Ascension

Chapter 15

Wilted Flower

Leda drummed the end of her pencil against the legal pad on her desk. Her eyes were roaming around the room. With all that had been going on, paperwork was the last thing she was worried about.

She was exhausted. At eleven weeks pregnant, all she wanted to do was sleep. And eat. And pee.

She groaned and pushed her rolling chair away from the desk, spinning around a couple times. The sudden ringing of her office phone made her stop.

"What?" she asked into the receiver.

"Sorry to bother you, miss Pascal," Her assistant said, "But there is a man insisting he talk to you."

Leda sighed, "Who is it?"

"A mister Oliver."

Leda's heart stopped. Her mouth dried out as she stared at the blinking lights of the phone.

"Miss Pascal, are you there?"

"Uh yeah, s-send him in."

She smoothed down her hair a little, and quickly fumbled to straighten the papers on her desk. What was he doing here?

The door opened and Reid Oliver walked in. She stood up a little straighter.

"H-hello Reid, what are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we could talk. May I sit down?" He gestured to one of the chairs opposite her desk.

"Sure, have a seat." She placed herself in her own chair and scooted until her legs were under the desk. He couldn't see her imaginary stomach, he couldn't.

"I came here to… this seemed a lot easier when I was rehearsing in the car," He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his gelled brown curls. Leda noticed he had gotten a haircut since… the last time they saw each other.

"Just say what you need to say. No judgments here," She said with a nervous smile.

"Okay." He leaned forward a little so he could rest his hands on the desk, "What happened between us a few months ago… at the time, I thought I felt something."

The look on her face must have tipped him off, because he quickly said, "But… but then I thought about Maryanne."

"How is Maryanne?" Leda asked quickly, not really caring but wanting to say something.

"She's great." He smiled a little at the thought of his wife, "we're um, we're trying to have a baby."

Well damn.

"Oh," Was all she said.

"Yeah. And I came here because… I don't know, closure?" He squinted a little.

"Closure?" she asked flatly, "For what? It was a fling, Reid, I'm not going to marry you or anything. If I did, you would probably cheat on me because you don't like to say you're married until the morning after."

Reid flinched, "I guess I deserved that."

"Trust me, you did."

"Leda, if you'll just let me explain…"

"Save it. I slept with you once. Just once. There is just no need for closure. So… go be with Maryanne."

He looked down a little, then back up to her. "We're moving." He said suddenly.

"What?"

"Maryanne and I, we're moving to be closer to her parents in Nebraska."

"Nebraska." She said flatly. Christ, this wasn't going to be easy.

"Yeah, and I don't think I want to go."

"You don't think you want to go?" What the hell was he getting at?

"Yeah… unless…" He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"Unless what? What the hell is going on? You're annoying the crap out of me!"

"Unless… there was a reason for me not to go." He finally met her gaze. Leda's heart plummeted into her stomach, alongside the baby.

He knew. Holy fucking hell, he knew.

Again, the look on her face tipped him off, because he said, "What happened between us… I felt something."

"You already said that. Reid, what the hell are you doing?" Her heart was still pounding, but she had calmed a little when she realized he didn't know.

"I'm saying…" He shrugged helplessly, "If there was a reason for me not to go to Nebraska…"

"Oh Jesus." She got it now. "Are you fucking serious? You come here and tell me that you and your wife are trying to have a… have a baby, and then you tell me that you don't want to be with her? Are you out of your damn mind?"

"I don't know!" He exclaimed, "Sleeping with you… it confused me, alright? On one hand, it made me realize that I love Maryanne, but on the other… I cant stop thinking about you, Leda."

Leda stared at him for a long time, her hand twisting into her pant leg. After almost a minute, she stood up and walked around the desk.

"There is no future for us, Reid." She walked over to the door and opened it. "You wanted closure; well I'm giving it to you. You belong in Nebraska with Maryanne."

He stood up and left without a word. Leda watched him leave, then sat back at her desk and sighed.

She wondered if the baby would get that cleft in his chin.

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"Should I get turkey or ham?" Mira asked, biting the bottom of her highlighter pen.

"You know, if you just got your meals Ensured, you wouldn't have this problem," Ryan said, not looking up from his guitar. He had been a little quiet since seeing his family two days ago. Faith had been great with him, talking to him and always trying to make him laugh.

"Ry, that stuff tastes like water that you soaked dirty pennies in," Faith said while drawing a little heart at the top of the paper and filling it in with her own highlighter.

"Hey, where's Tabitha? That nurse wanted to talk to her, like, ten minutes ago." Mira set her paper on her lap and looked around the room for her friend.

"Yeah that is weird," Faith commented.

"I'm sure she's fine." Again, Ryan didn't look up from his guitar, "The nurses are probably just talking to her about her progress or something."

Faith and Mira looked at each other nervously.

It was a full ten minutes later that Tabitha returned from talking to the nurse. She was pale. Well, paler. Her eyes were wide and distant. Overall, she looked horrified.

"Holy… are you okay?" Faith jumped up and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.

Tabitha shook her head a little, still staring off into space. "Can-can I talk to you, Faith?" She asked quietly.

"Of course." Faith took Tabitha's arm and gently led her to the distraught girl's room.

After she shut the door, she saw Tabitha sitting on her bed. Faith sat beside her.

"What's going on?"

"They're upping my calorie intake, again," Tabitha breathed. Faith's face turned to surprise. "They just upped it last week, why are they doing this to me?"

"It's okay, Tabby," Faith said gently.

"No, it's NOT!" She jumped off the bed and tangled her bony fingers into her dulled hair, "Don't you get it, Faith? This… this isn't going to be okay!"

"Tabitha, calm d-"

She was cut off when Tabitha's hands sunk into her hair again and she let out a small scream.

Faith, not knowing what to do, stood there in shock for a moment, until Tabitha sunk to her knees with a sob. Then Faith bolted out the door to get some help.

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"Adam?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm trying to read."

"I can see that."

"And it's kind of hard when you're kissing my neck."

Adam looked up from his wife's skin and pouted. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he read a few lines of the book in disinterest.

"Come on." He bumped her earlobe with the tip of his nose, "We've got the house to ourselves. Matt took Lucy to the mall and Marli's out."

"Trying to read," her tone wasn't as sturdy as it was before.

He slid his hands around her small waist and kissed below her ear. It really had been too long since they were alone together. Close to four months, probably.

Audrey sighed a little when his lips brushed under her ear again. She snapped the book closed and tossed it to the side.

"Screw it."

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For nearly a solid minute, Ryan and Mira could not stop laughing. They clutched their sides and bent over a little, but they just couldn't stop.

And they were only fifteen minutes into the Twilight movie.

Mira leaned heavily against her male friend and wiped her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "I don't know if I can make it through the whole movie without busting a gut!"

"I know! People actually pay to see this!"

Mira placed both her hands against her flat stomach and let out a dramatic gasp "That's impossible!" she said mockingly.

Ryan laughed harder, tears streaming down his face. Maybe it was a bit much, but they really hated Twilight.

"She had a better reaction then when I first felt my baby kick!" Mira commented, finally settling against his shoulder so they could finish the movie.

"Faith, you're not laughing," Ryan commented. "You've just been sitting there."

"Do you think Tabitha's alright?" Faith asked worriedly, "I mean, the nurses went in there a while ago."

Ryan and Mira looked at each other. Ryan closed the laptop and scooted over a little until his hips were touching Faith's.

"I'm sure she's fine. People have panic attacks all the time, remember?"

"Yeah," Mira agreed, "I had one last week."

"It wasn't a panic attack," Faith said quietly, turning her head to look at them, "She looked so… I don't even know. But it was bad. I think something is really wrong."

None of them could answer, a nurse suddenly walked out of Tabitha's room. Faith jumped off the couch and ran after her.

"How is she? Is she okay?"

The nurse hugged her clipboard to her chest and eyed Faith up and down, "We've given her something to calm her down. She had a pretty bad attack, but she should be okay now."

As the nurse walked away, Faith couldn't help the cold, stone-like feeling in her stomach.

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Matt brought his niece up higher o his shoulder while he flipped through shirts on the clothing rack. His dad had practically forced him to babysit Lucy today, not that he minded.

He pulled a yellow shirt out of the rack and held it up. "What do you think?" He asked the baby.

Lucy's lips moved in a series of little baby garbles, she only stopped when she stuffed two of her tiny fingers in her mouth and began gumming them.

He put it back, "Yeah, yellow's not really me color." He brought his other big hand around so he could hold her in front of his face. "Who's my cute little fashion critic?" She kicked her feet a little, eyes wandering around the dimly lit store.

"Okay short stuff," He said, scanning the line of women's items nervously, "What should Uncle Matt get Jamie? She needs some cheering up."

Lucy, of course, didn't know what he was saying, but she could feel his neck vibrating against her forehead with his words. The movements made her squeal in excitement. He smiled a little.

"What can I get a girl that says 'sorry you lost your job'?" He wondered aloud. Jiggling the little girl, he asked, "What would you get her?"

She responded by spitting up on his shirt.

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"Faith?" A small voice said from the doorway. Faith looked up from her book to see Tabitha standing there.

"Tabitha." Faith set her book to the side and quickly sat up. "Where have you been?"

"They gave me something… knocked me out." Tabitha ran her hand through her hair and bit her lip. "Can I come in?"

"Sure. Yeah, come on in."

Tabitha walked into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Faith noticed she wasn't in her pajamas, despite the fact that it was the time they were all supposed to be in bed.

"What's on your mind?" Faith asked, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"I… just wanted to say thank you," Tabitha said quietly. Her thin fingers plucked absently at the fabric of Faith's blanket.

Faith frowned, "For what?"

"just… for being my friend. For making me smile and laugh, and… and just, thank you."

"Your welcome." Faith was still confused. "Tabby, what's going on? You're acting like we're never going to see each other again."

Tabitha raked her fingers through her hair again and looked down. "I just came here to thank you."

"Tab," Faith said sternly, "I know things look really bad, but they'll get better, I promise."

Tabitha gave her a weak smile and nodded her head.

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"What's going on?" Mira asked drowsily. It was early in the morning, earlier than they were supposed to be up. Everyone in the room looked exhausted. A lot of the patients had trouble sleeping, so they were put on drugs to make them sleep, and waking up this early was hard for them.

"I don't know," Ryan said with a yawn, "they just came in my room and told me there was an emergency meeting." He nudged Faith, who had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

"You think I'd be used to waking up early," Mira commented, resting her head on his other shoulder.

"Here comes Carla." Ryan immediately stood up, causing the two girls on his shoulders to fall in the middle and bang their heads together. They both yelped in pain and rubbed the sore spots.

Dr. Carla Kientzle stood in front of the room, "May I have everyone's attention?" She called. The talking quickly turned into quiet murmurs, then silence. "Thank you."

Carla took a deep breath, "I have some bad new; last night, Tabitha Verticheli ran away."

The murmurs returned, countless questions being fired into the air. Mira noticed Faith completely tense up beside her. When Mira turned to look at her, she saw the horrified look on her face. Ryan closed his eyes and exhaled. This wasn't good.

"If anyone has any information about her whereabouts, we ask you to come forth now and tell us."

No one moved. Faith gripped onto Ryan's arm and breathed heavily.

"If anyone thinks of anything, please tell us." Carla's profession look wavered momentarily, but she quickly brought it back. "You may now go back to bed. Emergency counseling sessions will be in place today for anyone who wants to talk about this."

Ryan nudged Faith when he realized that Carla was walking toward them. Faith pulled her hands off his arm and took a few steps forward.

"Faith, I know Tabitha spoke to you last night. Did she say anything?"

"N-no," Faith stuttered, "She-she was upset but… god, I told her everything would be alright!" Faith rubbed her hand over her eyes to hold back the tears.

"It's not your fault, Faith," Carla said sternly. "Just please tell us if you think of anything that might help."

"I-I will."

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"Heads up!"

Seth looked up just in time for the basketball to hit him smack in the face. It knocked him back on his ass.

Brian came jogging up to him, "dude, what's going on with you?" He asked, holding a hand out. Seth took it and let his friend pull him to his feet.

"I'm tired, man." Seth yawned.

Brian tucked the ball under his arm and wiped the sweat from his eyes. "I thought your boss gave you lesser hours."

"He did, but Lucy is worse than ever. I thought seeing Mira a few days ago would make her feel better, but she is crying all the time."

"Have you talked to Mira?"

"Not since I saw her a couple days. But Lucy's just so unhappy all the time."

Brian let out a low whistle, "See, that's why I don't want kids. They cry, poop, sleep, and eat." He tossed the ball over his shoulder; it went right through the hoop, swishing the net.

Seth rolled his eyes, "show off."

"You know it, white boy. Now come on, best two out of three."

"Nah, I'm gonna go home and sleep."

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"How can someone even escape from this place?" Mira asked during lunch. Faith and Ryan sat across from her with their own meals, but they weren't eating very much. Neither was Mira.

"Easier than one would think," Ryan answered dryly.

Their therapy sessions that morning had been painful. Several hours' worth of questions about how they were feeling. None of them really knew how they felt. They were basically numb in shock.

"I'm sure they'll find her. She'll be fine," Mira said, taking a bite of pasta.

Faith looked up from her crossed arms resting on the table, "They might not," She said slowly.

Mira shrugged a little, "It'll work out. I mean," she seemed to be thinking carefully about what she was saying, "Tabitha couldn't have gotten very far."

"But she might not be okay," Faith pointed out.

Mira shrugged again and continued picking at her food, "How do you think they come up with these things to feed us?" She asked randomly.

Faith looked at Ryan with a strange expression. Ryan just ignored it. He knew about people like Mira. The possibility of death and real hardships weren't real in her world.

After lunch, Mira walked to common room, arms tight at her side. It was always hard to not reach up and count her ribs after every meal. She didn't even know that was a habit until one of the nurses had pointed it out her first day there.

"Mira?"

Speak of the devil.

"Yeah?" She asked the nurse.

"You have a visitor. She's not someone on the list, so I can turn her away if you'd like." The nurses knew that after mealtimes were the most vulnerable times for the patients, so visitors were usually turned away.

"Who is it?"

"Paige Taylor."

Mira's jaw dropped a little. She hadn't seen Paige since the pride parade, and even then Mira had been in such a bad place that they had barely spoken. Truth be told, her friendships with a lot of people from her old group had been considerably strained.

She thought for a moment if seeing Paige would be the best thing right now. Last time a friend had visited, she had ended up yelling at her. But Paige wasn't Jamie.

"Yeah, sure, I'll see her," Mira said.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Alright then. I'll go get her." The nurse smiled at her and walked out of the room later.

Mira stood in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around herself as the nurse probably explained the rules to Paige. When Paige shyly walked into the room, Mira held back a groan. Did she have to wear that?

Paige wore a ridiculously short tennis dress. The material was shockingly white against her tan skin. Everyone's heads turned to look at her as she walked in. over her shoulder was a periwinkle duffle bag. Her lean, long legs and perky breasts were enough to make every person green with envy.

Her green-gold speckled eyes did a quick sweep of the area before landing on her friend. Mira expected her to squeal, to throw her arms around her in a girlish flourish.

Instead, she timidly approached her, as if walking up to a startled horse. When she was a couple of feet away, Paige gave her a weak smile.

"Hey," She greeted quietly.

"Hey," Mira replied.

"It's… really good to see you," Paige said honestly.

Mira tightened her arms around herself, "You too."

"Listen, I know you told Seth to tell all of us to stay away but… I had to see you," Paige admitted with a small smile, "I had to make sure you were okay."

"I'm doing alright."

"Hey Mira." Ryan walked up beside Mira, eyeing her friend. "Visitor?" He took a small step closer to Mira, protectively.

"Ryan, this is Paige. Paige, Ryan."

"Hi," Paige said with a quick smile. She looked back to Mira, "Um, not to be rude, but is there anywhere we can talk privately."

"Yeah, we can go to my room." She started to lead her friend in the general direction of her room, when Ryan caught her hand in his.

He pulled her in a little and whispered, "I'll tell you if we hear anything about Tabitha."

Mira nodded, "Thanks, Ry."

Side by side, the two girls walked toward Mira's room. Paige paused in the doorway and looked around.

"This is… it?" She asked quietly.

"For now," Mira said, sitting on the bed, "Now will you quit acting like I have twelve hours to live or something?"

"Sorry," Paige said quickly, "It's just weird that you are the one stuck in this place." She shrugged, "But then again, it was weird to think of you with a baby."

Mira giggled and patted the spot on the bed next to her. Paige perched herself in the spot, setting her large duffel bag beside her.

The girls sat there in silence for a moment. Then Paige spoke, "Would, like, it be okay if I gave you a hug?"

Mira stared at her. "I've know you for thirteen years, Paigie, and you have never asked to give me a hug."

"I just don't wanna…" Paige trailed off, looking uncharacteristically nervous and at a loss for words.

"Break me?" Mira asked with an amused smile, "You won't break me, Paige. I pushed a watermelon through my body four months ago; I'm a lot sturdier than you think."

"So… Hug?"

"Hug."

They leaned forward and embraced tightly, chins resting on the other's shoulder.

"I miss you, Mira," Paige whispered, her hand running up and down Mira's partially jutting spine, "we all do."

"I miss you too," She said softly.

They pulled apart and giggled a little. Paige tugged her obscenely short dress down a little, but it still only covered half her thighs.

Mira rolled her eyes, "Why the hell are you wearing that thing?"

Paige blushed a little, "I had a tennis game today."

"And you didn't have time to go home and change?"

"I wanted to see you; I didn't know everyone would give me the death stare."

"Why didn't Sara come with you?" Mira asked curiously.

Paige's face suddenly turned sour, her nose scrunched up and her eyes narrowed, "She's out with that boyfriend of hers."

"You really don't like Paul, do you?"

"I have nothing against him," Paige said, crossing her arms, "I just don't think he's right for Sara."

"He's tall, adorable, loves musical theater, and knows Spanish. Where is the flaw?"

Paige glared at her. "Look what I brought you!" She jiggled the zipper of the duffel bag open and reached inside. She withdrew what appeared to be a rainbow colored blanket. She reached in again and pulled out several cherry red throw pillows.

"Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"What are those?"

"You need some freaking color in this room. Move." She pushed Mira off the bed and threw the blanket and pillows in her place.

Along with the bed items, Paige produced a small, fuzzy pink rug to put in front of the dresser, a purple and blue bead curtain that she hung over the door, and a yellow alarm clock for the bedside table.

Mira stood there stunned. With just a few items, Paige had added an entirely new look to this dreary room.

Finally, Paige brought out a hot pink plastic shower caddy filled with bright colored shampoos, conditioners, and soaps, and an armful of colorful items to place around the sink. She looked around the room, "Bathroom?"

"I need to get the key from the nurses' station."

"They lock your bathroom?" she asked in horror. "But… what if you're on your period or have an accident?"

"They monitor when we're in there too."

"Oh, I'm so sor-"

"Don't," She interrupted, "Please don't say it. I already know."

Paige set the bathroom items on the bed and gave Mira her best smile, "You can just put these in the bathroom later. There's some new soap and toothpaste and face washing stuff in there. Oh!" She dug through her bag once more. Mira was really wondering how much stuff she could fit in there, "I brought some new towels and wash clothes! There in here somewhere…"

"Did you steal a bag from Mary Poppins or something?" Mira asked incredulously. Paige just smirked.

"You'll never know." She tugged the towels free, "Here they are." One was light blue and the other was mauve.

"You're starting to scare me, Paige."

"I just wanted to, you know; help cheer you up a little."

"Thanks." Mira smiled appreciatively. She looked at all the new decorations, "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Paige sat back on the bed beside the bathroom items and gave her a sad smile. "Can-can I tell you something?"

Mira crossed her legs and nodded.

"I… I knew."

"You knew what?"

"I knew that there was something going on with you."

Mira's mouth went dry. "What?" She rasped.

Now Paige looked a little ashamed, "I-I saw you at the Fourth of July picnic and you… you looked so lost." Paige met Mira's wide eyed gaze, and then looked back down at the wrapped bar of soap she had been playing with. "And I knew that you looked too thin for just having a baby. But I… I didn't say anything. I figured it was all in my head. Because there was no way that you would be hurting yourself.

Then a month later, at the pride parade, I took one look at you and I knew it had to be true."

"You didn't say anything," Mira said quietly.

"I didn't know what to say. I figured I would just talk to you after the parade, but…"

"But I fainted and went home."

"Yeah. Mira, if I had any idea that you would have ended up in a hospital, I would have said something, I swear."

"I believe you," Mira whispered. Maybe at a different time, Mira would have been mad, but she realized that what happened to her was no one's fault but her own. It was her mess and she needed to be the one to fix it.

"Next thing I know," Paige continued, "Seth's calling me and telling me that you had an eating disorder and were being admitted to the hospital. He told us that you didn't want any of us to see you."

"My parents decided that not me," Mira admitted. "My parents thought it would be best if I didn't have anyone see me like… this." She gestured to her body.

Paige reached out and gripped her hand to stop her from gesturing, "Mira, you are still beautiful. I thought you were beautiful when you were eight months pregnant, and you're still beautiful when you look like this."

Mira smiled, touched by Paige's confession.

Paige smiled back and squeezed Mira's hand. "You're my best friend. You always will be. And I love you no matter what you look like."

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She had an idea to where she was going, but wasn't sure if it was the right place to go. That might be the first place they would look for her.

She'd had her plan in her head for a long time; she just had no real motivation to do it.

Between the hours of two and three in the morning, there was a shift change with the nurses. That was when security was at its lowest. So she had sixty minutes to make her escape.

After what felt like an eternity of running, she made it to the destination; the graveyard. She knew where they were. She had been here many times.

There was a pretty steep hill, and her legs burned. There was an ache in her chest, something that was getting harder and harder to ignore. It made her feel like every single pump of her rapidly beating heart was getting harder.

She wanted to stop, to sit and catch her breath. In her condition, she couldn't just run off like that. But she didn't. She dragged herself up that hill and by the time she reached the top, her lungs were searing.

The girl barely made it two steps before the first strike of pain hit her. She fell to her knees, dizzy.

Her breaths were uneven, and she panicked when she realized she couldn't get them under control no matter how hard she tried.

Before she realized what was happening, she was vomiting. Vomiting harder than she had in her life. Her stomach was practically empty, and whatever was left came spewing out of her and into the grass below. Dry heaving violently, she dropped to the ground, landing in her own sick.

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"Mira."

Paige and Mira started when Carla's voice called from the doorway. The doctor moved the beaded curtain out of the way and said, "Mira, there is a meeting in the common room. Young lady," She looked at Paige, "I'm afraid you're going to have to leave."

Paige frowned, "what's going on?"

"I can't discuss this. Mira come out to the common room now."

Mira felt a hard weight land in her chest when she realized that this probably meant something bad. She stood up off the bed and Paige followed.

"I'll come visit you again, I promise," Paige said, hugging her friend as tightly as she could.

"Now, Mira," Carla said urgently, walking down the hall. Paige picked up her now almost empty duffel bag and the girls followed her.

Once Paige was out of sight, Mira walked over to Faith and Ryan, who looked as confused and worried as she was.

Before she could ask her friends what was going on, Carla spoke.

"I'm afraid… that I have terrible news."

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Breathing was now the hardest thing she had ever done. Her lungs didn't want to fill with air. Her mind was clouding, thoughts muddled together.

Deep inside, she knew what was happening.

Keeping her eyes open was getting harder and harder. Her heartbeat was faint, she could barely feel it.

The wet vomit had soaked through her clothes, but she couldn't feel it. She really couldn't feel anything. It was like her body wasn't attached to her brain.

Suddenly, she felt a type of warmth spread through her body. A feeling of peaceful release.

Then everything faded away.

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