Punching in a Dream
Onze
I stared at Grayson the entire night, his chest moved up & down to his breathing cycle. Something wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen this fast. He said he loved me, out loud. My heart skipped a few beats when he replayed in my mind. I bit my lip. My hair lay in my face, my eyes were glues over his eye lids. What makes a person love another? He doesn't know me yet. It is one thing to intensly make out with someone in their car, & another to make love in their apartment. I sighed silently, playing everything over in my mind. Someone was in my house, I over looked it because I believed that I was in love with Grayson, my best friend wants to move in right when I left Detroit because of Daddy, Gabe has OCD; things don't really seem like they've changed. Now that I think about it; Daddy just might have been the one who was in my new house.
But how? How would he have known where I was? Or Pieper told out of nerve or anxiety? So many things could have happend for him to find out. Maybe Grayson was involved, but why? How? He wouldn't. Would he?
I pulled myself out of the dark haze; what kind of person would I be to point fingers at someone when I don't have solid evidence? I turned over on my back, taking my eyes off Grayson. I stared at the fan on the ceiling. I miss Pieper, I miss my Mummy. I miss her gracious words of wisdom, I miss her gentle touch. I miss how she'd sing to me when everything was for the worse. Tears swelled in my eyes, I bit my lip, holding in screams of depression. I looked back at Grayson; what happens when he wakes up & finds me here? Will he still love me like he did 3 hours ago? Will he want me to leave?
No. No he wouldn't. Gabe told me he wasn't like that. Maybe Gabe was in on it?
What is wrong with me? Grayson wouldn't do that to me, Gabe said so, Grayson said so, & I say so. I made a good choice by leaving Detroit & opening myself up to new people. This isn't a mistake; this is what I want. I got up to go to the bathroom, when I noticed the condom on the floor. It was the one we used. It was broken.
I stared at it, not seeing it. I stood in shock, I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to react. The only thing I could do; was pray to fucking God that I wasn't pregnent. & hope that Grayson would NOT flip the fuck out. Because then again, it is partly his fault.
I sat back down on the bed, the creeking noise was loud & annoying. I looked back at Grayson, still no movement. This night could last forever. The best thing to do, is go back to sleep, act like you find it in the morning, & deal with it then. I laid back down & cuddled into Grayson's side. I wrapped us back in the blanket & closed my eyes. All I need, is a miracle.
But how? How would he have known where I was? Or Pieper told out of nerve or anxiety? So many things could have happend for him to find out. Maybe Grayson was involved, but why? How? He wouldn't. Would he?
I pulled myself out of the dark haze; what kind of person would I be to point fingers at someone when I don't have solid evidence? I turned over on my back, taking my eyes off Grayson. I stared at the fan on the ceiling. I miss Pieper, I miss my Mummy. I miss her gracious words of wisdom, I miss her gentle touch. I miss how she'd sing to me when everything was for the worse. Tears swelled in my eyes, I bit my lip, holding in screams of depression. I looked back at Grayson; what happens when he wakes up & finds me here? Will he still love me like he did 3 hours ago? Will he want me to leave?
No. No he wouldn't. Gabe told me he wasn't like that. Maybe Gabe was in on it?
What is wrong with me? Grayson wouldn't do that to me, Gabe said so, Grayson said so, & I say so. I made a good choice by leaving Detroit & opening myself up to new people. This isn't a mistake; this is what I want. I got up to go to the bathroom, when I noticed the condom on the floor. It was the one we used. It was broken.
I stared at it, not seeing it. I stood in shock, I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know how to react. The only thing I could do; was pray to fucking God that I wasn't pregnent. & hope that Grayson would NOT flip the fuck out. Because then again, it is partly his fault.
I sat back down on the bed, the creeking noise was loud & annoying. I looked back at Grayson, still no movement. This night could last forever. The best thing to do, is go back to sleep, act like you find it in the morning, & deal with it then. I laid back down & cuddled into Grayson's side. I wrapped us back in the blanket & closed my eyes. All I need, is a miracle.