Status: Completed
Urbanity
Nighttime
At 8:00 p.m. the concert started. We were ushered backstage at a tiny place, the ‘Star Theater’. The band gave me a spot in the front, right below Mace’s feet. And so the show began.
God, it was amazing. I could literally see the guys feeding of the energy of the crowd, faces glowing with exhilaration. But Mace, Mace stole the night. Swathed in black and silver, his thin legs wrapped around the stand, long fingers gripping the mike, he shone. Shirt ripped off, his black hair dripping with sweat, Mace gave his soul into those songs.
I’m so fucking sorry
That I ever met you
I reached for him along with everyone, aching to touch just a bit of the...life he gave off. For one night, all my problems were forgotten. I was just a part of a giant mass of people, our adoration focused on music. Perfect.
When the concert ended at 1:00 a.m. I followed the boys back to their dressing room. Only Grant seemed unaffected by the night-he sat smiling to himself. Tyo and Sean were jumping at each other, shirts stuck to their chests, singing and yelling and celebrating. Mace stood in the middle of the room, looking up at the sky, his lips moving like he was praying. Half his jewels were gone, thrown to the crowd. All he wore were those black jeans.
After a few minutes the chaos calmed down a little and the band huddled up, bumping fists and yelling to each other about their night. I waited for them to finish. They all gave me sopping wet guy hugs, which I didn’t cringe away from. “When’s the next concert?”I asked. “Next week.” The boys high fived each other. “Let’s go back to the bus. We’d better get going.”
They were asleep before we got there, despite their former excitement. The roadies had to carry them in, arms hanging like ragdolls. “Do they always fall asleep like this?”One guy, Jason, laughed and nodded. “Mace will be exhausted for days, but no one minds, cause he’s got so much presence.” I agreed with him. At 2:00 I went to sleep. Well, tried to. I was in kind of a daze, half asleep half awake. The concert had pumped me up too much to rest. But memories kept me company.
He came over when my parents were there. He dropped right next to me on the couch, sitting right across from them with a blanket over our laps. His smile was beautifully innocent. My family didn’t notice when he stuck a hand in my pants and made me rub him through his jeans. I felt so filthy afterwards I took two showers.
I was still staring at the ceiling when the boys woke up at 12:00 a.m. My body was full of coffee.
Mace stumbled into the room, rubbing his black rimmed eyes. “Fooood,” he moaned. I hid a smile behind my hand. I’d never seen anyone look like that much of a zombie. I rushed to the kitchen as Sean entered the room, preparing easy-make waffles. In five minutes the boys were sitting at the table, even if Mace did have his head leaning against Grant’s shoulder. “So-tired.”Grant mumbled. I gave them the waffles and watched proudly as they devoured the food.
I’d already eaten an hour before, so I wasn’t hungry. The guys went right back to bed after they were done eating, so I was left alone. It didn’t take long for me to get bored. I read a few magazines, daydreamed a little, and just stared. Even with the coffee I was so tired I felt dizzy. At 6:00 p.m. Grant came out of the room alone. “Alice, would you please make me something?” Out of all the band members, I knew Grant the least, but he was quiet and polite.
“Sure. Want a sandwich?”He nodded thankfully. I bustled around the kitchen. Well, it seemed like I bustled. “Uh, Alice? Are you okay in there?” Grant peeked around the corner at me. I was holding the peanut butter and trying to open it. “It’s too tight.” I said, but grant walked over and twisted it off easily. “Alice, you seem really tired. I think you should sleep.” I shook my head and grabbed for the jar. “I’m really okay. I drink a lot of coffee.” He shrugged and went to sit on the couch, lacing his hands together. “Are you up for good then?” I asked hopefully. Maybe he could entertain me. “Yeah, I’ll be up for a while.” Grant nodded at the bedroom.
“The others won’t be up for a long time, though. Mace won’t be himself for days.” “Oh.” We sat awkwardly for a bit. “Uh, what’s it like playing drums?” Grant’s face lit up and he leaned forward. “Oh, it’s great! I picked up my first pair of sticks when I was 10, and my dad let me play his old set until it had to be sold.” Grant tightened his lips at the memory. “And I love keeping the beat, zoning out on everything but music, all I can feel are the notes. The drums feel like they’re a part of me, and my hands have a mind of their own. The guys need me, and I love being there for them, keeping track of their lives.”He paused, blinking. “Wow. You really are easy to talk to. Mace was right.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” Mace talked about me...? “Mace wouldn’t tell us what your real story is though. He said you could tell us yourself.” I shrugged and retold the same lie about my past I’d told Mace. “Jeez, I’m sorry. I’ve always considered myself lucky that my dad was so caring.” “You are lucky.” “So, is that why you don’t really let anyone touch you?” I should’ve known not to talk to the quiet one. They notice everything. “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t really like anything unexpectedly touching me.” That part was true. “And you woke up screaming in the middle of the night. It scared the hell out of us.” “Sorry.” I didn’t want to talk about that, so I changed the subject.
“What about you? What’s your story?” For a second I thought he would refuse to tell me, but he sighed and began. “My mom left us when I was seven, broke my dad’s heart. He loved me though, and we were happily living together. Everyday my dad would say this as I was going to school, ‘Grant, I don’t care what you do with your life as long as you remember this-do your best and be nice to everybody.’ So that’s what I live my life on. But when I turned 16 Dad got cancer,” Grant chewed on his cuff, clearly trying to keep control, “and he couldn’t beat it. I was given to an aunt who was a total bitch. She made me sell everything I could have used to remember him by. I left when I turned 18 and never looked back.” Grant gave me a smile. “Kind of like you. I guess we’ve all kind of left something.”
“You’re right.”Grant glanced at the clock. “Damn. It’s nice. We’ve been talking for a while.” He yawned and stood up. “I should go to sleep. Sean and Tyo should be up by tomorrow. Get some sleep.”I waved at him. “Night.” “Night.” When he closed the door behind him I lay down and finally fell asleep.
I dreamed.
I was looking at Jason, who was cowering away from me, eyes wide with fear. “Gwen, please, stop!”I was puzzled. “Jas?” He trembled and backed farther away. “Please Gwen! No!”I reached forwards to comfort him, touching his face. A line of blood welled up where my hand touched and he screamed. “Gwen! No!” I gasped and spun, facing a mirror. I saw a blurry gray mass with blind eyes, razor claws hanging at its side. I inhaled, and the beast did too, opening its mouth to reveal bloody, jagged fangs. Monster. I was a monster. Jason howled with pain behind me, and I woke up.
I’d only slept for two hours. It was 11 at night. I drank some coffee and prepared to stay up alone again. Instead, Sean walked in. “Hey Alice.” He did a double take and looked at my face. “Oh my God. What happened?” I wiped the tears away and tried to smile. “Just a nightmare. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” He shook his head. “I’m hungry.” So I fed him too. He didn’t stay up with me-Sean went right back to bed after he devoured a few Pop Tarts. I remained awake.
Did you know that if you only sleep about three hours a night, you begin to act like a seriously drunk person within four to five days? You even hallucinate. I didn’t know that at all.
God, it was amazing. I could literally see the guys feeding of the energy of the crowd, faces glowing with exhilaration. But Mace, Mace stole the night. Swathed in black and silver, his thin legs wrapped around the stand, long fingers gripping the mike, he shone. Shirt ripped off, his black hair dripping with sweat, Mace gave his soul into those songs.
I’m so fucking sorry
That I ever met you
I reached for him along with everyone, aching to touch just a bit of the...life he gave off. For one night, all my problems were forgotten. I was just a part of a giant mass of people, our adoration focused on music. Perfect.
When the concert ended at 1:00 a.m. I followed the boys back to their dressing room. Only Grant seemed unaffected by the night-he sat smiling to himself. Tyo and Sean were jumping at each other, shirts stuck to their chests, singing and yelling and celebrating. Mace stood in the middle of the room, looking up at the sky, his lips moving like he was praying. Half his jewels were gone, thrown to the crowd. All he wore were those black jeans.
After a few minutes the chaos calmed down a little and the band huddled up, bumping fists and yelling to each other about their night. I waited for them to finish. They all gave me sopping wet guy hugs, which I didn’t cringe away from. “When’s the next concert?”I asked. “Next week.” The boys high fived each other. “Let’s go back to the bus. We’d better get going.”
They were asleep before we got there, despite their former excitement. The roadies had to carry them in, arms hanging like ragdolls. “Do they always fall asleep like this?”One guy, Jason, laughed and nodded. “Mace will be exhausted for days, but no one minds, cause he’s got so much presence.” I agreed with him. At 2:00 I went to sleep. Well, tried to. I was in kind of a daze, half asleep half awake. The concert had pumped me up too much to rest. But memories kept me company.
He came over when my parents were there. He dropped right next to me on the couch, sitting right across from them with a blanket over our laps. His smile was beautifully innocent. My family didn’t notice when he stuck a hand in my pants and made me rub him through his jeans. I felt so filthy afterwards I took two showers.
I was still staring at the ceiling when the boys woke up at 12:00 a.m. My body was full of coffee.
Mace stumbled into the room, rubbing his black rimmed eyes. “Fooood,” he moaned. I hid a smile behind my hand. I’d never seen anyone look like that much of a zombie. I rushed to the kitchen as Sean entered the room, preparing easy-make waffles. In five minutes the boys were sitting at the table, even if Mace did have his head leaning against Grant’s shoulder. “So-tired.”Grant mumbled. I gave them the waffles and watched proudly as they devoured the food.
I’d already eaten an hour before, so I wasn’t hungry. The guys went right back to bed after they were done eating, so I was left alone. It didn’t take long for me to get bored. I read a few magazines, daydreamed a little, and just stared. Even with the coffee I was so tired I felt dizzy. At 6:00 p.m. Grant came out of the room alone. “Alice, would you please make me something?” Out of all the band members, I knew Grant the least, but he was quiet and polite.
“Sure. Want a sandwich?”He nodded thankfully. I bustled around the kitchen. Well, it seemed like I bustled. “Uh, Alice? Are you okay in there?” Grant peeked around the corner at me. I was holding the peanut butter and trying to open it. “It’s too tight.” I said, but grant walked over and twisted it off easily. “Alice, you seem really tired. I think you should sleep.” I shook my head and grabbed for the jar. “I’m really okay. I drink a lot of coffee.” He shrugged and went to sit on the couch, lacing his hands together. “Are you up for good then?” I asked hopefully. Maybe he could entertain me. “Yeah, I’ll be up for a while.” Grant nodded at the bedroom.
“The others won’t be up for a long time, though. Mace won’t be himself for days.” “Oh.” We sat awkwardly for a bit. “Uh, what’s it like playing drums?” Grant’s face lit up and he leaned forward. “Oh, it’s great! I picked up my first pair of sticks when I was 10, and my dad let me play his old set until it had to be sold.” Grant tightened his lips at the memory. “And I love keeping the beat, zoning out on everything but music, all I can feel are the notes. The drums feel like they’re a part of me, and my hands have a mind of their own. The guys need me, and I love being there for them, keeping track of their lives.”He paused, blinking. “Wow. You really are easy to talk to. Mace was right.”
I smiled. “Thanks.” Mace talked about me...? “Mace wouldn’t tell us what your real story is though. He said you could tell us yourself.” I shrugged and retold the same lie about my past I’d told Mace. “Jeez, I’m sorry. I’ve always considered myself lucky that my dad was so caring.” “You are lucky.” “So, is that why you don’t really let anyone touch you?” I should’ve known not to talk to the quiet one. They notice everything. “Yeah, I guess so. I don’t really like anything unexpectedly touching me.” That part was true. “And you woke up screaming in the middle of the night. It scared the hell out of us.” “Sorry.” I didn’t want to talk about that, so I changed the subject.
“What about you? What’s your story?” For a second I thought he would refuse to tell me, but he sighed and began. “My mom left us when I was seven, broke my dad’s heart. He loved me though, and we were happily living together. Everyday my dad would say this as I was going to school, ‘Grant, I don’t care what you do with your life as long as you remember this-do your best and be nice to everybody.’ So that’s what I live my life on. But when I turned 16 Dad got cancer,” Grant chewed on his cuff, clearly trying to keep control, “and he couldn’t beat it. I was given to an aunt who was a total bitch. She made me sell everything I could have used to remember him by. I left when I turned 18 and never looked back.” Grant gave me a smile. “Kind of like you. I guess we’ve all kind of left something.”
“You’re right.”Grant glanced at the clock. “Damn. It’s nice. We’ve been talking for a while.” He yawned and stood up. “I should go to sleep. Sean and Tyo should be up by tomorrow. Get some sleep.”I waved at him. “Night.” “Night.” When he closed the door behind him I lay down and finally fell asleep.
I dreamed.
I was looking at Jason, who was cowering away from me, eyes wide with fear. “Gwen, please, stop!”I was puzzled. “Jas?” He trembled and backed farther away. “Please Gwen! No!”I reached forwards to comfort him, touching his face. A line of blood welled up where my hand touched and he screamed. “Gwen! No!” I gasped and spun, facing a mirror. I saw a blurry gray mass with blind eyes, razor claws hanging at its side. I inhaled, and the beast did too, opening its mouth to reveal bloody, jagged fangs. Monster. I was a monster. Jason howled with pain behind me, and I woke up.
I’d only slept for two hours. It was 11 at night. I drank some coffee and prepared to stay up alone again. Instead, Sean walked in. “Hey Alice.” He did a double take and looked at my face. “Oh my God. What happened?” I wiped the tears away and tried to smile. “Just a nightmare. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” He shook his head. “I’m hungry.” So I fed him too. He didn’t stay up with me-Sean went right back to bed after he devoured a few Pop Tarts. I remained awake.
Did you know that if you only sleep about three hours a night, you begin to act like a seriously drunk person within four to five days? You even hallucinate. I didn’t know that at all.