Cigarettes & Valentines
.02
January 10th
My hands were cradled in my lap, my fingers overlapping each-other tightly.
I glanced up, my brown eyes going back to him as he sat in the chair, hands gesturing as he tried to explain.
His black hair was a curly mess, as usual.
Though today, he hadn't took the time to straighten and run gel through those unkempt little curls, framing his ivory face.
"I just need some time-alone, you know? Like with American Idiot. I need a little bit of new room, breathing space. To get things sorted out. I don't want to think about the past or the future. I just want to live in right now."
I kept my expression calm, reasoning. For now.
"Billie, I know, but I don't want to live through American Idiot again.
That time pushed our marriage to as far I'd like to take it. It seems like you're going to push it further this time. And, I don't think I want to stick around if that's the case."
His green eyes were everywhere, constantly moving, thinking.
"Adie, no. It's not like that. I'm telling you, I just need a little bit of time to sort my thoughts out, experience a different kind of living for a few months. Work out all the kinks in my songwriting."
My expression was gradually getting less calm. Less patient.
"I'm telling you, I'm not doing this again. A few months? Where to? Back to New York? Why me and the boys stay here, waiting for you to get your shit together?"
I shook my head, not looking at him.
"This is a process, this is something I have to do or I'll drive myself insane." He was adamant, telling me.
" Fine, go. Billie, go ahead." I stood, striding from the living room.
"Just don't expect our marriage to still be intact when you get back."
"Adrienne!"
"Get your shit and go!" I swiftly took the stairs, thankful Joey and Jakob weren't here.
"You're not understanding what I'm trying to say, god damn it!"
He was following me up the stairs.
"I understand perfectly, Billie. D'you understand what I'm saying to you? Our marriage can only be pushed so many times before it breaks and it's over."
"It's not over." He stated, stepping in front of me.
"Just on a break." He added.
I rolled my eyes. "You can't take breaks from a marriage. It's a life-long thing, every minute of every day."
"I'm taking a break from not really our marriage, but, you know, just day-to-day life as it is. I'm just trying to break away from the past and not think about the future. I need time to do that."
I moved past him, into our bedroom.
"Fine. Take all the time you need."
I pulled on my shoes, tugging my black cardigan straight as I exited back out into the hall.
He was standing with a hand in his hair, that look of pouting irritation on his face.
"I'm going to pick up the boys." I stated, not glancing his way as I passed.
"I won't be here when you come back." I heard him say dully, but arrogantly in a way.
I yanked open the front door and left the house.
My hands were cradled in my lap, my fingers overlapping each-other tightly.
I glanced up, my brown eyes going back to him as he sat in the chair, hands gesturing as he tried to explain.
His black hair was a curly mess, as usual.
Though today, he hadn't took the time to straighten and run gel through those unkempt little curls, framing his ivory face.
"I just need some time-alone, you know? Like with American Idiot. I need a little bit of new room, breathing space. To get things sorted out. I don't want to think about the past or the future. I just want to live in right now."
I kept my expression calm, reasoning. For now.
"Billie, I know, but I don't want to live through American Idiot again.
That time pushed our marriage to as far I'd like to take it. It seems like you're going to push it further this time. And, I don't think I want to stick around if that's the case."
His green eyes were everywhere, constantly moving, thinking.
"Adie, no. It's not like that. I'm telling you, I just need a little bit of time to sort my thoughts out, experience a different kind of living for a few months. Work out all the kinks in my songwriting."
My expression was gradually getting less calm. Less patient.
"I'm telling you, I'm not doing this again. A few months? Where to? Back to New York? Why me and the boys stay here, waiting for you to get your shit together?"
I shook my head, not looking at him.
"This is a process, this is something I have to do or I'll drive myself insane." He was adamant, telling me.
" Fine, go. Billie, go ahead." I stood, striding from the living room.
"Just don't expect our marriage to still be intact when you get back."
"Adrienne!"
"Get your shit and go!" I swiftly took the stairs, thankful Joey and Jakob weren't here.
"You're not understanding what I'm trying to say, god damn it!"
He was following me up the stairs.
"I understand perfectly, Billie. D'you understand what I'm saying to you? Our marriage can only be pushed so many times before it breaks and it's over."
"It's not over." He stated, stepping in front of me.
"Just on a break." He added.
I rolled my eyes. "You can't take breaks from a marriage. It's a life-long thing, every minute of every day."
"I'm taking a break from not really our marriage, but, you know, just day-to-day life as it is. I'm just trying to break away from the past and not think about the future. I need time to do that."
I moved past him, into our bedroom.
"Fine. Take all the time you need."
I pulled on my shoes, tugging my black cardigan straight as I exited back out into the hall.
He was standing with a hand in his hair, that look of pouting irritation on his face.
"I'm going to pick up the boys." I stated, not glancing his way as I passed.
"I won't be here when you come back." I heard him say dully, but arrogantly in a way.
I yanked open the front door and left the house.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks for reading! Xoxo