My Life as a Navy Wife

Jack worried about me a lot in the days after I lost Adrian. He called me frequently to check on me and then told me that he would be coming down to visit for a week. He didn’t tell me the dates, instead asked to speak to my mother and organised things in secret with her.

I was sitting on the couch one night about a month later, wrapped tightly in Adrian’s favourite jacket, watching The Boondock Saints and drinking Jameson and lemonade, which had been his favourite movie and favourite drink. Lukas called me and we were on the phone together, he didn’t approve of my drinking habits, the fact that I was smoking heavily again, that I didn’t eat and if I did it was only a couple of slices of bread or that all I ever did was mope around the house in Adrian’s old clothes. We had a fight and he broke up with me, telling me that he just couldn’t handle knowing that I was on a one way road to a cold steel slab and didn’t want to be around to see me keep so strongly to that path. He hung the phone up on me and I dropped my mobile, sinking to the floor and pulling Adrian’s clothes tighter around my deathly thin frame. I pulled at my black, dying hair as I lost it completely and blacked out.

As I came too later on I felt that I was being gently cradled in the arms of a stranger. This stranger was stroking my hair and I felt as tears dropped onto my face. I opened my amber eyes and looked up into a pair of amazing green eyes, my mouth formed an o shape and I sat up in his lap. Pulling him into as tight a hug as my frail form would let me. He hugged me back, obviously trying not to snap me. I laughed and looked at him again, my entire body on edge, adrenaline flooding through my limbs, my heart skipping beat after beat. Jack is here, after seven years were in the same room, after seven years I’m holding him once again. I place my head on his shoulder and let the tears flow. I sob and sob, tears flow for Adrian and for every year that Jack and I had been apart, for the fact that Lukas had lost faith in me, that I had lost faith in myself. I look up at Jack’s face again and admire how he has aged and how it had changed to form this 18 year old sitting underneath me. He looks down at me and does something I couldn’t believe at the time. He places a soft kiss onto my lips.

“I love you Jacqueline Elouise Martin, so very, very much,” Jack whispers against my lips.

“I love you too Jack Joshua Kelley.” I reply, kissing him, covering every inch of his face with kisses. Seven years of pent up emotion, let flood in those few minutes we were sitting on the couch. We sat there, completely at peace for a few minutes before he broke the silence.

“I broke up with Grace a month ago Jackie,” he confesses and I look at him puzzled.

“Lukas broke up with me tonight, cause he doesn’t want to be around to watch me die,” I begin sobbing again, “I’m dying Jack, I’m letting my body become how I feel.”

“Oh sweet heart, I’ll help you out of this, no matter how long it takes I’ll get you back on your feet, beginning with some dinner, come on I’ll cook you something light to eat,” he picks me up with ease, my once curvy 5 foot 9 inch figure of 64kg now only just hitting 53.7kg, “How much have you had to smoke and drink today?”

“Umm that bottle and packet were both only opened this morning,” I tell him pointing to an empty bottle of vodka and a pack of cigarettes which only has two left, just enough to get my through the night.

“Hmm well tomorrow I only want you to have half the packet, each time I have one you can have one,” he tells me, “Also when it comes to alcohol you can only have one glass an hour.”

“But Jack, I need more than that, I need to be numb!” I sob and collapse on the floor at his feet.

“I know Jackie, but this is how it’s gotta be for a while, I’m sure Elena and your family don’t want to lose you and I’m positive that Adrian would hate to see you like this baby, come on, up to the table,” Jack helps me sit at the table and sets a plate of scrambled eggs down in front of me. He gets me a glass of juice and when I reach to take if off of him my sleeve moves and he sees my wrist. Jack sets the glass down on the table and takes my hands in his. He places one in his lap and pushes the sleeve up on the other, replaces it and does the same to the other.

“I’m sorry Jack,” I sigh and he half-smiles at me.

“Don’t worry about it Jackie, we’ll soon have you up and running again, better than ever,” he tells me and begins to feed me little bits of the plate of eggs. I manage to consume the entire plateful as well as the juice.