If I Could Grow Wings.

I sat waiting at the lunch table for another 5 minutes for Destery before he showed up.

“Hey.” Destery sat down across from me. “There’s a party going on tonight, want to come with?”

“Fuck yes! I want to get so shit-faced I don’t remember anything the next day!”

“Well, good, because I want to do the same!”

Lunch period ended and I got up from the table. “Let me go get my jacket and we’ll skip the last class.” I just nodded and walked with Destery to his locker.

“Okay but I have to be home by 1:50 or my mom will think something happened to me.” I sighed annoyed.

“No problem, my boy! Let’s go!” Destery said as soon as he got his hoodie. We both walked out the school and started for his house.

“So want to watch a movie when we get to my house?” I nodded and pulled my hoodie tighter; it was a little chilly out today.

We got about half way to Destery’s house before my mom called me on my cell phone.

“Hi Mum.”

“Sweetie I’m coming to get you because you’re Dad is going to take us out for the afternoon!”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m coming to get you at school so we can go out to lunch with you’re Dad! I’m on my way now.”

“You know I don’t want shit to do with him!”

“Watch your language Frank! And I know, but just give him another chance okay?”

“Fine I’ll go to this lunch thingy, but I am NOT talking to him whatsoever!”

”I guess that’s okay! I’ll see you when I pick you up at school! I’ll be there in 10-15 minutes.”

“Bye, I love you Mum!”

”Love you too sweetie!” I hung up my cell and put it in my pocket.

“Well, our plans are ruined; I have to go to lunch with my parents. I guess I’ll just see you at the party? Text me the details and all.” Destery nodded and I walked away, towards my school hoping to get there before my Mum got there.

Thankfully, I did get there before her, a minute before her. I jumped in the car. Silence all the way home besides Misfits playing in the background. That’s the thing I love about my mom though! She is into all the same music as me! Even the newer Alternative, Rock, and Metal! I actually got my love for the Misfits from her. The band was her favorite when she was younger and the band still is.

As soon as I got home, I ignored my father sitting on the couch expecting a hug from me and got ready for lunch with the “family”. Family my ass. My Mum and I – that’s my family. My father is not my family and never will be!



Let’s just say lunch was very awkward. I stayed completely silent throughout the whole time. Even when my Mum tried to start up conversations, I just ignored them and pushed the food around on my plate to make it look like I was eating. I didn’t want anything that my father brought or anything to do with him. We all finished pretty quickly seeing as no one really talked.

“Well, you’re Dad –“

“Father! He’s not my fucking Dad! He was not there for me! A Dad is someone that’s there for their child and he wasn’t so he’s not my fucking Dad! He’s my goddamn father!” I jumped up out of my seat and yelled.

I felt bad for yelling at my Mum like that, I never yelled at her before, not even when I was younger, my Mum and I always got along so well. I decided fuck it; I’m out of here and walked out the restaurant.

I pulled my phone out and texted my mom. –I’m really sorry for that Mum, it’s just I don’t know! But I’m sorry and I would apologize in person, you know face to face, but I can’t be around him, it just hurts too much. Maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive him for not being in my life, but not right now! I’m really sorry! I’m going to be at a friend’s house, just text me for dinner okay? I love you!-

I really hope my Mum isn’t too pissed off or upset with me, because I really am truly sorry for what I did to her.

I ended up just walking around until I got a text from Destery. – Meet me at the park; we’ll walk from there to get to the party.

Thankfully for my lazy ass the park was less than 2 blocks away, and I got there quickly to meet Destery.

Hanging at the park with Destery was pretty awesome, but I had to get home 10 minutes after I got there, so we just walked around in silence for those 10 minutes before I had to leave.

Once I got home I ran upstairs and turned my laptop on to see I had a message and chatted with Gerard for a bit, before my Mum called me down for dinner.

ShortyMcMidget - Hey cutie<3

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - Oh hi. Cutie; I like that. :3

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - 'Sup? (:

ShortyMcMidget - Not much just bored.

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - Aw, I could help you with being bored. :3

ShortyMcMidget - Thanks, I'll be looking forward to that. There's this boy named Destery at my school, I really like him, but I'm not really sure whether he's gay or not. So how should I go about this?

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - Well does he know you're gay?

ShortyMcMidget - No, he doesn't, we're honestly not really friends yet, but I'm working on becoming friends with him, I'm going to a party this weekend with him.

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - Oh, well don't tell him you're gay. It'll probably end badly... Like, he might get upset and not want to be friends.

ShortyMcMidget- Well, then how will I find out if he's gay so, you know I can make my move on him?

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - Well don't ask him.. That could also end badly. I'm bad with stuff like this, Frank.

ShortyMcMidget - So I should just not act on my feelings at all. =(

Pumpkinpiemothafucka- Well, no.. Just, do whatever feels right.

ShortyMcMidget - Thanks Gee, I will. So, I have to go eat dinner. Will you be on later?

Pumpkinpiemothafucka - K bye!

ShortyMcMidget - Bye Gerard, it was fun talking, thanks for the advice!

I signed off sadly and went to eat dinner. 'What was I going to do? I had feelings for two amazing people, and it was hard, if I pick the one I like the most, I would most likely never see him, and it'd just kill me knowing that I'm with someone I may never meet, and if I pick the one that I can see all the time, I would be breaking my heart by not being with the one I like the most. What should I do? I knew I had to ask my mom about this during dinner.

"Mom, I have a problem..." Is the first thing I said as soon as I sat down at the table.

"What's that sweetie?" she started digging into her food, and I just pushed mines around on the plate, not really hungry.

"See I like two people, one lives far from here, and one lives close, but I like the one who lives far away, only I may never meet that person, and the other person, I'm interested in, I'm not so sure is interested in me. What do I do?"

"Honestly, follow what your heart wants, go for that person, because, your heart is always right sweetie, and it wants what it wants so let it have it. If it’s the one farthest away, then ask that person out, you never know, you may just meet that person, and your feelings for the other person, may only be just an attraction, you may not really like that person for their self, but because you find that person beautiful or gorgeous."

I really listened to my mum’s words, letting them sink in before replying to her. “How do I know though? How do I?”

“Well, I can’t answer that for you, only you will know, only you’re heart can tell you. And it won’t take forever. You’ll soon know.” And with that my mum got up from the table and started to clean up the table. I helped her being the gentlemen I am.

By the time I was done, I had just enough time to jump in the shower, change, do my make-up and fix my hair, before I got the text.

’1301 Tulip street 9:30, be there by 9:35, they won’t accept anyone after 9:35. ;)

I threw on my shoes and was out the door by 9:15; thankfully I had enough time to get to Tulip street, now all I needed was to find the house, which was not hard at all as the party was in the only house that had music thumping from it extremely loud.

Saying I was a little nervous would be an understatement, as this would be my first of many parties, and the first time, I would be in a house with this many people, I didn’t know how to act or even socialize with these people. Would there be drugs? Who am I kidding of course there would be, it’s a party full of teenagers, there would also be alcohol. The biggest question is, would I drink or do any of the drugs? I hadn’t drank once in my whole life, not even when I was younger and my Mum would offer me just a little tiny sip of her beer, like what was up with parents, and always giving their kids a little sip of there beer when they were younger? Was it in hopes that when we grew older, we wouldn’t drink having tasted the beer at a younger age and not liking it? But my mind is wondering back to the question at hand. Would I?

I wasn’t totally sure, as I didn’t think that far ahead into the party. But if it came to it, I hope I just make the right decision, and that’s no. But we’ll see.

I finally made it to the house and knocked on the door, and right away it opened. “Welcome in, have fun, and don’t get too fucked up, you can’t crash here!” I just smiled. ‘What a fun welcome greeting.’ For the partying having just started, it was already in full swing.

I looked in search for Destery, only to find him hung up on a girl from my English class, instead of crying or saying anything to him, I searched for the nearest thing to relieve the little bit of pain I felt from seeing him with the girl, guess that answers my question anyways. I found a new non-opened bottle of Jack, and went in search of a bedroom that was unoccupied. Once I found one, I opened the bottle, and just started downing it, not even caring it stung my throat extremely bad, I truly wanted to get so fucked up, that on my way home, I wouldn’t be able to walk straight. I slowed down on the bottle finally after drinking it non stop for about 10 minutes.

For most of the party, I just sat there sipping on the Jack and picking loose threads on my jeans, all alone with my drunken thoughts. By the time the party was over at 2am, I was so drunk, I had almost fell down the steps a number of times, and I fell out the door landing on a very hard cement ground.