Looking For The Words

Every year my mother insisted that the whole family spend a day of our vacation at the Rockefeller Center ice rink. She'd rent it out for a day and throw an extravagant party for all her elitist friends. It was super expensive and pretty much secured our status for the rest of the year.

It's probably the one and only party Mallory and I ever actually enjoyed. We loved being on the ice so much. We loved the energy of the place and we loved that we didn't have to talk to anyone as long as we were on the ice.

When my parents disowned Mallory a lot of things changed. Mom still threw the parties but I never enjoyed them. I never even put on a pair of skates. It's been five years, I think.

I don't know why though. I think all the fun was just... not there anymore. I didn't care for it. Now, though, now I have a chance to get that piece of me back and I have a chance to have Everest be a part of that. I don't know if he knows how much it means to me but that's okay. 

We get to the rink and Steven is waiting outside the doors for us. "Lucas! Long time no see!"

"Hey man, how is everything?" I greet, shaking his hand and drawing him in for a quick 'bro hug'. 

"Good, good. Who's this?"

"This is my boyfriend, Everest. His parents own the Lanser Inn up the mountain." I explain. "Ev, this is Steven. He was my roommate in business school."

"Oh? I thought you were a trainer."

"I am." Steven laughs. "What Lucas didn't tell you is that I dropped out sophomore year. Harvard isn't where I belong, you know? This suits me much more." He says, unlocking the door and leading us inside.

"Hey man, thanks for this." I say, grabbing the skates he slides over the counter and handing a pair to Everest. 

"No problem. Anything for an old friend."

"You too. Seriously. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to call. I'm moving right up the street from here." 

Steven tells us where he'll be when we're through and leaves us to our own devices. I step onto the ice first and skate around a bit to remind my body how to do this before skating over to my boyfriend. He grasps my hand tightly and skates with me into the middle of the ice. 

"Are you a veteran skater?" He questions.

"You could say that." I shrug, smiling. He rolls his eyes and slips a little. "I take it you're not?"

"I haven't been since I was five." He admits.

"Don't worry, love. I won't let you fall."



After ice skating I take Everest out to a nice dinner before taking him back to the Inn. He walks straight into my room as if it's his own. That simple action makes a feeling of adoration swell up inside me. God, I don't think I could love him anymore than I already do.

"Everest I have something to ask you." I say hesitantly. Even though I know I don't have anything to worry about, I'm still nervous to ask him to come to Chicago with me. I'm not completely sure why but part of me thinks he'll say no.

Ev senses my unease and kisses my nose cutely. He pulls me down onto the bed and takes my hand. "What is it? Why do you look so nervous?"

"Okay, see, I have to go back to Chicago . . ." I trail off.

His face falls. I can practically see the memories of me leaving him last year run through his head and he looks at me confusedly. "But I thought-"

"No, baby, I am staying, dont worry about that. I'd never dream of leaving you again. I have to go back to tie up lose ends. Clear out my desk at the office and pack up everything at home, you know? And Mallory is in Chicago until the day after New Years so I want to visit with her."

"So we won't be able to spend New Year's Eve together?" He asks, disappointment coloring his tone.

"See, that's what I wanted to ask you. I want you to come with me. I want you to see my house and where I work. Well, used to work. I wanna rub it in my dad's face that I'm actually happy now. And I want you to meet James and Tyler for the first time and I know you wanna see Mallory too and-" 

"You want me to meet your dog?" He asks.

"What?" I blink, caught off guard. 

"Your dog. You want me to meet Tyler?" 

"I mean, yeah. He's gonna be around now and I want you to like him." I say with a shrug. 

Everest laughs and rolls his eyes. "You and your dog."

"Hey, he's my baby. But thats not the point! Will you come with me?" 

He seems to consider my proposal for a second, a thousand different emotions running through his eyes. Finally, Everest nods his head and smiles. "I'd love to."

"Really?" I grin happily.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. I just- I didn't think you'd want to." 

"Luc, spending New Year's Eve with you is definitely something I want." He murmurs, looking up at me through his eyelashes.

I kiss him hard and enjoy his fingers threading through my hair. He leans back on the bed and pulls me on top of him before breaking the kiss with a smile.

"What's got you all smiley?" I ask, pecking his lips.

"You're taking me with you when you leave this time." He sighs.

"I made you a promise that I'd never leave you again and I meant it in every sense. I mean, I know how to give you your space but-"

"I know what you mean." Everest stops me and kisses me again. "And I love you for it."

"I love you too. Uh, I was hoping we could book a flight for tomorrow night?" 

"That sounds perfect. Just enough time to convince my dad to let me have off and to pack." He grins.

Without anything really being decided, we decide to get ready for bed and curl up together under the covers. I let him pick a movie from pay-per-view and he curls up under my arm, resting his cheek on my chest. This is what I have to look forward to, hopefully for the rest of my life. There's nothing that I want more except maybe for Tyler to be curled at our feet and an occupied bassinet at the side of the bed. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's just incredibly easy to picture a future with the man by my side.