The Truth

“Do you know how annoying you are right now, Kendall? Can you please stop being so stubborn?” Claudia groaned and shook her head in disbelief as she stared at the blonde guy next to her. Kendall could only smile innocently at his Math tutor and shrug his shoulder. As much as Claudia liked him as more than friend, she hated him for being so stubborn sometimes, “I don’t get how your brain works sometimes.” She muttered and sighed heavily as she tapped her fingers repeatedly on the wooden table.

“Well-“

“No, don’t say anything.” Claudia cut his words and ran her fingers through her brown hair, “Please, just bear with me right now, Kendall. Can you please just pretend to understand, stop messing around, and listen to me? I’m so tired and in such a bad mood and you act like this doesn’t help anything.” She said as she stood up and paced back and forth, trying to clear her head. She was really tired and in a very bad mood. Her cover story deadline for school’s magazine was tomorrow and she hadn’t written anything, making her to feel frustrated more than ever.

“Calm down, Claud. Take a deep breath, sit here, and teach me one more time. I promise I’ll behave and maybe I will get what you’re teaching to me.” Kendall said calmly with an innocent smile as he watched Claudia pacing back and forth in his dining room.

“Fine,” She huffed and sat on the chair next to Kendall. She started tutoring Kendall from the start again and tried to be more patient this time. She accepted Mr. Moore’s offer to tutor Kendall because she wanted to. It’s not like Mr. Moore pushed her to do it. She just wanted it because she could see something from Kendall and other than that, she’s liked Kendall since the freshman year. No one knew about her feelings towards Kendall except her big brother and Olivia, her best friend since she was only 6.

“Do you get it now?” Claudia asked as she closed the book and leaned on the back of the chair. She looked at Kendall in the eyes, wondering if he would tell her the truth or lie.

“Yes. You’re such a great tutor, you know that. I’m glad I have you to teach me here.” Kendall said calmly with a proud smile on his face and turned to look Claudia. Their eyes locked and the world seemed to stop for Claudia. She started to get lost into those bright green eyes and her heart started to beat faster.

“U-uh,” Claudia looked away and stood up awkwardly, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, “I have to go home.” She said quickly as she walked towards the front door. Kendall trailed behind her, wondering why she wanted to go home early. She used to stay with him for a while and just sing along to some songs with him. Why did she act a bit differently today?

“Why so early? You used to stay here for a while with me,” Kendall said as he opened the front door for her. Claudia turned to look at her and tried to find the best reasons. She bit her lower lip and shrugged her shoulders.

“I have to write for our school’s magazine cover story. I haven’t written anything at all for it.” She said finally and held the urge to smile proudly at herself. Kendall nodded in understand and hugged her before she could walk away. Claudia was surprised because of this. Kendall never hugged her before. This was the first time. She hugged him back and inhaled his scent, making her don’t wanna let go.

“Babe, are you okay?” Claudia blinked her eyes a few times as her boyfriend’s voice dragged her back to the reality. Her eyes glanced all around the room before setting on her boyfriend tall figure, “Are you okay? If you’re not, I can ask someone to drive you back to your home so you could rest.”

“No, don’t. I’m fine, Colton,” Claudia reassured him and gave him a fake smile. Colton looked at her intensely, “I’m okay, Colton. I’m just not gonna head home even if I’m sick. It’s your birthday and I don’t wanna leave you.” She said and shrugged her shoulders. Colton smiled brightly at her and kissed her lips passionately before adding another kiss on her forehead.

“Hey, Colton!” Claudia turned her head to see the guy who just called Colton. Colton smiled brightly again at the tall, lanky guy with blond hair who just called his name. Claudia absolutely knew this guy, but she pretended that she was wrong, hoping that it wasn’t him, “Happy birthday, man. It’s been a while.” The lanky guy said with a lopsided grin on his face. Claudia could just stare blankly at the guy and try to process her mind again.

“Yeah. Thanks for coming, Kendall.” Colton said with a smile after giving the guy a man hug, “Oh, Kendall, this is my girlfriend, Claudia. And Claudia, this is Kendall, my best friend.” Kendall seemed to star struck as he looked at Claudia. He just noticed that Claudia was Colton’s girlfriend. His smile was about to fall at the thought of it but he kept on smiling anyway, being friendly to Claudia.

“Hi, Claudia. It’s pleasure to meet you,” Kendall pushed out and Claudia only could smile nervously and nod at him. She had no idea why she still got nervous around him. She hasn’t met him again for over 4 years, then why did she still get nervous?

“Claud, are you okay? You look really pale.” Colton’s voice dragged her back to the reality. She blinked her eyes a few time, glancing at Kendall who had a knowing look on his face, before turning to see Colton.

She pushed out a small smile and nodded her head slightly, “I’m fine, Colton.” She reassured but Colton didn’t buy it. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his short hair.

“Look, Claudia, I’m gonna find somebody to take you home so you can rest. You’re clearly not okay. You look so pale, Claudia. Please just listen to me, okay? There’s no but.” He said to her and looked her in the eyes. Claudia sighed and gave in, shrugging her shoulders. The truth was, she’s fine. She felt so great to be here with Colton. It’s just Kendall that made her a little bit uncomfortable.

“You need somebody to take her home, right? I can do that if you don’t mind.” Kendall offered, making Claudia to widen her eyes. Colton seemed a little bit unsure but accepted it anyway.

“Really? Thanks, man. I owe you a lot.” Colton said with a smile to Kendall, “Now go home and take a rest. I don’t want you to get sick.” He said lovingly to Claudia with a smile and tucked a strand of her hair to the back of her ear. She nodded at him and reached up to give him a kiss after glancing at Kendall for a few seconds. Seeing this, Kendall could only feel dying inside. He hated to admit that he’s a little bit jealous of Colton.

“Okay. I’ll call you when I get at home,” Claudia said and smiled at Colton. She really wanted to go away from this place and to her home but not with Kendall. If she could, she would call her best friend to pick her up and take her somewhere, but the fact was Kendall’s the one who’s going to take her home.

“Look, once again, thank you. Thanks a lot, dude. I owe you.” Colton said sincerely to his best friend. Kendall pushed out a small smile, stealing glances at Claudia every now and then.

“It’s okay, man.” Kendall nodded slightly at him and turned to see Claudia who looked still a little bit uncomfortable with the situation between her and Kendall, “Shall we?” he asked and Claudia nodded. She gave Colton a peck before walking away with Kendall. She looked down at her shoes ‘cause she could feel Kendall giving her a look as they walked to the parking lot.

The car ride to Claudia’s house was awkward, really awkward. Both of them were dying to say something but nothing came out from their mouth. Kendall kept his eyes on the road even though sometimes he stole a few glances at Claudia who was looking out at the road they passed by. Some memories of her and Kendall when they’re still in high school crossed her mind. She still could remember how he made her smile every time he cracked a silly joke, how he made her blush every time he teased her about some embarrassment moments, how he made her heart beat a hundred times faster when they danced together, how he made her feel when he’s near her.

“We’re here,” Kendall broke the silence as he killed the engine. Claudia looked up from her hands and looked around. He’s right. Both of them slid out of the car and Kendall followed Claudia walking to the front door. Claudia stopped walking and unlocked the door, letting it opened. She turned around and bravely looked at Kendall’s eyes.

“Thanks for driving me home.” She said with a small smile and Kendall nodded slightly at her. There was an awkward silence again. Kendall stood awkwardly in front of her and glanced at her every now and then. He really wanna say something to her and spilled everything that’s on his mind, but he got tongue-tied, “So, bye, Kendall. Goodnight.” She said quickly and gave him a quick hug before getting into the house. When she tried to close the door, she could feel a hand holding the door from the opposite. She sighed softly and opened the door again, stepping a few steps back, “What do you want, Kendall?” She asked in a small voice, looking at him right in the eyes.

“I need to talk with you,” he spoke up as he walked in to the house and shut the door behind him. Claudia shrugged her shoulders and sighed softly again. Kendall took this as his chance to talk. He took a deep breath before saying, “Look, Claudia, I never thought we would meet again. I never really thought that you would stay in a same city as me. Hell, I never thought that you would leave our hometown because I know you love it so much and all your family stay there. But then I got the chance to meet you again. I still can’t believe that you’re standing here right in front of me. It’s been forever since the last time I saw you waving at me in the airport.” He stopped for a while to take a breath.

“Well, yeah, I never thought we would meet again.” Claudia said shortly in a small voice. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out what Kendall would say to her because she knew that he had a lot of things to say.

“All I really wanna say is,” He stopped for a while and shut his eyes, gaining the courage, “I love you, Claudia. I love you since the first time I laid my eyes on you. I know I’m such a coward for not having the courage to say it to you earlier or trying to reach out to you, but that’s just the old me. I really didn’t know what to do because it hurt me when I knew that you were chosen for that student exchange stuff to Germany for a year and I had to graduate without you that time. I had planned a lot of things we should do together on our graduation day, but actually you’re not there.

“I moved out to LA and started a new life. I thought I would forget about you and could move on and stuff. Well, I dated a few girls back then but it’s different. I had no feelings for them! And tonight, I had to see you again after a long time and watch you kissing Colton, my own best friend. I thought my feelings for you have gone away, but it’s not. I hate to admit that I still love you and it hurt me a lot to watch you with him. I wish I were him! It hurt me that I can’t touch you, kiss you, and everything. It’s just… I never thought all of these would happen to me. I’m hurting by the fact that I can’t have you.” Tears started to run down on Claudia’s cheeks. She looked Kendall in the eyes and shook her head in disbelief.

“Why are you saying these things to me right now, Kendall? Why you didn’t tell me that you love me when I was about to leave for Germany? Why, Kendall?” She asked him in disbelief. Her heart ached by only hearing his words, “If you come to me 5 years ago, maybe the things wouldn’t be different like now, maybe I wouldn’t be with Colton.” She added and ran her hands through her hair desperately.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through all this time. I spent my day and night thinking and hoping I would meet you again even if it’s just for a few seconds. Well, uh, look at us now,” she laughed bitterly, “But it’s different. I’m not the same girl you knew back then, Kendall. I’m with Colton right now. As much as I hope that it would be perfect if you’re in Colton’s position right now, it’s just… I hope you’re the one who’s here with me all this time. But the reality is you’re not. It’s Colton who’s always here with me,” She continued and another tear rolled down to her cheek.

“The situation is different right now. Yeah, I know. I wish I came to you 5 years ago,” Kendall spoke, sadness written all over his face. He regretted that he didn’t come sooner to Claudia. He regretted that he didn’t spill it in the airport when Claudia was about to leave for Germany 5 years ago, “You know, Claudia. I will always love you with all my heart no matter what happens.” He added with a sad smile on his face and stepped closer to Claudia. He brought up his thumb to wipe Claudia’s tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

As Kendall did this, Claudia shut her eyes. Her heart was unbelievably beating so fast. She never felt like this before. It’s like her old feelings for Kendall that she buried all this time just came back again. As Kendall started to take a few steps back, she tugged at his arm and pulled him into a hug. She cried on his chest and hugged him tightly, “I love you, Kendall.” She blurted out in a small voice but Kendall could hear it clearly. He was intense for a split second but relaxed again.

Kendall pulled back from the hug and lifted Claudia’s chin so he could look at her right in the eyes. Claudia blinked her tears away and looked at Kendall’s bright green eyes, “I know. I love you too, Claudia. I always will.” He said and suddenly kissed her. Claudia was caught off guard but slowly kissed him back. Butterflies started to fill Claudia’s stomach and her knees started to go weak.

Kendall pulled back from the kiss and once again, stared at Claudia’s blue eyes that looked like the ocean. He added a kiss on her forehead and Claudia couldn’t help but hug him again, inhaling his scent to make her calm but actually it only made her more sad, “Goodbye, Kendall.” She said in a small voice after pulling back from the hug and kissing Kendall’s cheek.

“Bye, Claudia.” He said and spun his heels, opening the front door and walking out from Claudia’s house. Claudia watched him as he walked slowly to his car, slid in, and turned on the engine. Kendall gave her one last look before finally driving away. Claudia shut her eyes as she watched Kendall going away. She absolutely knew the condition she’s in at the moment. If she wasn’t with Colton or Kendall came to her before Colton, maybe she didn’t have to watch him walk away from her life once again.