I Wanna Hold Your Hand So Tight I'm Gonna Break My Wrist

Your ‘meet ups’ with Mike start to become more and more regular, although they all seem to stop at the same place the first one did. Mike doesn’t interact with you much anymore in front of the others, but you know it’s only so Vic doesn’t become suspicious. You feel terrible whenever you’re in the same room with Mike and Vic, but when you’re alone with Mike you feel like you never have before. Something you don’t get when you’re with Vic, and you can feel yourself falling for him more than you ever thought you would. Vic always tells you he loves you, and you tell him you do too. But you do because it’s what couples say. You know Mike feels strongly for you, but he’s never actually said he loves you and you begin to wonder if it’s all worth it.
You and the boys are all back home now and you’re glad, because it makes the situation a lot easier. And you don’t have to face everyone together. You sit on your couch weighing out the pro and cons of telling Vic about you and Mike when there’s a knock at the door. You jump up eagerly to get it incase it’s Mike.
‘Hi gorgeous!’ Mike says as you open the door.
‘What are you doing here? If Vic comes and sees your car…’ you automatically go into panic mode.
‘Calm down, I thought ahead and took a taxi!’ He smiles before stepping in, closing the door and grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you.
‘Mike, I wanna talk to you about something…’ you say when Mike finally lets you breath.
‘Mmmmm…’ he replies while brushing a strand of hair out of your face and kissing your neck.
‘No seriously Mike…’ you can’t help but smile.
‘Okay.’ He sighs, walking over to the couch and sitting down making himself comfortable. You take a seat next to him and turn to face him.
‘So I was thinking about what would happen if we tell Vic about us…’ You begin before Mike cuts you off.
‘We’re not going to tell him.’ He says firmly.
‘But Mike…the longer this goes on the more it’s going to hurt him.’ You reply.
‘It’s going to hurt him anyway. Trust me, we can’t tell him.’ He runs his fingers over your hand before intertwining yours and his.
‘I don’t want to keep doing this. I feel terrible every time I see him. I feel so shit, and I have to fake a smile and pretend I’m not cheating on him.’ You feel tears beginning to well up in your eyes and you take a deep breath in and try to stop them.
‘You don’t want to keep doing what? Us or you and Vic?’ Mike looks hurt, and you can tell he’s assuming you meant you and him.
‘I can’t stay with Vic. I want to tell him the truth. I don’t care if he hates me for it, I don’t want to keep hurting him.’ Mike notices your attempt at trying not to cry and pulls you in for a hug. He strokes your hair and kisses your forehead before sighing heavily.
‘I don’t want to hurt him…he’s my brother.’ He whispers.
‘It’s too late Mike.’ You say.
‘But I guess family is family in the end. I’ll take all the blame and tell him the truth. That I pursued you.’ He says.
‘What about Tony and Jaime? What are they going to think?’ you ask.
‘It doesn’t matter. Just leave it all to me.’ He says calmly.
‘Mike It’s not just your fault. We’ll both do it.’ You smile at him and he smiles back at you.
‘Should we go now then?’ He asks.
‘No times ever going to be good, so why not.’ You reply. Your nerves begin to attack and you feel a heaviness in your chest as Mike takes your hand and you both head for the door.
***
The nerves only seem to get worse as Mike lets go of your hand and you approach Vic’s doorstep. You take a deep breath and Mike knocks on the door and steps back.
‘Hey baby!’ Vic says before he notices Mike standing next to you. ‘What are you guys doing here?’ he asks.
‘There’s something I wanna talk to you about…’ Mike replies.
‘…Okay.’ Vic replies, and the look on his face makes you think he already knows what’s going to happen.
You walk inside and sit down in one of the two arm chairs to avoid thinking about whether to sit next to Vic on the couch, and Mike sits in front of Vic in the second arm chair. You can see Mike trying to figure out what to say in his head while Vic looks at you and then back to Mike when he’s figured out his words.
‘I have to be honest to you. Before I say anything else I want you to know that you’re my brother and I love you more than anything. But if what I’m about to say makes you hate me, so be it. Just let me take full responsibility for it.’ He says looking Vic straight in the eye.
‘…You don’t need to say it Mike. I know. I can tell.’ Vic replies. He looks so hurt you can hardly breathe. This was everything you wanted to avoid. You didn’t want to hurt the sweetest guy in the world. Especially when he didn’t deserve it in the slightest.
‘No Vic just let me explain…’ Mike looks puzzled.
‘No Mike. Why else would you both be here? I suspected it all along; I just didn’t want to let myself believe it. The ‘talk’ outside the bus, the time you were too ‘sick’ to come out and sign, the sudden disinterest in each other whenever I was around…’ Vic sounds more hurt as he lists the signs.
‘Vic please listen…’ You manage to get out.
‘No. I want to know what made YOU think it was okay to come in and steal your own brothers girlfriend when you KNEW how I felt about her. I told you only a few weeks ago that I thought I loved her!’ Vic’s words turn from hurt to angry.
‘Vic it’s not just his fault.’ You look Vic in the eyes and his whole expression has changed.Before he can say anything to you Mike cuts in.
‘Do you think I deliberately set out to do this? I can’t help my feelings, Vic.’ Mike’s soft spoken voice now becoming a yell.
‘Common decency Mike!’ Vic yells back.
You don’t know what to do. Vic won’t acknowledge you at all and it hurts like hell. You just want him to yell at you, take it out on you and not Mike.
‘Have you slept with him?’ Vic finally speaks to you.
‘No. Vic please…’ you plead.
‘Mike, can you get the fuck out and let me have some alone time with my girlfriend please?’ Vic yells, but his voice is considerably calmer. Mike looks at you and give him a nod to let him know its okay. He takes a cigarette from his back pocket and heads out the front door.
‘Please… don’t just tell me what I want to hear. Are you sleeping with my brother?’ he asks slowly.
‘No.’ you can’t manage to say anything else.
‘Listen…’ He pauses for a long minute.
‘I’m willing to forget all this happened. But you need to promise me one thing. Promise me you will never see my brother again. Forget about him and it can all go back to normal.’ He reaches for your hand.
‘I can’t, Vic. I would if I could. But I just…can’t. You know it would never go back to normal even if we tried to forget.’ Your tears finally get the better of you and you push his hand away.
‘Fine. I just hope to god he doesn’t use you and throw you away like he does with every other girl. You could’ve made the choice to be with someone who loves you.’ He looks down at the ground before looking back up at you. ‘I never thought you of all people would do this…That’s why I made myself believe I was making it up in my head…’ He stops.
‘I know it probably means shit all now, but I tried my hardest Vic. I rejected him so many times to save your feelings. My head was spinning but when I came back to you I thought I’d made the right decision.’ You try and look him in the eye.
‘What changed then?’ He asks.
‘I don’t know…I slipped up. I let my feelings become real.’ You reply.
‘They weren’t real with me?’ he finally looks you in the eyes.
‘They were…just not as strong.’ You admit.
‘Okay.’ Vic fakes a smile but his hurts shows through it.
‘I’m sorry.’ You finally say.
‘Yeah…me too. I shouldn’t have exposed you to my brother. I shouldn’t have taken you out on tour with me. It was too early…’ He says.
‘I really want to still be friends, Vic. And I hope you can forgive Mike one day.’ You say hopefully.
‘Despite everything…you still mean the world to me. And you always will. I don’t want to lose you. So yeah…friends.’ He smiles.
‘And Mike?’ You ask. Vic sighs and shakes his head.
‘I really fucking hate him right now, but he’s my brother. He’s a real douche 99% of the time, but he’s my brother. Just don’t let him back in here right now and I’ll be fine.’ He says.
‘You’re a great guy Vic Fuentes, you really are.’ You tell him, stepping forward testing to see if he will let you hug him, and he does.
‘I’m probably torturing myself here…but just one more kiss?’ He asks.
You nod giving him approval as he puts his hands on your waist pulling you in and kisses you for the very last time.
‘I hope he saw that. That’s my revenge.’ You separate yourself from him as he laughs and you laugh as well. He’s still holding your hand up until you walk away and let go.