In One Single Moment Your Whole Life Can Turn Around

SEVEN

“Urgh, I hate exams,” Ryan whines, hitting his head with his Maths course book. “This really has been one of the worst weeks in my entire life and there’s still half a week like this ahead of me,” he says, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I know, Ry,” I reply, dropping my pen and rolling the desk chair I’m sitting on closer to him. “But you’ll get through this,” I tell him, pulling him onto my lap.

“I miss Sam so badly,” he murmurs, burying his face in the crook of my neck. “So much it even hurts,” he whispers and a few seconds later, I can feel warm tears against my skin.

I rub my hand up and down his spine and slightly pull back from the hug to place feathery kisses all over his face.

“She’s in good hands with your parents, you know that,” I tell him, looking him straight into the eyes. “We could go there now, but only for a little while,” I suggest after pecking his lips. “You really need to study and pass these exams. Not only for yourself, but also for Sam, because if you fail your exams, you’ll have to work really hard during the next trimester and you’ll have less time for her, you know that, right?”

“I know and I’m really doing my best, but it’s so hard not to have her around me for such a long time,” he replies, sniffing away a few tears.

“Yeah. If we leave now, you can feed her and then afterwards we can come back here to study some more,” I say, thumbing away a few of Ryan’s tears. Ryan nods in response and cracks a small smile for me.

“Thank you for being here, Brendon,” he whispers and then he captures my lips in a soft, caring kiss.

“Everything for my boy.” I smile, patting his head. “Let’s go then.”

***

“Ryan, sweetie. Shouldn’t you be at home, studying?” Ryan’s mom says when Ryan and I enter her kitchen. “And you too, Brendon. These exams are really important.”

“I know. We’re only dropping by for a little while. I just had to see Sam,” Ryan replies, giving his mom a pouty look. “Where is she?”

“She’s in the living room with you father,” Ryan’s mom answers. “Do you want to stay over for dinner, or are you going back sooner than that?” she then asks, looking at the two of us.

“Dinner would be nice,” Ryan says, nodding. “I was going to stay to feed Sam anyway,” he adds and then he peeks his head into the living room.

“Hey there, Sammie.” Ryan smiles and takes a few steps closer to her.

Sam’s standing next to a chair, tightly holding on to it with her left hand, while holding her precious blanket in her other hand. She has grown so much since the first time I saw her.

“Dada!” Sam squeals when she sees her father. She lets go of the chair and seems to want to walk towards Ryan, but she falls on her backside five seconds after letting go of the chair. “Dada,” she repeats, smiling when Ryan approaches her and picks her up from the carpet.

“Daddy missed you,” Ryan whispers, pressing his lips against Sam’s forehead. He sits down next to his father on the sofa with her, smiling widely.

“How has she been doing?” Ryan asks his father. I sit down on the floor, in front of the sofa and start pulling weird faces to Sam to make her smile.

“Okay. She’s a bit restless from time to time, though. I think her teeth are starting to erupt. And she obviously misses you. Every morning when Karen or I gets her out of her bed, she says ‘Dada’.”

“Awww, I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Ryan mutters, pressing Sam a bit closer to his chest. “It won’t be long until you can come back home with you daddy,” he tells her, stroking her dark hair.

“And how have you two boys been doing? Are the exams going well?” Mr. Ross questions, looking at me and then at Ryan.

“Yeah. They’ve been okay so far. Only three more to go,” I answer with a small smile.

“I can’t wait until Wednesday,” Ryan states and then he stands up, putting Sam down on her feet. “Want to go for a walk?” he asks her, bending down a bit and holding the little girl’s hands to support her. Sam slowly moves her legs, taking small steps forward. “She hasn’t been walking on her own, has she?” Ryan wonders out loud, looking at his father. “Because I wouldn’t want to miss her first steps for anything in the world,” he adds and then Sam decides she no longer wants to walk, and drops her weight onto the carpet. She starts crawling on her hands and knees towards a few toys that are scattered over the carpet.

“No, not that I know of. I think it will take another month or so. I’m sure you won’t miss it,” Ryan’s father answers and then he stands up. “I’m going to see if I can help your mother in the kitchen.”

“Wow, your dad helps in the kitchen?” I question, cocking an eyebrow. The day that I will see my dad doing that will probably be the end of the world.

“Yeah, he’s weird like that.” Ryan chuckles, sitting down next to me on the carpet, leaning his head against mine. “Kind of like me,” he adds and stands up again, walking over to the table. He picks up a little book from it and sits down again.

“Come here, Sammie,” he says, stretching his arms taking the girl and putting her down on my lap. “Daddy’s going to read you a little story. You like that, don’t you?” He smiles, showing her the book with a smiling frog on the cover. Mirror me! it says.

Ryan opens the book and shifts as close as possible to us so Sam has a good view on the book. On the first page, there’s another green, froglike animal with glasses on.

“Bard can open his eyes big and wide,” Ryan reads and points at the animal’s wide eyes. “Those are his eyes,” he tells Sam, who’s looking at the drawing with great interest. Ryan reads the single sentence on the next page and then he waves his hand in front of Sam. “That’s my hand,” he says and two seconds later, he takes Sam’s tiny hand and lifts it. “This is Sam’s hand,” he tells her, still smiling. When Ryan turns the page and reads the next sentence, I grin widely.

“Those are daddy’s lips,” I tell Sam, tapping Ryan’s lips with my index finger. “And these are my lips,” I add, tapping mine. “And these are your daddy’s lips against Brendon’s lips,” I add, wriggling my eyebrows before leaning closer to Ryan and pressing a quick kiss again his lips.

“Exactly,” Ryan replies and traces his tongue over his lips for a split second.

“Boys, dinner is ready,” Ryan’s mother calls, a little while after we’re done with reading for Sam.

“Okay, let’s eat,” Ryan says, taking Sam off my lap and standing up with her. “I bet you’re really hungry,” he adds, walking to the kitchen with her. Ryan puts Sam down in a highchair and sits down on the seat next to it, so he can easily feed her.

Ryan’s mother puts a casserole with stewed carrots down on the table, next to a pan with the meat and a minute later, she puts a pot with potatoes down as well.

“And for little Sammie,” Ryan’s father says, putting down a plate with what looks a lot like mashed carrots and potatoes.

“Thanks,” Ryan replies, giving his parents a grateful nod. He grabs the small spoon that’s lying on the table and scoops up some of the carrot-mash, bringing it to Sam’s mouth. Sam, however, doesn’t show any interest in the food at all and keeps her mouth shut. “Come on, sweetie, open up your mouth. This is yummy,” Ryan tells her, carefully waving the spoon in front of her mouth.

“Dada,” Sam babbles, pointing at Ryan.

“Yes, this is daddy.” Ryan nods, smiling softly. “Open you mouth for daddy,” he adds and opens his own mouth to show her what she’s supposed to do. This only makes Sam giggle. “Open your mouth like daddy,” Ryan says, opening his mouth again. Sam looks at him with big eyes and eventually she opens her mouth, letting Ryan put the spoon in it. “Good girl.”

The same sort of actions continue for about half an hour, until Sam really had enough and won’t open her mouth anymore, except to drink from her spouted cup.

“Okay, I think she’s had enough,” Ryan states and eats the bit that is left in Sam’s plate himself.

“We should go back and study a bit more now,” I tell Ryan, feeling bad for having to take him away from his daughter again. He is so happy whenever he is around her and I hate being the one to tell him we have to leave her. Ryan sighs loudly and nods.

“We should,” he mutters, a sad look immediately clouding his features. “Daddy and Brendon have to go away,” he tells Sam, resting his hand on the back of her head. “We’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” he adds, bending down to kiss her cheek. “Be good my baby girl.”

Ryan stands up from the chair he was sitting on and I grab his hand, giving it a small squeeze.

“Bye mom and dad,” Ryan speaks, giving both his parents a quick wave. “And Sammie,” he says, waving at her as well. Sam smiles as she sees Ryan wave and copies his actions.

With another sigh, Ryan walks out of the kitchen, towards the front door. As I open the door for him, I can hear Sam starting to cry, probably because she can no longer see her father and misses him already. Ryan hurries out of the house, hating to hear his daughter cry like that.

“Only three more days, Ry,” I whisper, putting my arm around his waist. “It’s not that long anymore.”

***

“I’m so, so glad that those damn exams are finally over,” Ryan tells me, smiling widely. “And that we’ve got some well deserved holidays,” he adds, spreading a blanket on the grass in the park.

Since it’s such a nice weather today, Ryan and I have decided to take Sam out for a cosy day in the park. We’ve got food, drinks, toys and lots more to keep ourselves and Sam busy for at least a few hours.

“Yeah, me too,” I reply, nodding in agreement and take Sam out of the pram, only to put her back down on the blanket.

“Stay on the blanket, Sam,” Ryan tells her, preventing her from crawling too far away. Then he takes a few toys out of a large backbag and gives them to her, together with her little blanket.

“You know,” I start after a long, comfortable silence. “I’ve been thinking. Your parents, they’re really nice people and we go there quite a lot. But, you’ve never seen my parents,” I continue and then I stop talking for a few seconds, biting my lower lip. “They know I’ve got a boyfriend named Ryan, but that’s all. They don’t know about Sam. I’d love to introduce you to my parents one of these days, I’m sure they’d be glad to see you,” I say. “Introduce you and Sam that is. I don’t want to hide her from my parents. They’ll probably freak, but I don’t care.”

“I would love to meet your parents.” Ryan nods, rolling a little, red ball in Sam’s direction. “But are you sure you want them to know about Sam already? We could wait a little while with that, if you’re not comfortable with them knowing. I’d understand.”

“No,” I reply, shaking my head. “I want them to know.”

“If you’re sure, then we’ll be there.” Ryan smiles, resting his hand on top of mine. “I really admire you, Brendon, did I ever tell you that?”

“Why would you admire me?” I wonder out loud, cocking an eyebrow. I never did anything special. Not that I know of.

“Well, to start, you stayed with me when you found out about Sam. I know that a lot of other people would have just walked out of that door and left me, but you stuck around. And even more, you helped me so, so much. That’s pretty admirable if you ask me,” he explains, rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I reply and then I look at Sam. “And I love Sam too.”

“I know you do and if she could talk, I’m sure she would tell you she loves you,” Ryan tells me. “You love Brendon, don’t you?” he asks Sam, taking her hands and lifting her into a standing position. Sam giggles and stomps her feet a bit.

“Den,” she says, taking tiny steps towards me as Ryan holds her hands. “Den,” she repeats, plopping down in front of me.

***

“Mom, dad,” I carefully start during dinner. It’s been ages since I’ve had dinner at home and it feels weird not having Sam’s constant babbling around me or the mess that she tends to make when she eats. “Can Ryan come over tomorrow?” I ask, prodding the single potato on my plate with my fork.

“Of course he can,” mom replies with a smile. “It’s nice that you’re finally inviting him over, I’d love to meet him,” she adds.

“Can he bring Sam too?” I question, not looking at mom or dad. They’re going to kill me.

“Who is Sam?” dad asks. “If it’s his dog, then no, you know I’m allergic to dogs.”

“No, Sam’s not his dog,” I reply, shaking my head. “Sam…” I start, pausing for a short second. “Sam is Ryan’s ten month old daughter,” I speak, curling my hands around my knife and fork. I probably shouldn’t be holding such things at this moment, it might get dangerous.

“His what?” mom asks, her voice a notch higher than it usually is. “How old is this Ryan? I thought he was in the same class as you?”

“He’s as old as I am, mom,” I answer, still looking down at my food. “He just has a daughter, that’s all. It’s not such a big deal,” I tell them, finally looking up. “I love him and his little daughter,” I add, dropping the knife and fork on the table.

“Brendon, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” dad half shouts. “You’re dating a teenage father?”

“Yeah, but why does it matter?” I wonder, small tears forming in my eyes.

“Because,” mom answers, standing up. “Having a baby at such young age ruins your life, he’ll pull you down with him if you stay with him,” she tells me, her hands resting on her hips as she sternly looks at me.

“Ryan is not ruining his life, mom and neither am I,” I protest, standing up as well. “He’s a great guy and a great father. I am not going to leave him, no matter what you think.”

“Brendon, you don’t have a damn clue of what you’re talking about!” dad shouts, his face red. “You don’t know a thing about raising children, don’t be so stupid.”

“I’m not the one being stupid here, dad,” I reply, shaking my head. “I’ve been helping Ryan with Sam for more than four months already, so don’t think I don’t know shit about babies. I’ve been doing pretty damn fine, if you ask me and I’m proud of that,” I tell him, trying not to raise my voice because I know that if I start yelling, things will get worse for me. “Just give him a chance. I really love him and it would mean a lot to me if my parents would support me in this.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re telling us now, because you need us to babysit for the baby?” dad asks, cocking an eyebrow. “Well, son, that’s not going to happen.”

“I didn’t ask for a thing, except for giving Ryan and Sam a chance. He doesn’t need a babysitter, he’s doing fine on his own.”

“But Brendon.” Mom sighs, throwing her hands up in frustration. “You’re seventeen years old, you’re not supposed to be doing things like this. It’s not right.”

“I don’t give a damn about what’s right. I give a damn about Ryan and that’s all that matters. I thought you had learned me better than to judge people like that. You don’t even know Ryan and you’re already telling me he’s not good for me, that’s not fair,” I tell them, glaring at them. “So, please, give him and Sam a chance,” I desperately plead, my facial features softening. “Please.”

“Fine. Invite him over, but don’t expect me to change my mind, it won’t happen,” mom answers and rushes out of the kitchen.