Natural Isn't Always Right

Two weeks they kept the triplets in for and for those two weeks Sean had lessons on how to feed, change, bathe and in general look after them. He was quick to pick it up, that was when he could be bothered, and a lot of the time he seemed to mope around, not even looking at the triplets, half heartedly doing any tasks that he was given.
It was always going to be hard for him, decidedly being the only mother that these three children were ever going to know; then again he could always lie about it, say she died giving birth to them or something. After all they weren’t going to know any better, it was of course their ‘fathers’ word against any other.

Sean’s *pov*

Urgh, sometimes I just want to throw them out of the window, for god sakes one of them’s always whining, screaming about something, something I have no idea about. Would it be so hard for them to sleep for just one night? One night so I could get properly to sleep? I promise that if this continues for much longer, I am going to pull my hair out.
Daddy’s always going on about how cute they are, well I suppose I have to agree with him, but only when they’re sleeping, otherwise they may as well be monsters. No one’s attractive with a red, screaming, pudgy face. No one. And no I’m not being un far, so what if they’re only babies? One day they’ll have to learn these things.
Dad’s always going on about how much fun they’re going to be when they’re older. Yeah older, how longs that meant to be? A week, a month, a year, a couple of years, maybe ten? I don’t care how fun they’re going to be, I’m not in the future.
My feet and hands are killing me, forever do I seem to be holding some child or if not that then a bottle or bib. I’m forever on my feet; I don’t think I’ve stood up more than I have in that last week, ever! As for my hands, there red raw from repeatedly having to wash them or wash bottles and clothes, why can’t they just be like normal people and wear one set of clothes a day? Is that really so hard?
Uh, I can’t do this, I’m not meant to be a father, I’m not meant to be doting over children, and I’m not cut out for it. I don’t find it easy; in fact it’s the hardest thing of my life ever. I don’t find it fun; I find it boring and repetitive. Overall I don’t find it rewarding: I find it dull and empty.
Maybe once in a while, one of them will bring a smile to my face, on those rare occasions they’re all asleep, but most of the time I just want to cry.
Really what sort of lives are they going to have, with me as their only parent?

Gavin’s *pov*

My heart reaches out to him, it really, really does. I can see him struggle, I can see him want to give in, I can see him on the verge of pulling his hair out and on the edge of tears. Nothing breaks my heart more than to see him like this, but I know it’s forever going to be like this from now on. I know that he’s going to have to give everything up, that his social life is going to disappear, but I know that without Ian that was all going to happen anyway.
The only blessing I can see for Sean from all of this is the fact that he no longer has time to think about Ian. His mind is going to be too full and all his spare time is going to be devoted to sleeping.
I caught him crying the first night they came home; he was curled up in the darkest corner of his room, sobbing his eyes out. All I could do was wrap my arms around him and hope that he stopped crying, in the end he just dropped off to sleep. I wasn’t going to wake him, he didn’t deserve that and anyway Rhys and I coped perfectly alright for the first night.
I just hope he gets to grips with it all a lot quicker than he has been at the moment.
I know deep down he’d be lost without them, no matter what he says they are a part of his life.

A part that will always be remembered, yet looked upon with disgust, hated and the makings of nightmares. Something that always wanted to be forgotten.