Counting on Forever

July 17th, my date of birth had come at last, not that it made a difference to whether, I was sixteen or seventeen. My thoughts continued to wonder what the day would bring. With no friends and hardly any living relatives, the day predicted just me and my father. It didn't bother me; I have no friends because I don't need them. Well I didn't before; I had Landon, now I was on my own. He would be back if I called. He was a loyal friend. While I was in Florida the past year, he wrote me almost every day. But he never received any letters in return. Forgiving him was something I didn't see in my future. “Gracie? Honey? Are you awake?" My father's knock interrupted my self-analyzation.

"Yeah, c'mon in," My father barged in with a small chocolate cake with candles sticking out of it in odd angles.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birth-" he began sing.

I cut in "Thanks dad. But you don't really have to sing anymore. I'm seventeen now, remember?"

He smiled back at me. "I know, I know. Just open your present!" His grin extended even wider and handed me a pink bag. Inside was a thin white cardigan, I imagine this was something my mother would have told him to get me.

"Thanks Dad, I appreciated it." I forced a smile back.

"What's wrong, Gracie?" He stared into my eyes, his face full of parental concern.

"I'm fine, Dad. I just miss Mom, that's all," I stared back into to his eyes hoping it reassured him."So what are we doing today?" Changing the subject seemed like the best thing to do.

"I don't know anything you want," His expression returned to its normal carefree.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go out alone today," I didn't meet his eyes afraid of the sorrow they would bring.
“Oh, sure. You go ahead. I'll be here when you get back." he his tone wasn't to broken up.

After the short chat with my dad, I showered and pulled out the shorts my grandma got me and pulled a tank over my head. I looked through my countless amounts of bracelets and put on three or four bracelets on each wrist and headed out the door, avoiding another conversation with my father.

Driving down the familiar roads of my little hometown felt foreign. These roads were home to many of my memories growing up here but that felt like a lifetime ago. It was barely a year ago when Landon and I sat in his car for hours, while he attempted to teach me how to drive. His quick instincts of pulling on the emergency brake saved us from heading straight into a canal. Our friendship would never be the same again, since he had betrayed me. I pushed those negative thoughts out and focused on the road, I was nearing my destination.
I hopped out of the pick-up and began to roam through the headstones and name plates. My mother’s was just beyond the oldest oak tree in town. I sat down beside hers.

"Hey Mom, it's me. Sorry I hadn't come by sooner but I was waiting until today." I sighed. Can she really here me? I questioned. "I miss you," As soon as the words left my lips the tears began to pour out. The pain pounding in my chest like a reopened flesh wound. My throat closed with and the burning sensation grew stronger. "I'm sorry, Mom." I choked in between sobs.

The minutes began to blur into hours as I cried by my mother's remains and the sun began to descend into the horizon. I pulled myself together before I got home. Worry was high on my father's list of emotions these days.

I drove into the dirt driveway and ran inside, searching each room for my dad.

"Daddy?" I finally called out.

"Back here!" he shouted from the porch. I walked out to see him sitting on our swinging bench with a beer in his hand. "This was your mother's favorite part of the house," he sighed then tapped the seat next to him. He swung his arms around me as I sat. "I miss her, too." he revealed.

"I know, Daddy. I know," my head fit perfectly in his arm.

"There's something else I want you to have." he said slowly, as he pulled out a small black box.

"Dad, you didn't have to go get something expensive," I said as I opened the little box to a familiar silver plain ring.

"It was you're mother's. I gave it to her as a promise ring when we had been together for a year. Before we were married. I couldn't afford a diamond, but I managed to get it engraved." he added. Peyton & Elizabeth forever read in the interior of the ring.

"It's beautiful," I marveled at the small piece of metal. He took it out of my hand and slipped it onto my finger.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me," a smile crept on my face. Then there was a knock at the front door.

"I'll get it," my father volunteered and shuffled to the front door. "Look who's here," he smiled while gesturing towards Landon.

"Why'd you let him in?!" I shot up from the bench. Pity showed on my dad's face.

"I couldn't leave him out there. That's rude." My father defended himself.

"I don't care!" I argued.

Landon jumped in with a crooked smile. "I'm right here,"

"I'll just leave you two alone," Peyton whispered and ran through the back door before I could object. My arms crossed before me as the rest of my body melted into the bench.

"So how does it feel being home again?" Landon took the empty seat on the bench.

"Fine" I quietly replied. "Why are you here, Landon?" I spat out.

"I would never miss my best friend’s birthday," he stared into me with his gorgeous green eyes full of sincerity. I broke the stare and returned to gazing at the sun's slow process of dipping into the horizon.

"I guess I didn't make it clear. We aren't friends anymore Landon. I don't want to be your friend." I informed him of my feelings.

"I understand. But you can't make me stop trying to be with you," I glanced at his utterly beautiful facial structure. This time his eyes displayed defiance. I quickly looked away before he made me forget what I was fighting for.

"What do you want from me?" I whispered.

"To be friends again," he placed his warm gentle hand on mine.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that," I croaked.

"Maybe not now. But one day you will," he stood up and placed a medium size box with purple wrapping paper on the seat beside me and walked off the porch into the darkness of the trees. I stared after him until the forest swallowed him. After sitting out there for hours, I remembered the present he gave me. With Landon's present in one hand and the ring in the other, I returned inside. My body dragged itself up the stairs into my room and jumped on the bed. What could have Landon given me? He hasn't seen me in a year; he doesn't even know me anymore. Friends? Why? It broke my heart when he told my father. I just couldn't bear to go through that again. It was his fault, I couldn't be there for my dad. I will never forgive him for that. And besides if we are friends again the feelings might come back. I don't want them back, I'm fine without them. Right? With that bit of doubt I yanked the present off my bed and shoved it into the back of my closet to collect dust.