Looking For The Words

Lucas’ presence at the inn was unsettling to say the least.

I was trying my hardest to prevent ever having to be in the same room as him, peeking into rooms before I went in, just to be sure. It was generally pretty easy to do, except for the fact that he stubbornly refused to go skiing with the rest of his family. I don’t know why. If it was to see more of me, then that plan backfired. All it did was make me take over most of the routes up to the mountain. Lucas really didn't think this one through.

I got out of the van and locked it up before heading upstairs. I’d just gotten back from the last run before the lifts opened and there wouldn’t be anyone else leaving for the day. Most people wanted to get there early and be the first on the fresh powder.

Mr. and Mrs. Carlyn had been on the last shuttle and, despite my very polite “have a nice ski” when they got out of the van, they didn’t say one word to me. They’d had something against me ever since last year.

Lucas and I had been careful never to do anything where his parents could see. According to him, he loved me, but his parents would never accept us. Why that matters when he’s already out of the house and living on his own, I have no idea, but I went along with it. I pretty much went along with anything Lucas asked. Like Mr. Evans said when he first saw me this year, we’d been wrapped around each other’s fingers.

But even though we did everything we could to stop them finding out, I have a feeling they could tell something was up. Even if they didn’t think we were together, I was not the kind of person they wanted Lucas to be friends with. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was, in comparison to them, poor, lived in an inn and wasn’t shy about my sexuality. They’d seen a couple boyfriends come and go before Lucas and I stated talking, and they did not approve.

Whatever the reason was, they were not happy about how much time Lucas and I spent together, and they didn't’ even know about it half of the time.

I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that there are some people in the world who you just can’t please, no matter what. I went to hang the keys to the van up on the peg next to the door, but my dad called out, stopping me.

“Hey, Ev, you’re not done quite yet. Go back out and fire up the van, would you? We’ve got a late one.”

“Really?” I said. “Who?”

“Dunno.” he said. “Paul just told me not to let you get away before you took one last person up.” Paul was the activities director that we’d hired once the inn started gaining more commercial appeal, and he was a great guy, practically family.

“Okay then.” I said, rolling my eyes slightly and grabbing the keys back from the hook. “I’ll be out in the van. Just tell whoever it is to hurry it along, or they won’t be able to get on the slopes before the crazy people get there.”

“Yeah, I will. Don’t worry about it.” he said. “Look, just do this one last run and you can take a 2 hour lunch break today.”

“Like I couldn’t do that every day if I wanted to.” I scoffed.

“No, you couldn’t. Because despite the fact that you are, indeed, family, we still pay you for this and we can stop paying you the moment you start slacking off.”

I smiled and ran over to the van, starting the engine and waiting for it to heat up. It was pretty cold outside, even with my gloves, coat and scarf. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, having lived here my entire life, but still. It’s ridiculously cold when it gets to be winter.

“Hey, thanks for making an exception.” a slightly breathless voice said as someone clambered into the passenger seat.

My head turned to the right so fast I very nearly got a severe case of whiplash when I heard that familiar voice. “Lucas.”

“Hey, Ev.”

“Lucas, seeing as you ditched me without a word, I think nicknames are inappropriate. Don't you?” I said icily, turning back to face the road. “And if you wouldn’t mind, the front seat is only used for passengers when there are too many to fit in the back.”

“Well, then, why is it called the passenger seat?” he said.

“I don’t know. How about we rename it? Now it’s the ‘Lucas better get out of me or Everest will send his ass into next Tuesday’ seat. Happy?”

“Look, it’s a 5 minute drive, I hate feeling like someone’s driving me around, and I’ll stay quiet.” he said.

I looked over at him suspiciously. “Not a word.” I hissed. “The first word I hear, I’m tossing you out of the van while I'm speeding down the mountainside. Got it?”

He smiled and nodded, clearly understanding that his voice was not something I wanted to hear at that moment.

The drive went on in silence for a few minutes, but Lucas had never been one to keep quiet. Nor had I.

“I mean, where do you get off, asshole? How did it seem okay to you to just leave me here, waiting for your call, and never contact me again? And then you show up here like nobody’s business, smiling and wanting to talk and using fucking nicknames? How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Do you expect me to be welcoming, and charming and sweep you up into my arms like no time has passed at all? You sick fuck, how can you just do this to people?”

“Ev-”

“No!” I yelled, screaming at him now, not just being a sarcastic bitch. “You don’t get to speak. You had your chance to talk. 365 days worth of time to say something, anything to let me know that you still thought about me every once in a while. But no, you were too busy being mommy and daddy’s golden boy to even think to pick up the phone! Or type out a fucking text. It’s not as if it was a huge commitment I was asking for. I just wanted you to talk to me, damn it! To let me know that I didn’t make a huge mistake by trusting you! But no, I can’t even get that? And now you just get in the van and act as if we’re best friends! You asshole!”

“Everest, watch-”

“What did I say about speak-”

Unfortunately, my rant was cut off by a large pile of snow at the corner of one of the turns. I’d been careful earlier to make a tighter turn than usual due to the snow bank encroaching on the small road, but in the midst of my emotions coming out with a force that would make Niagara Falls jealous, I’d forgotten about the fucking snow bank. Perfect.

The van’s airbags had deployed, but I wasn’t hurt in any way, nor was Lucas unfortunately. I pushed the airbag back in and away from my face, breathing hard and shaking with pent up frustration.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down, clenching onto the steering wheel to stop my hands from shaking.

“I tried to-”

“What. did I say. about. speaking?” I said slowly, forcing the words out through gritted teeth.

I sat at the wheel and took deep breaths, using all of my strength to stop me from reaching over and throttling Lucas until he couldn’t open that big mouth of his ever again. Instead of thinking about that, I focused on what I would have to do next. The van was getting older, and even though my dad and I kept it running really smoothly, I doubted it would be able to make it back after this. I’d have to walk back to the inn and get the truck to tow it back to the garage where my dad and I could fix it up. There was no use calling a tow truck. After the snow last night, they’d be booked solid all day long.

“Okay.” I said, pulling the keys out of the ignition and pulling my coat in tight, preparing for the cold that awaited me when I opened the door. “Get out of the car.”

“What? Aren’t you going to call a tow truck?”

I looked at him with fire in my eyes and he shut up and got out of the car. He may be a jerk, but he’s not stupid; he knows when not to mess with me.

“Start walking.” I said, beginning to trudge down the spiraling mountain road. “And keep up. I’m not waiting around in the snow for your sorry, spoiled ass.”

This is just my luck, I thought as I walked with my hands tucked beneath my upper arms. Just when I finally manage to avoid Lucas for more than three days, I get saddled with him for a 10 -minute walk through snow.

Great.