, pulling me off the bus with him. I snatched up my batman wallet as we passed the counter where it was sat.
*
We stepped up to order at Starbucks, taking in the bustle of city life around us. It was at times like this that I sometimes felt out of my depth. I wasn’t accustomed to any of this; I grew up in a tiny town with no music scene. It was the complete opposite of my life now, moving between big cities constantly, always travelling with music. It sometimes made me feel like I’d lost myself, who I used to be. But then I realised that we’re all supposed to change. If you don’t change and move forwards, you may as well be going backwards. And who wants to go backwards? Nobody, that’s who.
We ordered and sat at a nearby table, waiting for our order.
“Hey, thanks for coming with me Sie.”
“S’alright Rian, I wanted to get out anyway. Well, I was already out but that’s beside the point.”
“About that, I heard you play. Well, more specifically, I heard you sing.” My face flushed, and I dropped my head into my hands. I didn’t mean to start singing; it was a reflex action I suppose.
“No, I don’t mean anything bad. You were fucking fantastic Sierra! I mean, I’d heard you on that EP but you’re even better live.”
“Seriously? You really think that?”
“I do indeed. Which leads me to my next question, will you sing with us tomorrow?”
“No.”
“No? That’s it? Just no? You didn’t even take time to think about that.”
“I’m over singing in front of people Ri, it’s not what I do anymore. I’ve learned from my past. It’s just not me, as much as I’d love it to be.”
“Well if you love it so much, why don’t you?” I looked up and met his confused stare. I sighed and pulled a hand through my hair, messing up my fringe and pushing it back into position.
“It’s complicated Rian. To me, singing represents a part of my life that’s gone. Not singing in general, singing for people, singing seriously. If I open up that book again, I don’t want to know what would happen. That’s why I keep it closed and my mouth shut. I still play music and sing, just not for people like I always wanted to. That time’s gone. Not to mention the fact I don’t want to get booed off the stage by angry fans when I fuck up one of your songs beyond repair. That’s not something I want to go through.” I smiled at him as we both stood up, collecting our orders and walking out of the noisy coffee shop.
“You wouldn’t get booed off, you’re too good for that, trust me. How did you even get into all the music you play and your production shit?”
“I was singing from a really early age, like 6 I think. One day I found an old guitar in our garage and started teaching myself. Looking back on it, I probably should have gone for lessons but I picked up so many bad habits there’d be no point. My best friend played drums, so she taught me that and one day I decided to teach myself bass, so I did. I went to college for music and technical arts which got me into recording. I recorded a couple of shitty songs for my course in my first year and began spending all my time in rented studios in the closest place that had them, that happened to be 2 hours away on a train. That’s where I recorded the EP. Some of the tracks got put onto the internet and somehow people from my college found out that it was me. After a while, every day became the same routine to me. I’d wake up in the morning, check my phone and MySpace, delete all the hateful messages from them, go to college, try and ignore the stupid twats in my class that tried to make my life hell based on judgements from my music, rip the “kill yourself” “emo” “stupid slut” “fat bitch” signs off my locker, spend my free time in my room trying to avoid looking at any of my instruments. Rinse and repeat as necessary.” I scuffed my vans along the pavement. I tried not to talk about any of that stuff, but some things needed to be said.
“Wow.” I narrowed my eyes slightly and looked up towards Rian.
“Wow?”
“Yeah, wow. Well, at least that sort of clears up why you don’t take any of our bullshit. Especially Jacks. You must’ve built up a thick skin.
“Really? A thick skin? I don’t think so. I just learned not to listen to anyone’s shit. If they’re not important to you and you don’t respect them, then their opinion shouldn’t affect you. Don’t mention this to anyone, yeah?” He nodded and I pulled him into a chemists. I browsed the shelves that were heavily piled with different colours of hair dye. Finding a bottle of dye stripper, I walked to the makeup section and chose an electric blue eyeliner and a new mascara. I browsed the rest of the shop and decided I didn’t need anything else, so I paid. Rian and I walked out of the chemists and into the baking heat again. Neither of us were talking but it wasn’t bad. The silence wasn’t awkward; it was the silence of two friends thinking. I was debating whether or not to dye my hair again once I’d stripped the black and blue from it or if I should just leave it at its natural colour. I had no idea what Rian was thinking but soon we had arrived back at the bus. I stopped him before he walked back onto the bus, though.
“Thanks for listening. I needed to get that off my chest. Just, don’t tell anyone, okay?” He nodded at me and we walked onto the bus together. There wasn’t anybody sitting in the front but there was a lot of yelling coming from the back lounge. I threw my stuff into my bunk as I passed and pulled open the sliding door to the back. Zack and Jack were battling it out on Halo, Alex was being eaten by Kate, Matt was still on his laptop and Vinny was yelling at Zack and Jack. Figuring everyone else was out; I sat down next to Jack and immediately started laughing. Zack was completely destroying him and it was hilarious to watch. Soon enough, he started yelling at Zack jokingly. I snatched the Xbox controller from him and set up another game against Zack.
“Uh, Sierra, you might not want to do that.”
“Yeah, Zack’s a fucking demon on Halo.” I glanced at Zack and turned to look at the people warning me off.
“Guys, I think I’m set. I grew up with a brother who’s five years older than me. I lived on fucking video games.”
“Fine, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.” And with that, the game began.
*
An hour later and Zack was well and truly beaten. I was currently dancing around the bus and screaming at the top of my lungs. Given that I’d only played Halo about 4 times before then, I’d say I did pretty well beating Zack every time.
“Well, as much fun as that was Zachary, I have to go shower.” I grinned at him and turned to the bathroom, laughing at the stuff the guys were yelling at him. I picked up the bottle of dye stripper and took it into the bathroom with me. I showered quickly and followed the instructions on the back of the bottle. Once I’d stripped it out, I decided I’d done enough damage to my hair for the day and left it to air dry. I stepped out of the bathroom and wandered back to where I was sat before.
“Shit, Sie, did you know your hair’s not black and blue anymore?”
“It’s not?! OH MY FUCKING GOD WHERE DID IT GO WHAT DO I DO OH SWEET BABY JESUS SOMEBODY HELP ME!” I screamed, tugging on the ends of my hair.
“I know it’s not Jack, I stripped it just now. I got bored of black and blue.”
“Oh. Well it looks nice.”
“Awh, thanks Jackary. Does anybody want food? I’m hungry. Can we get food? OH can we go to IHOP? I’ve never been there before and I really really want to. Guys, please?” I questioned, my mouth going a mile a minute. At that, everyone’s eyes widened.
“You’ve… you’ve never been to IHOP? Seriously?”
“Dude, how are you even alive?” Someone grabbed my hand and everyone stood up. I watched Jack and Vinny run off the bus screaming as I was being pulled along barefoot. Clearly nobody had noticed, or they didn’t give a shit, because the next thing I knew, I was being tugged along the pavement by a very impatient Matt.
“Hang on, hold up a second.” I said, tugging on his hand. Without warning him, I jumped on his back and wrapped my legs around his middle. “ONWARDS MY NOBLE STEED!” I screamed, pointing ahead to our group of friends who were all running off in front of us. I grinned as Matt started walking again, speeding up every time I yelled down his ear for that purpose. I was off to IHOP and no-one was getting in my way.