Watch You Take The Fall

A week later and everyone was packing to fly back to Baltimore. Everyone, that is, aside from me. I had no place in Baltimore, I was staying in this hotel until Kingdom come apparently. I sighed loudly at the prospect of living in the hotel, and dragged a hand through my hair. Just then, there was a knock on the door.
“It’s not locked.” I yelled to the door, falling backwards onto the bed behind me.
“Hey, Sie.” Mumbled Matt. He’d been quiet around me ever since the day I exploded at them and Alex made them leave. He, Jack, Zack and Rian had all apologised to me later on, but it didn’t make it any less odd that he practically refused to speak to me.
“Hey.” If he wasn’t talking, I wasn’t talking.
“So we’re leaving tonight.”
“I know.”
“And, um, I thought you’d want to know that we’re hitting the road again exactly two weeks from now. It’s a UK tour. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to but it would be great i-“
“Cut the sympathy bullshit for a second Flyzik, okay?”
“What?
“I am sick and tired of you all treating me like I’m going to fall apart at the seams if the wind so much breathes. Just come here.” He dragged his feet from the doorway to the bed, perching gingerly on the edge.
“I’m sor-“
“Shut up.” There was a moment of silence as he too lay down on the bed and shoved a pillow under his head.
“What am I supposed to do next, huh? I have no money, no home, no nothing in America. Everything I own is in England. I don’t have anywhere to live and I refuse to stay here longer than I have to, I hate it! Everything reminds me of…” I trailed off, painful memories clouding over my eyes. I shook my head to clear myself of them as best I could and carried on a little quieter.
“What the fuck am I going to do Flyzik? I’m supposed to be organised and have it all together. I’m not supposed to not have a clue about where I even live anymore. I just don’t know what to do.” Silence filled the room as we both desperately struggled to formulate some form of plan. I failed.
“Here’s what you’ll do.” At that, I sat up bolt straight and stared at my fellow tour manager, sprawled out on the bed with his arms locked behind his head.
“First, you fly back to Baltimore with us, we’ll pay for your ticket and you will not complain or bitch us out or I’ll make sure your bunk is between Zack and Jack next tour.” That was a scary prospect in itself, those two snored loud enough to wake the entire bus up even when they weren’t on it.
“Second, you stay with one of us until the UK tour. Third, we go on tour, we go to England, we book time off and go grab your shit, we box it up and send it back to whoever you’re staying with, we sell your house. Fourth, we check out houses or apartments in Baltimore or wherever you want to live. Fifth, we move you in. Sixth, it all works out fine.” Six bullet points that sum up the next few months of my life. It was petrifying. My entire life could fit into bullet points.
“I don’t think I can fault that, but are you sure about it? I mean, I could probably pay the ticket myself an-“
“Nope, we’re basically kidnapping you. You’re not paying.” And that was that. The next few hours were spent with frantically throwing the few belongings I had into suitcases and paying off my bill to the hotel for the time I’d spent wallowing in one of their rooms. I winced as I entered my PIN number and paid up the ridiculous amount of money. I’d been staying there for two weeks and had eaten room service most nights. The mini bar had been drained more times than I could count. It was all catching up to me now. I stowed my bags in Matt’s room, and told him to text me when I needed to be back. There was one last thing I needed to do before I left Danville.
---*---
It was an average day in terms of temperature, it wasn’t too hot and it wasn’t too cold. The birds were singing in the trees and all that shit. That really didn’t matter to me then.
I dropped to my knees in front of the grey gravestone, not caring about the soil up my legs. My shaking finger ran around the words engraved upon it, something that had taken me the longest to decide upon.
Pat James
1983 – 2008
Son, brother, friend
Gone too soon
Sleeping with angels.

Again, I didn’t cry. I shook, but I didn’t cry.
“I miss you so fucking much.” I whispered, head bowed.
“Why? I mean, just why did you feel the need?” I stopped for a minute, revelling in the silence around me, something I wouldn’t get a lot of from here on out.
“I’m leaving Danville tonight. Yeah, I’m flying to Baltimore. Matt said I can stay with him for as long as I want, which is sweet of him. I don’t really have anywhere else to go. We go back on tour in two weeks, back to the UK. Did I tell you I got made the permanent TM for All Time Low? It’s pretty cool. Stability. I’m selling the flat in Manchester. I’m moving back out here to Baltimore. Well, I may move to Baltimore. There’s so much of the US to get at, you know? Who knows where I’ll end up eventually. Hell, it may even be Canada. God knows how much you always wanted us to move there.” I forced out a dry chuckle and stayed stationary and quiet for a while. Eventually, my phone buzzed. Without checking, I knew it was Matt telling me he needed me to be back at the hotel lobby.
“I have to go now. I’ll be back though, promise. And d’you know what else? I’m going to make damn sure that everyone knows how brilliant you are. You’re the best big brother anyone could ever ask for. I love you bro.” I stood, wiped the dirt from my knees and left, meaning every single word I’d just said.
---*---
Have I ever mentioned how much I fucking hate airports? Because I really do. Screaming, crying children clinging desperately to the legs of their parents, anxious to see the planes. Screaming, yelling Jack Barakat’s, clinging desperately to the legs of his tour managers, anxious to annoy the fuck out of everyone in a two mile radius.
“Jack, seriously, get the fuck off.” Snapped Matt, swinging at the guitarist with his Mickey Mouse holdall.
“Noooooo, I love you Mattypoo.” I rolled my eyes at his childish behaviour. Usually I’d be all for it. Just not today.
“Well you don’t love me so get the fuck off of my leg.” The brown haired man-child blinked up at me a few times, giving me false hope that he’d let go. No such luck. Instead he held on tighter. I sent a pleading glance to Alex who was busy on the phone and guarding our suitcases. We were in the departures lounge, waiting to be boarded. Stupidly, we hadn’t thought to bring anything to entertain Jack in the half an hour wait between checking in and flying. How foolish of us.
“There is no way in hell I’m sitting next to him on the plane.” I muttered to Rain who was sat to the other side of me. He stopped taking photos of the spectacle for a second to laugh, before carrying on documenting my misery. Soon, I noticed Alex hang up the phone with a very pissed off expression on his face. Now that’s rare. I raised an eyebrow in his direction but he skilfully evaded it.
“Jack, dude, get off. I need coffee.” I whined impatiently. I needed caffeine and a sight that wasn’t the plane that would be taking me from Danville to a strange state where I may or may not end up living. Alex must have noticed my growing despair as he crouched down next to us and succeeded in pulling Jack from our ankles.
“Thank you so much, you are officially my hero.” Before he could have a chance to respond, a nasal voice came across the intercom.
“Flight 182 to Maryland now boarding, flight 182.”