But I'm a Guitarist!

“Frank!”

I felt like I was deep under water, able to breathe, but with someone calling my name from the surface. It took too much energy to reply though. All I wanted to do is float there, somewhere between the ground and the surface, but the person just was relentless, still calling my name.

“Frank!” With that, there were a few prods to my side and I finally opened my eyes. They were crusty and it took me a minute to register where I was. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before noticing that it was Eric shaking me. “You need to get up. Breakfast is in fifteen minutes.” He left, clearly still bitter about the night before.

The night before.

I felt so bad. I just wanted to pull my duvet over my head and fall asleep until the day came to an end. Until after breakfast, after all the inevitable dirty looks, after Family Therapy, and--

Family Therapy.

This was when life decided to completely shit on me and I asked the question, "Why?!" Is there ever any rhyme or reason to the constant shitting on? It just seemed like one right after another and I couldn’t get clean. I sighed and got up, dressing in a daze.

I adjusted my tie one last time before heading to the cafeteria. I walked down the stairs and got the food I probably wouldn't eat. I started walking to the table where I usually sat, only my usual seat was occupied already. I moved to sit in another seat but someone shoved in front of me without even a small “Excuse me.”

I stood there; no one looking at me. Even Gerard, whom I thought I had gotten closer to, was sitting with his head down, nearly drowning in the fucking milk in his bowl of cereal. And then I noticed something.

Where's Jasmine?

No, no, no, no, no. She couldn’t… they didn’t send her home… she wasn’t allowed… what the fuck did I do?

My tray dropped to the ground and everyone finally turned to look at me.

I couldn't believe I'd just made someone homeless. I cost someone their family, maybe even their friends. Hell, the friends she had there probably won't ever see her again. Why the fuck did I scream? She’d still be there, dreading family therapy like the rest of us, if I hadn't.

I shook my head furiously as I backed out of the room, away from all the people that I thought I had started making friends with. I just ran back to my room. There was nothing I could do but hide away from everyone and ignore the awkward glances.

I might have been acting like a drama queen but she was a real person. It didn’t matter that her and Michi were--are--in love, it didn’t matter that they're both girls. She didn’t deserve to be in the middle of nowhere with no place to go. No, that should have been me. No one could change my mind; I deserved to be her right then, with no place to go.

**

I poked my head into Ms. Mackenzie’s office, feeling like a complete stranger as I met the faces of my parents. I was in the right room, at least. I took a seat, the one right between them. They wouldn’t look at me though. It didn’t even seem like they wanted to be here.

Ms. Mackenzie started talking to my parents, but most of it I drowned out. I just didn’t want to hear it and for some reason, I suddenly felt really emotional, seeing their faces. They didn’t give a shit about me. No warm, welcoming hug or a kiss on the cheek. We never were like that, but I haven’t seen them for about a week. It seemed like they didn’t care where the hell they put me, I felt like they were just trying to get rid of me. And it really was sad, that I could definitely see them telling me, their only child, that I wouldn’t be welcomed back home if I were like Jasmine and got caught doing what she had. It’s just really sad, their view on life.

But even more sad than two people believing that love has rules, is that I will always believe Gerard Way over them. He could tell me how right something is, even when people say it's wrong and I’d believe him. I believed that it doesn’t matter who you love and no amount of bullshit they fed me, I was never going to forget that. Gerard Way was right.

The only trick is not getting caught.

“Frank?” Ms. Mackenzie snapped me out of it with her sickly fake smile. I grunted a small huh? “I was just informing your parents on the mishap that occurred last night.”

I nodded my head, showing them that I understood. They knew I'd called Jasmine and Michi out, but they didn’t know that it was an accident. I looked up at my parents. First at my dad, who had a small disgusted face from the aftermath of the story and then at my mother who had a small approving smile as she looked back at me.

I felt sick.

I took a deep breath, trying to settle whatever was making my stomach act up and suffered through the rest of the meeting.

Finally it was over, though. One full hour of nothing but crap. Ms. Mackenzie said good bye and dismissed me to go back to my room. I walked out the door to meet Gerard and who I guessed were his parents and a small boy with them, looking only a few years younger than Gerard; maybe my age?

Gerard didn’t acknowledge me so I didn’t say anything, I just looked at him as I passed, begging for some sort of eye contact. But no.

I was about to turn from the hallway when I heard my name shouted. I turn around to hear Ms. Mackenzie tell me, “I forgot, I have something for you!” I sighed and started to walk back to her office. As soon as I saw the white body of my guitar though, I broke out into a run.

It was here.

The only thing that ever understood me. I was finally reunited with it. I imagined my parents brought it with them. I felt like the hallway was really long and I admit it, when I finally got to the door I dropped to my knees, taking it out of the evil lady's fingers, and I ran my hands all the way down the tuning pegs, down its neck, to its body, and I hugged it for dear life. They had no idea what this guitar meant to me.

“For your good behavior,” Ms. Mackenzie explained. I tried to ignore her words, though. I grabbed the guitar and the case that my parents had brought it in and I went up to my room, hopefully to spend some quality time with it.

I passed Gerard again, only this time he gave me a slight smile. I smiled back--no one could ruin this for me. I had my baby in my hand. They may have been able to take a lot of things away from me, but music and I will always find our way back together.