Status: Attackative
Looking For The Words
We can't get past the "how are you?"s
No one likes to face their past mistakes.
Most people just hope they can forget about them and that everyone else will have forgotten about it as well. But sometimes, you're forced to face them... and then most people would still just run from them.
I wish I could say that I was braver than most and could face my fears, but... I'm not.
If I could, I'd be running in the exact opposite direction of the inn before the Carlyns had a chance to arrive. But I couldn't do that.
The inn wasn't only my job, it was my home, and my family. I couldn't just run away, as much as I wanted to.
I was making the beds in a guest room to get it ready for a couple arriving the next day when I heard a flurry of activity coming from the front door. I peeked up at the clock and saw it was about 4, when the Carlyns were set to be arriving.
Even though the customary greeting involved the whole family and going downstairs to day hello and allow them to feel welcomed, but I honestly couldn't care less about policy right about now. I was going to delay seeing Lucas as long as possible.
...
Later that night, dinner was served for those who wanted it and I was deliberately doing everything in my power to prevent going into the dining room and having to face the Carlyns. Mr. and Mrs. Carlyn always looked at me like gum on the bottom of their shoes, and I had no idea what Lucas would do when he saw me.
And I had no idea what I would do when I saw him.
I'd worked out hundreds of what I would do when I saw him. I'd worked out hundreds of scenarios and dozens of speeches telling him how horrible he was as a person and how much he hurt me. I prepared even more speeches telling him how much better off I was without him, which were basically all bullshit.
I don't know why I assumed that I'd never see him again, or that he wouldn't come back this year, but it seemed like common courtesy to stay away.
Seriously, what right did he have, showing up as if it was just another year? He's a grown adult. He could have stayed home and no one would have minded. He doesn't spend any time with his parents when he's here anyway.
"Everest, are you okay?"
I looked up to see who'd come into the laundry room and rolled my eyes when I saw Lucas.
"Save it." I said, pushing past him out into the hallway.
"Ev-"
"Seriously, Lucas." I said. "Leave me alone. You obviously didn't want to talk to me all year, so why talk to me now?"
"Please, just listen to me."
"Look, I have work to do." I said, and walked up into the attic, closing the door behind me as I went.
If he wanted to make amends, he'd have to try harder than that.
Most people just hope they can forget about them and that everyone else will have forgotten about it as well. But sometimes, you're forced to face them... and then most people would still just run from them.
I wish I could say that I was braver than most and could face my fears, but... I'm not.
If I could, I'd be running in the exact opposite direction of the inn before the Carlyns had a chance to arrive. But I couldn't do that.
The inn wasn't only my job, it was my home, and my family. I couldn't just run away, as much as I wanted to.
I was making the beds in a guest room to get it ready for a couple arriving the next day when I heard a flurry of activity coming from the front door. I peeked up at the clock and saw it was about 4, when the Carlyns were set to be arriving.
Even though the customary greeting involved the whole family and going downstairs to day hello and allow them to feel welcomed, but I honestly couldn't care less about policy right about now. I was going to delay seeing Lucas as long as possible.
...
Later that night, dinner was served for those who wanted it and I was deliberately doing everything in my power to prevent going into the dining room and having to face the Carlyns. Mr. and Mrs. Carlyn always looked at me like gum on the bottom of their shoes, and I had no idea what Lucas would do when he saw me.
And I had no idea what I would do when I saw him.
I'd worked out hundreds of what I would do when I saw him. I'd worked out hundreds of scenarios and dozens of speeches telling him how horrible he was as a person and how much he hurt me. I prepared even more speeches telling him how much better off I was without him, which were basically all bullshit.
I don't know why I assumed that I'd never see him again, or that he wouldn't come back this year, but it seemed like common courtesy to stay away.
Seriously, what right did he have, showing up as if it was just another year? He's a grown adult. He could have stayed home and no one would have minded. He doesn't spend any time with his parents when he's here anyway.
"Everest, are you okay?"
I looked up to see who'd come into the laundry room and rolled my eyes when I saw Lucas.
"Save it." I said, pushing past him out into the hallway.
"Ev-"
"Seriously, Lucas." I said. "Leave me alone. You obviously didn't want to talk to me all year, so why talk to me now?"
"Please, just listen to me."
"Look, I have work to do." I said, and walked up into the attic, closing the door behind me as I went.
If he wanted to make amends, he'd have to try harder than that.
♠ ♠ ♠
And they speak! Everest's a pissy little spitfire, isn't he?My hair is purple! Happy Halloween!
Sorry this is late. I went to Rocky Horror Picture Show last night and hung out with friends/got dressed up beforehand, so all thoughts of updating were gone from my mind... There's something very freeing about yelling "Asshole" and "Slut" at the top of your lungs...
Tell me how you liked it?
<3 Casey