Looking For The Words

I'm absolutely dreading the conversation that is undoubtedly waiting for me in the morning, but I really just can't bring myself to care, not while Everest is in my arms. Somehow the time passes without either of us really realizing, and before long, it's almost one in the morning. 

We make sure the fire is fully and safely out before heading inside. I walk him up to his floor and hug him tightly. 

"I'm so happy I have you back." I murmur.

He smiles and runs a hand through my hair. "I'm happy too. Lucas, whatever happens with your parents, you know I'm here whenever. I can't promise that everything will be okay with them but-"

"You're here." I finish. "I know. I love you so much."

He smiles but raises an eyebrow. "Square one, remember?" 

"Yeah, but I do love you. Now that I can, I plan on telling you every chance I get." 

Everest rolls his eyes but he leans up and pecks my lips quickly. "I love you too."

And with that, he disappears into his room, leaving me wanting more kisses. He said square one. Baby steps. I can do this, I know I can. At least I hope I can. I have him back now and I refuse to screw this up. 

My door has something taped to the front of it and when I get closer, I see that it's an envelope. With a raised eyebrow I grab the envelope and go into the room. With the door shut safely behind me, I turn the envelope over in my hands and tear it open. Inside I find a plane ticket to Chicago. First thing tomorrow morning. 

There's also a note. 

Lucas, we'll meet you in the lobby at 6AM.

I recognize my mothers elegant scrawl and anger flares up in my stomach. Without really thinking, I storm out of my room and down the hall before knocking on my parents door violently. The door swings open, revealing my mother in her black silk nightgown. 

"Lucas! Keep it down! Do you have any idea how late it is? Don't you think you've embarrassed us enough for one night?" She scolds. Usually I'd shrink back and apologize but I remember the promise I made to Everest. I need to stand up to them.

I push past my mother in order to find my father. This was his idea, I'm positive of it. He's sitting in the over stuffed armchair that's settled in front of the fireplace. I stand in front of him and cross my arms over my chest after tossing the envelope in his direction. 

"What is this?" I demand.

"That's your plane ticket home. We're leaving tomorrow morning." He says nonchalantly. 

"We've still got Christmas and New Years." I protest, listing the first holiday that's 48 hours away. 

"Well, you've caused a sticky situation that must be taken care of immediately."

"What the hell dad? I'm a grown man. I can and will do whatever I want." I say determinedly.

"Do I have to remind you of the conversation we had last year about the same boy?" He shoots me a death glare but I stand my ground.

"No, I remember it perfectly. What I'm asking you is if you heard what I said to that 'boy' a few hours ago?" I step closer to my father and lean down a bit so we're almost eye level. "I don't care about my trust fund or my job. I've saved enough money to be more than okay for a while if you cut me off. I don't care about that stuff if I can't have Everest."

"Listen to yourself." My mother scoffs. "That boy is not only a male, but he's the son of the inn keepers!"

"First of all mother, that boy has a name. Second, yeah, he's a guy. I'm gay. You already know that. And lastly, I don't care about his status. He could live on the street and I'd still love him with everything I have. He makes me happy in a way I've never been. I refuse to let you take that away from me again." My mini rant lingers in the air, making the tension thicker and thicker until my dad speaks up.

"You truly are a Carlyn. Stubborn to the core. Look, Lucas, I was serious about what I said. If you choose this then you're cut off like your sister. The truth is that you're just too good of an employee to fire you for this, so you can keep your position in the firm. Other than that I refuse to acknowledge a son who's so disobedient."

I sigh and stare at him for upwards of five minutes. "Fine. If that's how it has to be then so be it."

I move to leave the room but mother steps in front of me, an almost pleading look on her face. "Lucas, please, think about what you're doing, what yore giving up. Is this boy really worth it?"

"Everest is worth so much more than the judgement you two place on him." I answer. "I'd give him anything and everything I could. Mom, can't you just be happy for me? I found a man who makes me happy, who I love and who loves me back."

"I . . . Lucas, just . . . just take the ticket. You don't have to decide right this second, okay? Your father and I are leaving tomorrow. If you meet us in the lobby at 6 then this can all be forgotten. If not . . . "

I nod and take the envelope from her before retreating back to my own room. I take a quick shower and crawl into my bed, setting the alarm clock on the nightstand for 5:30 before allowing myself to relax. Tomorrow will be stressful, I know it. I just hope I'm doing the right thing.