Urbanity

I was starving. God, I was starving. It’d gotten so bad my stomach had stopped growling, and I could literally feel myself dying. My wrists were so small a baby could wrap its fingers around them. I hadn’t eaten in three weeks. And then Mace came to town.

He was famous. Well, famous might not be the right word. Not with popular culture. I suppose the right word to describe him would be ‘emo’. Beautiful, of course. Perfect pale skin, gray eyes ringed with black, full lips, razor sharp black hair. His skinny, tall body always clothed in black, silver jewelry dripping from his elegant frame.

His stage name was just Mace, but his full name was Macen Dryiek. His tour was stopping at my town for a few days just to rest. I stumbled upon the van. Honestly, stumbled.
It was maybe three in the morning, but his party was on full blast. I was out of my mind hungry, and I’d followed the sound until I bumped into his van. I’m not sure who heard me-maybe Tyo or Sean.

Either way, I just gave up right there. I guess I had reached the end. I fell at the steps, staring up at the stars. So beautiful, those points of light, they make my soul shine. I thought distantly. Already my mind felt a thousand miles away.

There were voices, and the music washed over me. “She-girl-dead? Call-fast-hurry!” I heard broken sentences as people surrounded my body. Someone picked me up and I was carried into a dim, warm place, left on a soft bed. The world was swirling, and then I smelled food. I lifted my head.

Fingers were at my lips, offering food. I opened eagerly, and for the first time in too long I was fed. Not too much, just enough to make me lucid. “You. Girl. What’s your name?” A man asked me gruffly. I later learned his name was Thomas. “I’m...Alice.” I lied, using the first name that came to mind. Then someone else bent over me, speaking softly in a musical voice. “Where do you come from? What do you want here?”

My dazed mind recognized Mace, one of my favorite singers. I grabbed his shirt, terror and need making me crazy. This was the first place that had given me food. I needed to stay here. “Please, let me stay. I’ll do anything, I’ll be the most loyal person you’ve ever met. You can fuck me every night, I won’t care. I’m 18, I can prove it to you. Please, just don’t force me out! I’ll obey you forever, you can use me however you want, I’ll never betray you, just don’t make me leave! I swear, you can fuck me. Everyone here can fuck me, in one night. I don’t care, just don’t make me leave. Please.”

My fingers were pulled gently away from his shirt, and someone patted my head. Mace’s voice was back in my ear again. “You may stay.” That calmed me enough that I was able to sleep.

Well, sort of. I dreamed of a room, dark shadows in the corners. Whimpers rose and fell around me, pleading for help. I started running, falling to my knees in the middle of a hallway.

“Gwen! Please, Gwen!” A grey blob filled the path, a horrid monstrosity with black eyes. My brother Jason was wrapped in its clawed hands, nails digging into his sides, blood dripping from his mouth.

“Gwen, stop, Gwen!” I cried out, trying to reach him. The monster looked at me with impenetrable eyes. “Where’s your love, Gwen? Can you find your love?” I clawed at my chest, throwing my own blood at it.

“Please, I can’t find it, give him back!” The monster just laughed and squeezed harder, until Jason went limp. As the dream ended his body dropped limply to the ground while the monster reached for me...I never could save him.

“Holy Jesus!” I bolted up in the bed. The room was pitch dark again. The monster... I flailed terrified around in the air, falling out of the bed to my knees. “Jason! Please, I’m so sorry Jason, I’m sorry!”

I had no idea where I was, even when my fists hit against the corner of the van. “AAiiee! Jason!” People stumbled around, and someone tripped over me. I immediately readied myself to fight, holding my fists up. What would the monster do this time? “Please, I can’t find it! I don’t have the love!”

The lights flicked on the reveal the band members startled faces. Tyo. Sean. Grant. Mace. “Alice, please.” I came back to my senses and settled down. Mace glanced around at his band mates and they seemed to come to some sort of agreement. He came over and hugged me, humming the opening bars of his song ‘Forgotten’ in my ear.

And to think that I could ever have met you, you know I’ll never forget you. On these lonesome days, do you even remember my name? Have you....forgotten?

I sucked in a breath, trying to compose myself. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t kick me out, please, I can’t starve again, I’m begging you.” I looked up and locked eyes with all the band members. “I’ll fuck each and every one of you, just please let me stay.” Grant was the first to answer. “We’re not monsters. You can stay, and you won’t have to do anything like that with any of us.” I nodded.

The band moved on soon after. I was lying in my bunk, staring at the wall. Tyo, who had quickly proved to be the most motherly of the band, had tucked me in and kissed my forehead even though I’d flinched away.

“Sh...Alice, no one’s going to hurt you.” That’s what you say. I thought. It wasn’t long before the whole band had gathered to interrogate me. “What’s your full name?” “Alice Jane Freedom.” I lied through my teeth. “Where are you from?” “New York.” I lied again. New York was sort of close to where I lived. “What about your parents?”

“They won’t care.” This, at least, was the truth. I wasn’t wanted anymore. I tried to stand, but I got dizzy. “Maybe you should eat now,” Mace said, holding out a donut. I devoured it like it was my last meal. “Thank you.”

We sat there in silence for a few seconds. “Well...I assume you know who we are.” I nodded. “You’re Urbanity. Mace. Grant. Tyo. Sean.” “Yeah.” Mace scruffed his hair before he spoke again. “Look, you can stay with us. As long as you don’t do anything really bad. We’re touring the East Coast right now, and I guess you can keep on sharing the bus.”

He smirked. “It’s not like we’re being followed by paparazzi.” “Okay. I promise I’ll be perfect.” “Sure. Whatever.” Mace stood up and looked around at his friends. “It’s time to practice.” Grant moaned, “Ugh. I’m so tired,” but he stood up anyway. I followed quietly.
Urbanity is a quickly rising screamo band, famous for its lyrics. Unlike most screamo bands, their lyrics are flowery, almost pretty at times. They rarely rhyme. I could remember so many nights spent lying on my back in bed, the music blasting in my ears. It had kept me from destroying myself. I sat on the grass in front of their make shift stage, waiting for the music to begin. And begin it did.

I was hidden
You have bidden
Me away
Can’t I stay?

Jesus, it’s so beautiful. I read once that Mace’s voice had been compared to silk on the ears, and I agreed. Each band member knew his instrument like himself, leaning into it, smiling.

Mace had his long fingers twined about the stand, body wrapped around it. He was nearly kissing the microphone. I closed my eyes and sank into his words.

Two hours later they were done. Mace hopped off the stage and helped me up. “Did we sound alright?” For the first time his voice was nervous. “Perfect, as always I’m sure.” He smiled. “Thanks.”

After that they just spread out. Mace locked himself away writing music. Grant drummed by himself. Sean and Tyo were playing a cutthroat game of checkers. I curled up in my bed and watched. I was very tired, and I ached to take a shower, but I didn’t dare ask.

Luckily Tyo looked over at me and sniffed. “Um....Alice, no offense, but you smell kinda bad. Why don’t you take a shower? We’ll give you privacy, and I’ll leave some clothes out that might fit you.” I smiled and thanked him.

I don’t believe I’ve felt many things better than that shower. Warmth, for the first time in forever. I sighed happily and used soap, actual soap. By the end of my shower I was finally clean, and it was time to sleep.

I slipped on the sweatshirt and underwear Tyo had gotten for me-I didn’t want to know from where-and fell into the bunk. I could already hear the boy’s soft snores from the other room, and the music playing from Mace’s I-touch. It lulled me to sleep.