Crash

When I woke up the next morning I felt a strong pair of arms around my waist. I mentally slapped myself as the events of the previous night ran though my mind.

I tried to get out of Josh’s arms, but he stirred and his eyes slowly opened. “Morning, love.”

“Morning.” I mumbled back.

“Trying to leave me, yeah?”

I shrugged. “I’m not too sure.”

“Not letting that happen just yet.” He said as he pulled me back into his chest. I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. I missed this. I missed Josh.

We lay there in silence for a while, just cuddling. Occasionally Josh would kiss me softly on my forehead.

“This is nice.” Josh finally broke the silence.

“What is? Us sleeping together?”

Josh laughed. “Well that was great, but I meant this, right now. Just having you here.”

I smiled and leaned up to kiss him softly. “It is.”

As soon as I pulled away from Josh he pulled me back and kissed me more passionately. We were so caught up in each other we didn’t hear the door open.

“Josh, call Hanna, she’s driv-” Max stopped mid sentence when he saw Josh had someone in bed with Josh. “Tab…uh, I didn’t know…um. Right, well did you hear what I said mate?”

Josh just nodded. Max stood there awkwardly for another few seconds before leaving.

“Hanna?” I asked quietly.

Josh ran a hand down through his hair then down his face. “She’s my…girlfriend.”

“What?” I half yelled at him.

“I’m sorry. I just…”

“Just what? Wanted to get off? Needed a good lay? Are you fucking kidding me Josh! You have a girlfriend?”

“Tab, let me explain.”

“There is nothing to explain!”

He stood up from the bed and let out a sigh. “Yes there is!”

“Like what?”

“Like, I don’t want her.”

“And who do you want Josh?”

“Pretty sure last night made that clear, love.”

I shook my head. “No, all last night did was show me you’re still exactly the same. You’re still a selfish self centered bastard Joshua James.”

“Don’t fucking call me Joshua James. And I’m not selfish. And I’m definitely not self centered.”

“Yes you are. You don’t care about anyone but yourself Josh! You don’t care about anyone’s feelings, including your girlfriends, and mine.”

“Tabby. Listen to me.”

“No Josh. Fuck you. Go call your girlfriend.” I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. When I came back out Josh was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

“Tabatha. Stay please.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I want you to.”

“I’m sure you miss being with someone but, you have a girlfriend, I’m not going to be the girl you have on the side Josh.”

I walked out of his room making sure to slam the door. I stood there for a minute trying to hear if anyone was in the living room. When I didn’t hear anything I walked to the door quickly.

“Leaving so soon?” Dan spoke from the kitchen.

“Jesus Christ Dan. You scared me.”

He chucked to himself. “Sorry. So…you came home with Josh?”

I held up my hand. “Don’t even say it. I know exactly what you’re going to say, so just don’t. Hopefully I’ll see guys around.”

Dan nodded, and went back to making his tea.

Just as I went to open the door Dan spoke again. “He misses you Tab. He’s still in love with you.”

I debated about turning around, but I didn’t. I opened the door and left. I couldn’t get what Dan said out of my head. Those words kept running through my head the whole cab ride back to my apartment. ‘He misses you Tab. He’s still in love with you.’

I wish I believed him. Because I loved Josh too.