Jukka/Jarno (Dudesons) Roots.

I remember the day I moved to Bromley. I was ten years old – a hyperactive, frenzied little girl that preferred her clothes on the floor, rather than on her body. At the time, I didn’t even know what Bromley was. All I knew was that it was a half hour away from London, and from that, I strongly believed I would be living with the Queen.

For the first three days it did nothing but rain. I was miserable. My anticipations of a wonderful new life had been shot down, and the cries of my newly-born sister didn’t help how I was feeling in the slightest. I missed my pigs and I missed my sheep. I missed the rolling hills of the countryside. I missed Seinäjoki.

As the years went on, life became brighter. My parents had landed the careers they had come here for, and I was finally old enough to babysit my two siblings. I eventually reached puberty, however, so stripping down nude was only acceptable in the sheltered security of my own home, rather than more communal places like a theme park, for instance.

Our family remained loving as ever, and we still are today. My parents – who raised us to appreciate closeness, affection, openness, and honesty – are two of the most amazing people I’ve ever come across. We’re still inseparable, although I moved out just over a year ago.

It was my second time ever moving somewhere, and this time I wasn’t fixed on false hopes. I began renting out a small basement apartment by the park with my best friend. It’s fantastic because we’re right by the mall as well. But when a major milestone, such as living on your own, is reached in life, you must take the good with the bad. And right now, in this moment, I am faced with an extremely tough decision.

Anna, my roommate, will be living at the University of Bristol come fall, and I am stuck with the choice to either move back home or venture elsewhere. It would be an easy decision if I had any sense of what I wanted to do with my life. Honestly, I’m twenty-two and headed nowhere.

“What did you want to be as a child?” Anna asks, kindly trying to spark any idea in my mind.

“I’m not really sure I wanted to be anything,” I reply intently. “I just wanted to… be.”

“Take up philosophy!” she suggests, laughing at her personal allusion. She will be studying philosophy in the fall, along with sociology.

“No way,” I chuckle. “As much as I’d love to dorm with you, I’m definitely not the educational type.”

“Maybe you should travel then,” she says after a thought.

“If I travelled, I’d probably just end up back in Finland,” I joke.

“So go to Finland.”



“Let’s see… there’s täti Marja and mummi Neida,” my mother says over the phone, referring to my aunt and my grandmother. “Oh, and your cousin Jarno still lives there too.”

“Wait, you mean I could live with Jarno?” I ask eagerly. My cousin and I used to live near each other, so we were always together as kids.

“Well, you must live with somebody,” she tells me. “It’s too expensive to live on your own.”

I receive Jarno’s long-distance phone number from my mother, and dial it on the cordless kitchen phone. Multiple rings go by, and I almost consider giving up, until the sounds of manic activity flood through the connection.

“Haloo; Jarno,” a male voice addresses me in Finnish, using his first name.

“Jarno! Hi, it’s Leena!”

“I’m sorry, who is this?” he asks. His accent is thick, but his high voice leaves him sounding friendly.

“Your cousin,” I say, skeptically. “Leena Leppälä…?”

“Oh, you want Jarppi!” I sense a smile from his end.

“No, I want Jarno!” I persist, but it’s already too late, and I’m subjected to the sounds of the phone being passed along.

“Yeah, this is Jarppi,” a second male voice presents itself, slightly deeper than the first. It sounds as if he’s just been laughing.

“Hi, I’m calling long distance, and I’m just trying to find Jarno Leppälä,” I say, trying to sound as nice as possible.

“That’s me!” he says cheerfully. “Why? Who’s this?”

“It’s Leena Leppälä. But you said –“

“Leena?! Holy shit!” he chuckles. “There’s another Jarno, so I go by Jarppi now.”

“That makes sense,” I chuckle too, easing up considerably.

We talk about my plans of moving back to Finland for the next short while. To my surprise, Jarppi is the one to suggest that I come live with him. I didn’t even have to ask! He continues to interrupt himself as we converse, however, by screaming, “Aie!” and giggling.

“What the hell’s going on?” I laugh.

“Jukka’s burning me with a fucking hot poker!” he screams again, then laughs.

“Jukka?! You’re still friends with Jukka?!” I beam, recalling the wild and energetic boy from my childhood.

“We are lovers,” Jarppi says very solemnly.

“I’ve missed your sense of humour!” I grin keenly.

“Who said that was a joke?” the smirk in his voice lets me know he’s being sarcastic.

Jarppi and Jukka were best friends from a very young age, and Jukka was there more often than not when Jarppi and I would play together as kids. The last time I recall seeing him is when he slingshot stinging nettles onto my cousin’s bare back.

As Jarppi and I sum up our conversation, we plan to meet at the airport. It’s shocking to realize that autumn will be here in two weeks… and that in two weeks I will have left England for a long time.



A low disruption from the loudspeaker above wakes me up from my nap. I was in such a deep sleep that I almost forgot I was on a plane! The voice overhead lets us know that we’re currently flying over Sweden. The last I remember, we had just reached Denmark. Random awakenings like this always seem to make a long flight longer.

I’m missing my family already. I’ve never been too far away from them. Even when I moved out, our visits were still regular. It was especially hard leaving my siblings. I know my brother, who is fourteen, will be fine without me. The one that I worried the most about, however, was my twelve-year-old sister. I reached out to her the most on my last few days in England, and finally got her to see that this change is a positive one.

At least I transitioned it. It’s not like I suddenly moved almost 2000 kilometres away from my family without any warning. I gained a sense of independence by living alone with Anna before I even considered going back to Finland on my own. And after a lot of contemplating, I’ve come to the decision that it’s the best choice I could’ve made, considering my options!

We stopped in Helsinki for a while before getting back on the plane and finally reaching Seinäjoki. The flight took almost six hours, but the time spent in the air was so worth it now that I’m back home! It’s strange to believe that I’m actually here!

I make my way towards the gate that my cousin specified; casually looking around all the while, trying to find someone that resembles the way he used to look. I exit the gate; stopping in my tracks from the sight in front of me. I burst out laughing as a bulky twenty-five-year-old dances, thrusts and struts his way towards me. He’s holding a large, neon sign over top of his head with my name on it. The worst part, though, is that he’s wearing a pink ballet dress.

One of the straps of the pale pink dress is falling slightly off his shoulder, and I can’t help but think of how well those ruffles go with his facial hair. The entire number is topped off with a blonde wig with braided pigtails and pink ribbons.

“Tervetuloa Suomi!” he bellows, approaching me. I am literally in hysterics. I can’t stop laughing! I can barely muster the courage to look at him for fear of pissing myself!

“Kiitos,” I spit out, barely having the wind to say a single word. My eyes are tearing up and my stomach muscles are killing me. “Kiva mekko,” I say, complimenting his outfit choice. My Finnish is simple, yet still conversational.

“Kiitos, Leena,” Jarppi laughs. We greet each other with hugs at last, and as we walk through the airport he lets me know that his ranch isn’t too far from here, considering we do have to go into the countryside. He pauses for a split second, making me halt, “Let me take that from you!” he says kindly, reaching out to grab one of the bags from my hand.

“Where the fuck is your thumb?!” I laugh, taken aback; handing him the heavier duffel bag.

“In the stomach of a bear,” he tells me.

“A bear?!” Only Jarno... I mean Jarppi.

“The polar type,” he says.

Jarppi and I got along great as kids. We always had excellent chemistry. And now that we are reunited, it’s really like no time has passed. We’re still connecting like no one else! We exit the airport and skim the parking lot, trying to find where he parked.

“I’m really looking forward to driving along those dirt roads,” I smile as we reach his white, weather-beaten Mercedes truck.

“Roads?!” Jarppi laughs. “Where we're going we don't need roads.”

“How reassuring,” I joke. The car lurches forward as he starts to drive.

As we pass through the town, I notice a bunch of teenagers hanging out in front of the ABC!, just like the previous generation did years ago. Coming to the edges of the town, the land becomes more and more scarce. It gets to the point where the walking distance between each building must be at least ten minutes. We pass a lone liquor store alongside the desolate dirt road. At least we know Finland is concerned about drunk driving!

I could hear the activity at the ranch before I could actually see what was going on. Upon arriving, and noticing the state of the place, the first word that came to my mind was ‘mayhem.’ It’s early in the fall, late in the afternoon, and three shirtless guys are having a water fight. According to Jarppi, it’s a pretty tame activity for them!

I immediately notice how open and loving the guys are with each other. It really reminds me of how I am with my family. They’re all running around, spraying and attacking each other with the water, until they end up tackling and hugging one another in a brotherly way. Whoever these guys are, I already believe that we could connect in the same way that Jarppi and I do.

“See, that’s Jukka,” Jarppi tells me, pointing out one of the blondes as we get out of the truck.

Jukka must’ve heard the slam of the car doors, since he immediately stops what he is doing to look towards the source of the commotion. A smile spreads wide across his face, and without hesitation he drops his water gun and begins running in our direction. It’s the first time I’m seeing him in 12 years... and he’s shirtless. I’m caught quite off-guard, but I think he looks great!

“Leena, kultaseni!” Jukka reaches me, soaked and out of breath. He gives me the biggest, wettest hug I’ve ever received. Jukka has become incredibly handsome. I start thinking twice while looking up at him before speaking up.

“Jukka, sinä varttui!” I smile, wanting to say more than just ‘you grew up.’

I really had no idea that Jukka would be so bloody attractive! And it’s obvious that he thinks the same of me, since his soaking arm stays tight around my shoulders as we continue to talk. What’s more is that he keeps calling me ‘darling’ (or kultaseni), as if we previously had a fling or something! I really can’t help but smile like a bandit the entire time.

“So it’s official!” Jukka pulls me closer. “You’re living with us now!”

“Us?” I ask. “You live here too?”

“Me... and Jarno and HP,” he says. “You didn’t know?”

“No idea,” I smile. Jarppi never told me he lived with three other guys, but it’s a beautiful surprise!

“Hey, where did they go?” Jarppi realizes aloud.

“Probably inside, drying off,” Jukka suggests.

As we wait for the other guys to come back outside, Jarppi and Jukka show me around the main areas of the ranch. It’s not the most organized lot – seeing as there are a few broken windows, and the goats are allowed to run free – but it still seems functional in itself. It’s the kind of place that looks like it has everything. Jarppi has deemed it ‘infinis’ – the house of peace, and the house of love.

After having the main house presented to me, the next structure I am shown is the sauna. Pretty much every house in Finland has a sauna. It's pretty common to see the owner use it every single day… with a beer in hand, of course.

And once I’ve had a look-around in the animal barn next to the sauna, we come to another medium-sized building. It’s complete with an overturned car in front of its doors. It’s labeled as the ‘editing barn.’

“Editing barn?” I ask. “What’s that for?”

“Oh, we film and produce our own TV show,” Jukka says casually. “Jarno does all his shit in here.”

“What the fuck?! You have a show?! And that’s the last thing you tell me?!” I laugh, unable to express my emotions in any other way.

“Joo, se on nimeltään Extreme Duudsonit,” Jarppi says. “It’s pretty popular here in Finland!”

“Yeah, life is short, so we break the rules for a living,” Jukka says all sexy-like. “No regrets!”

I do nothing more than smile and shake my head, because that’s all I can do in my astonishment. After having explained to me a bit of what the show is about, the three of us slowly make our way towards the main house. As we wait for the other guys, we stop at the above-ground pool to feel the water.

“Sinun pitäisi mennä uimaan, Leena,” Jukka smirks, suggesting that I go for a swim.

“Ei! Se on liian kylmä!” I laugh, declining fiercely.

“Olet Suomessa!” Jarppi animates his face, comically reminding me of where I am. “You better be ready for the cold!”

I shrug, knowing I can take the brutal Finnish winter. I already went through ten of them, after all! Before anyone has the chance to say anything else, the other two guys come back outside. Jarppi calls them over to us.

“Guys! Tämä on Leena, serkkuni,” Jarppi introduces me excitedly.

“HP,” the brown-haired one smiles and sticks his hand out for me to shake, so I accept.

“Jarno,” the second guy does the same. I immediately recognize him as the one I talked on the phone with when I first called for Jarppi. He’s the tallest and most blonde of all the guys. His soft grin remains fixed in his expression, and his large light blue eyes lock onto mine.

“This is the little girl that used to run around the town naked!” Jukka smirks, spiritedly continuing my introduction and pulling my attention back to the group.

“So you were just like Jukka!” the one called HP grins.

“Except Jukka still does that,” Jarppi jests, causing everyone, including myself, to laugh at the apparent truth. I don’t necessarily think being naked is a sexual thing. It can be, but it’s all in how one presents their self.

“There’s nothing wrong with showing a little flesh,” Jukka winks at me.

“That’s because he only has a little flesh where it matters most,” Jarppi whispers to me, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Shivers run through my body as I giggle along with the group. I was so caught up with meeting everyone that I didn’t realize how chilly it was getting. It doesn’t help that my clothes have been left dampened from Jukka’s wet hug.

“Leena, are you cold?” Jarno asks me perceptively.

“A little,” I smile at him from across our circle. There’s something about him. He sees things like no one else.

Jarno doesn’t say anything further. Instead, without delay, he zips down his sweater and reveals his bare, lightly freckled torso. He takes it off completely and holds it out for me to take.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that!” I say considerately, stunned by such a thoughtful action.

“Take it,” he smiles; his accent bleeding through his words. “I warmed it for you,” he teases.

There’s no way I could refuse. I pull the sweater around my shoulders. It’s a bit too large in the most comfortable way. And Jarno was so right about the warmth. I look at him once more. His body is lean and muscular, and his thin figure is perfectly accented by his fitted jeans. I don’t want to look away. My expression becomes hazy and pleasant.

Jukka must have seen me checking Jarno out, since he says, “If you’re wondering why Jarno is not tanned, it’s because there's no light in the closet.”

For some reason, that joke just killed HP. I really thought he was going to piss himself. He even had to walk away from the group to regain his composure!

I stand back and just observe the guys for a moment. They all have long hair; I dig that. And there’s this amazing positive energy around them. I’m so satisfied with my choice to live here.

“So, Leena,” Jarppi says directly, “we need to find you a place to sleep!”

“You mean you haven’t already?” I ask.

“Well, we thought we could give you this,” he says, motioning towards the free shed beside the main house. “It just needs insulation, and you can decorate it...”

“That’s a great plan,” I say honestly, “but I think I might get lonely with all of you over in the house.”

“Okay, it’s settled,” Jukka puts his arm around me once again, “you’re with me tonight.” I smile up at him as he shows his teeth through his cocky grin.