I Need You

I rushed to the hospital the minute Raine called me. If Hale died... I don't know what I would do, sure I love Raine, but I raised Hale. He is my baby, and poor Raine. I'm sure his depression would come back and suffocate him everyday for the rest of his life.

Without Hale our life is going to be a wreck. And if Zeke is the one that caused this... I'll-I'll... I'm not sure what I'll do but he will never be allowed anywhere near my house, or my kids ever again. I don't care if hell freezes over, or if he's the last man on Earth. He is not coming near me ever again.

When I ran inside to the hospital I found Raine sitting in a chair with his knees pulled up to his face. His jeans were soaked with tears. I sat beside him and hugged him close.

"I know how you feel." I said quietly as tears trickled down my face. I avoided saying 'it will be okay' because, it might not be. And Raine takes sayings like that to heart.

"Th-thanks for being here." He sniffled and crawled halfway into my lap. He rested his head on my should and let the tears free fall from his eyes. I followed suit.

My baby boy, the one I decided to keep and raise even though, I hadn't finished high school, possibly lays on his death bed. And my other baby boy who I've only known for about a year, lay in my lap; his clinical depression threatening to kick in at any time.

And all I can do is watch. I can't comfort Raine. I can't save Hale. I can't do anything! I have to sit here and watch my two sons die. One inside, and one really die. Why? Why must I lose my husband and my son?!

You can't take them from me, I don't have anything left. Money isn't comfort, money isn't home. Home is were your heart is, and my heart lies with my two boys.I'll give up my house, my money, my job, my life if I could save my son.

But that's not how it works. No matter what I give up; nothing will happen. Hale will still die, and Raine will probably kill himself soon after. That's the facts. That's the hand I've been dealt in life.

I'll have a beautiful family and think everything is fine, then my husband will be violently ripped out of my life, because some idiot had a gun. Then, by some miracle, I get my other son back, and I start to forget the whole in my heart left by my husbands absence.

Then... well then this. I sit in a hospital, clutching onto my youngest son, and wait for the news on Hale. If Hale goes, Raine will surely go with him. If both my sons go, I leave my wealth to our old driver, and follow them.

I can't take anymore suffering. I just can't, and I won't.Every night I miss my husband. I have his favorite shirt hanging on my wall, and I clutch his favorite pillow to my chest every night, trying to hold myself together. It's been 10 years, and I still can't forget him.

I'll never forget the way he smiled at me, or the way he would laugh and toss Hale in the air, or when he kissed me. The soft touch of his lips on mine, not demanding, not aggressive, just loving.

But everyday his face fades a little from my memory, and I'm helpless to fight against it. If Hale was gone too, my last piece of Jonathan would slip away. Jonathan is Hale's real father, and my two boys are the spitting images of him.

If I lose them, I lose him. If I lose all of them, I lose everything. Even my life.


Raine's POV

The hours ticked by like years, and I couldn't push away the storm cloud looming over my head. Luca and Rory showed up an hour after we did, and Zeke didn't. Damn right he didn't, this is his fault! By now, my eyes were dry, I couldn't produce anymore tears. All I could do was sob. Hale was gone, that's why they haven't come to get us. That's why we've sat here for so long. Hale isn't going to make it.

"Raine?" The doctor called. I looked up at him.

"Yes?" I asked my voice was hoarse, I hardly sounded like myself.

"Hale has been asking for you." He said.

"But I thought.." He was dead? He was unconscious? I'd never hear his sweet voice again? What was I supposed to say there...

"We used a high grade anesthetic on him, but he kept murmuring 'Raine', so I assumed it was a name. Someone he saw last, or loves, or is related to. Come this way."

"Mom is coming with me." I told him firmly. I couldn't do this alone.

"Very well." Then he walked away and we followed. I grabbed my mom's hand and squeezed it as hard as I could. When they pushed open the door, I couldn't help but sob even louder. Magically my eyes were able to produce more tears and they started cascading from my eyes in a water fall.

Hale was burned in random patterns and stitches covered a large part of his body. He had a bandage on his head and casts on one leg, his wrist and his other arm.

"I look...." He took in a painful breath. "terrible I know." He smiled a little.

"Oh Hale!" I wailed and fell to my knees beside my bed. "You'll never look terrible, not as long as your alive."

"I'm not alive." He said quietly. I looked up at him as a look of confusion spread along my face. "The doc says, he has no idea how I'm awake. I should be in a coma, and if they unplug these machines... I'll....Die."

"How are you awake?" I sniffled, a new batch of tears just waiting to spill.

"I didn't want to leave you without saying.." He took in a shaky breath. "Goodbye."

"No!" I wailed. "Don't say goodbye, you won't leave me! You can't!"

"i have to sleep sometime." Tears filled his eyes. "And when I do... I might now wake up."

"You have to wake up! You can't leave me! You can't leave your mom! We need you! If you go in a coma, I won't let them unplug you. I'll read and talk to you everyday I don't care if you don't respond! I love you!"

"I love you to, and I'll try." He whimpered. "But Raine... It hurts. Everything. It's so much easier to just let go. And I'm afraid, I won't be able to hang on."

"You have to! I can't live without you! Do you know what will happen if you die?" I answered for him. "My depression will come right back with vengeance. And I have a feeling the meds won't work." I frowned.

"You think I haven't thought about that?" He tried to raise his voice but ended up coughing. "I won't leave you... Not willingly at least. But there's somethings you can't fight, and you just have to accept that."

"We can fight it! Together, you will win... I don't know what will happen if you don't."

"Please Hale. I've thought about this and... If you go, Raine goes... And... And... Without you and Raine and your father, I... I feel like I may follow you shortly after." Our mom said.

"I'm so tired... so very tired..." His eyes fluttered, and his breathing slowed.

"I love you Hale, always." I murmured to him.

"I love you too, son." Mom said quietly.

"I love... you guys to..." He said breathily. "I'll... always. Be with you, I promise. But right now... I'm so tired."

"I know." I said quietly. "Just try to wake up soon, okay?" He nodded slightly,and I pressed one last kiss to his lips. Then I ran out of the room. I didn't want to hear the solid wall of sound that was bound to come from the machines, to signal he was dead. i didn't want to see the doctors rush in with the defibrillator sending pointless shocks to the corpse of the boy I love. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. I got a few doors down in the hallway and collapsed.

I couldn't do this anymore, pretend I was okay, even though my parents deaths ate me up inside. The only time I was happy was the time spent with Hale.

And Hale... he wasn't... Here anymore.

I fell to the ground as the darkness consumed. There was no use fighting it anymore. If I wasn't going to see Hale's face anymore, why live?