Last Train Home

I was sitting on the couch in Johnny’s dressing room with Gena and we were just making small talk about clothes, the guys and other stuff. I really liked Gena, she had become my only girlfriend in the past few weeks and she was just generally awesome plus, Zacky absolutely adored her.

It was the last night of the tour and after this all of the guys plus Gena were going to be staying with me at my house until they had to start work on the next album.

Needless to say, Matt and I were still barely talking to each other but at least he hadn’t hit me again. The first few shows after the whole ordeal, I’d spent the whole time skimming past all the questions about the massive bruise he’d left on my cheek but at least I’d had the pleasure of watching him flinch every time he saw it.

Gena and I were still talking when I began to hear two people, who were engaged in a hushed argument, approaching the dressing room.

“You need to apologize.”
“I know that Syn but how do I get her to listen?”
“Uh, you approach her NOW.”
“She barely acknowledges me, she might just walk away.”
“Well Matt, you won’t know until you try.”
“But…”

Matt didn’t get a chance to protest even further because Brian had just shoved him into Johnny’s dressing room. He tried to leave when he saw me but Syn was blocking the door so he had no other option than to come over to where Gena and me were sitting.

“Natalie. Can I talk to you for a second? Alone.”
“Sure, why not. As long as you’re not planning on hitting me again.”

I laughed a little, just to lighten the mood, but nobody else looked at all amused and Brian shot me a warning glance that was heavily implied with a ‘play nice’ so I shrugged and held my hand out for Matt to help me up, which he did before leading me over to a spare dressing room just across the hall. I’d already noticed out of the corner of my eye, Johnny, Zacky, Matt, Jason and Arin rushing into Johnny’s dressing room.

Matt sat down in one of the many chair and motioned for me to do the same. We’d been gone maybe two seconds but already I could hear all of our friends talking about us. I laughed at their indiscrete gossiping like old women.

“What’s so funny?” Matt asked, a sad smile on his face.
“Just the way that news spreads like wildfire round here.”

I smiled right back at him but being Matt, he saw right through it and frowned. We may not be anywhere near as close as before, he could still read me like an open book and there was no doubt in my mind that he always would.

“Look, Natalie, I’m so sorry about the other night. I’d give you an excuse, a reason for my actions, but there isn’t one. I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking but I still shouldn’t have done or said any of it. It’s NOT your fault that Jimmy’s gone, I don’t know why I blamed it on you, I guess I was just trying to find SOMEONE to blame and you were there. I’m sorry Natalie.”

I thought about his apology for a minute. It was definitely heartfelt and wordy. I knew that he meant every word of it; I knew that he’d stopped drinking as well and to be honest I had missed him more than anything so I decided to accept it and force the two of us to move on from it.

“It’s okay Matt. I understand, When Oli died I felt the same way.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief and he leant forward to give me a hug that I gratefully accepted. As soon as I felt his perfectly sculpted arms wrap around me, I melted into his warm embrace. For the first time in over three years I felt safe and protected again. There wasn’t a lot that could ruin this moment, except for the fact that I was still waiting for an apology for what he did to me three years ago but I was DEFINITELY not going to be the one to bring it up now.