Frostbite

Lee sat at the foot of my bed hyperventilating. I contemplated asking her why she'd burst into my room with a shit-eating grin on her face, but then realized I honestly didn't give a fuck. So I went back to debating on what to do with my wet hair and whether it was worth it to put a shirt on.

"Mini, you should have heard Nico!" Lee gasped out at just the right time to drown out the best part of I'm Sexy And I Know It. "He was so fucking serious when he said it! My god it was like- it was like. 'I just wanna know how long Benjamin's had a crush on Cage.' " Her voice deepened, doubtfully the correct tone. I've seen this kid around, he was as gay as Jeffree Star riding a rainbow unicorn through a gay pride parade marching through a gay porn store. His voice was not that deep.

I took Lee's momentary impotent state to chew this terrifying thought over. I, Benjamin Fucking Denis goddamn thestry, did not get crushes. I'm a hard core bad ass. I turn up my music until my ears bleed, head bang 'till my neck breaks, shove noise complaints down peoples throats and out their ass, and fuck bitches. I Take hot showers, burn my skin, peel off the top layer, go on with my day, and fuck bitches. I boil water, eat the brick of Ramen, drink the boil water, snort the powder, and then I fuck bitches. Because I'm Benjamin Denis fucking Thestry. And I do not have a crush on on some sissy-ass figure skater.

"Benji." Clary suddenly stood outside the doorway to my bathroom, a bundle of clothes thrust up at my chest. "Put this on and be ready to go in two hours." She demanded.

Before questioning why the fuck she though she could cut out my very pleasurably planed afternoon -all sexual innuendo intended- without so much as even asking, I held up the random bartender outfit she had given me. "Are you trying to tell me something? If so, I have no fucking idea what it is."

"I'm going to that anime convention down at the comic store today, remember? You said you'd drive me." She sighed and gave me a slightly annoyed, pleading look. "You can't bail on me, I don't have anyone else to drive me. I've been working on my Celty custom for, like, a month. Do you know how hard it is to find a full black catsuit that doesn't show any skin?"

As the memory slammed into me, I let out a string of cuss words that shot over Clay and Lee's heads. The only one besides my mother who would ever care if I uttered a curse ran thudding into my room, jumping on Lee and pinning her down as he licked the white off of her.

"Ah! No!" Lee shouted, trying to push off my massive dog, Kade. He was twice the size of her, a bear of a dog, and there was no way she'd get him off without my help.

I stood there and enjoyed it for awhile, letting it beat down the anger that had been so close to spurting out. The comic store was twenty minutes from the house and Garrett, my previously planed thing to do, was ten minutes in the opposite direction. I'd have to drop Clary off first then go to Garrett's and that would mean fifty minutes of driving, give a extra ten for the fucking retards they give license to. A bit of fucking was not enough consolation to drive a hour and have to listen to Garrett breath.

Taking pity on Lee, I picked the giant canine off of her and set him on the bed that he immediately kicked her off of and commanded as his own. "Yeah, I agreed to drive you." I said, still a bit aggravated at myself for forgetting and Clary for letting me. "So why are you handing me a foreplay outfit?"

"It's cosplay, Binji. Paisley bailed on me and I don't want to go by myself." She admitted to me, scratching the back of her head and avoiding any and all eye contact with Lee. "Shizuo Heiwajima is the only outfit I have in your size."

After seeing her face, worried I'd say no and she'd sacrificed some of her pride in front of Lee, I didn't hesitate when I held out my hand. "Give me the wig."



I hate to admit it, but I love cosplayers. Lets face it, most guys in anime and manga look like chicks or run around half dressed with there muscles bulging out of their clothes. I guess while their dealing with death gods and their romance lives, they don't have time to stop by at a thrift store or something and get a few T-shirts a size or two up.

Granted, the guys here were all smaller than their characters, but a lot of them dressed as the mini-clone to their beloved heroins and wore clothes that touched every inch of their skin, showed every bump and every curve. Their attempts to stay in character were kinda cute too. I couldn't deny the eye I had for geeky guys.

"Why are they all staring at me?" I asked as I lifted Clary out of the car. The event didn't just take over the comic store, it had invaded the whole street, and half the eyes around had looked up when my door slammed and hadn't looked away. "Why aren't they staring at you, you're the one with the cat helmet and giant pick."

"Here." Pulling me down to her level, she fixed the wig, tied the bow, slid some glasses onto my face, shoved a cancer stick into my mouth, and gave me the giant pole she had managed to shove into my car. "There, not you don't look like a retard."

I gave her a incredulous look. "Yeah, I look like the retard. O-fucking-kay."

"Whatever, just stay in character and act like the world pisses you off."

"That shouldn't be too hard." I mumbled.

We made our way through the crowd, looking for nothing in particular. Mostly we just commented on people's costumes and agreed that Clary was the most bad-ass Celty out of the two that we saw. She kept commenting on how there were a lot of Izaya Orihara but only me as Shizuo Heiwajima, like I knew what the fuck she was talking about.

While we were commenting on someone's Death Note cosplay, the only anime I knew anything about considering that shit was bad-ass, a brown haired kid wearing glasses and a white coat passed by. He winked at Clary and she let out one of her girlie giggles.

Oh, no, some shrimpy fucking bitch is not hitting on my goddamn sister. I don't give a shit if she giggled, that bastard was hitting on my sister. And it is so fucking obvious that I am standing right fucking next to her, in this goddamn spot talking to her. He just made her interrupted our conversation with a giggle, this bitch just interrupted my fucking conversation. What gives him the fucking right to interrupt my conversation, who the hell does this kid think he is? For all he knows -which probably isn't a lot in the tinny head I'm gonna fucking squash- she could have been my girlfriend, it's not like you can see how old she is in that cat hat and catsuit. Oh, the fucking catsuit! That dick-eating, cock-sucking, mother-fucking, dead-man-walking, pussy-bitch-cunt was sizing up my fucking sister!

Well ain't this some bullshit up in here!

"Benji." Clary blocked me, both hands on my arms as she attempted to push me back, both giant pick and rod discarded on the ground. "Benji, it's the cosplay."

"I know it's the fucking cosplay." I growled as the brown haired kid went on so fucking nonchalantly. "If you weren't wearing fucking cosplay this fucker wouldn't have even bothered." This new realization only pissed me off more, if that was possible.

"No Benji." Her voice strained as she tried to use the friction of her boots and the ground to her advantage. "In the anime, Celty Sturluson and Shinra Kishitani are together. He's Shinra, I'm Celty, he was just kidding."

"Fine." I gritted, still a bit peeved but turning around so Clary could relax.

"God, Benji." She breathe almost breathlessly, -as if holding me back was that much of a task- took off the helmet, and picked up our fallen objects. "Even if he was interested -in Clary me, not Celty me- that was a bit much, don'tchathink? Damn, just because you didn't get any today doesn't mean I can't."

I let out a little chuckle, trying to ignore the slight rage that brought me and focusing on the joke. "Right, like you'd ever get any."

"Pft, whatever. If I didn't have standards, I'd be getting more than you."

"Hey," I looked down at her and earned a 'what you lookin' at?' head roll. "What are you implying? I have standards."

"Really Benji? Really? I've seen you size up a figure skater. Not that I dislike figure skaters, but that demolished what little bit of standards you had to begin with."

"Wait, hold up! I never sized up any figure skater!" What the fuck is this chick talking about?

"Never my ass! That new-ish kid, Cage. I see him in the hallway a lot and we have the same lunch period. I do go to the same school as you guys, I know who he is. Plus, he hangs out with Juliet a lot, and your eyes are always glued to him. A naked parade of male models could march by and you wouldn't even noticed."

What the fuck!? Does Everyone think I have a crush on Micajah? I do not get fucking crushes, I'm not a fourteen-year-old girl like Clary. "I bet no one in that parade would be sizing you up." I told her.

"Whatever! Don't change the topic." She caught me. The shit-eating grin on her face would have pissed me off if she didn't look too happy and pretty with it. "So when are you planing on working your suave-ass moves?"

"Bite me. I'm not hitting on a figure skater. Like I said, I'm not Shinra, I have standards."

"Fuck you too." She laughed as she playfully pushed me to the side. "Just let me know when you guys head up to Brokeback."

"Actually, I have a trip scheduled next week, you can come along with Lee."

She laughed again and flipped her hat-hair dramatically. "Please, like Lee could get any of this."

"Kade could get that if he wanted to. Which I don't see why he would." I was pleasantly surprised when she shoved me off to the side, though she probably only moved me since we were walking. "Oh, and just to get this straight, I will make it my personal duty to make sure you don't get any." As I said it, a mob of black haired clones in black jackets came into sight, stopping to point at Clary.

"What are they?" I asked, about to get pissed at people hitting on my sister again.

Clary backed away, helmet back on and hands and pick held up in surrender. "They're Izaya Orihara." I could hear the smirk in her voice. "They're after you, not me."

Soon I found myself being literally chased by a pack of wild men.... geeky boys. Clary was nowhere in sight and suddenly a hour commute for ass didn't seem like such a bad trade.