Foster's School for the Socially Awkward and Normality Challenged

“You’ve reached David and Ceecee’s Outcast Inn, we’re here to help you unleash your inner oddness, how may I help you today?” I said into the headset, happily typing away at a new attendance list.  Sure, I’d been put on desk duty, but it was only until lunch, and I was getting paid to do it. Nearly everyone who’d escaped Foster that was old enough to work came here and got a job from David. They rotated pretty often so no one got bored enough to quit. At this point, all the help we could get was needed. We were expecting more kids than ever this year.

“Yes, we have room for your son, what was his name? Mmhmm, Eddy- Eddy what did you say? That’s F-O-S-T-E-R?” It wasn’t Mrs. Foster speaking, so it would have to be Mr. Foster, if there was one.

“Please hold for just a second, I need to check something over with my manager…” I apologized hastily before pulling off the headset and running to Ceecee, who was duct taping someone’s ankles together.

“Can you pick up on my line, please? There’s a person who I’m not exactly sure what to say to.”

“Sure, kid. Go find Alexia too, would you? We just got her stuff from her parents this morning, and I think she has a surprise for you.” Shrugging, I lugged along to poorly taped up box, down the hall and into the last room on the left.  She wasn’t alone.

“Could you stop the boy friend girlfriend stuff when I come in, please?” I asked, shielding my eyes. I thought Dante liked guys. And hated people touching him.

“Sorry, Evan. What’s up?”

“Your stuff came in this morning from your parents.” I said, kicking the box over to her.

“Sweet… Hey! They remembered my Franken-bear! That reminds me, I got something for you too, Evan. Dun data da!” She said with a flourish, pulling out my iPod.

“My baby! Where did you find him? I was positive Foster threw him out, and he doesn’t smell garbage-y”

“She kept all her confiscated stuff in this huge box under her desk. I got back everyone else’s, too.”

“Alexia, you’re officially amazing.”

“What about me? I’m the one who carried the box for her….” Dante added.

“Don’t worry, Dante, you’re special too.”

“That’s kind of why we’re here.”

“Oh, crap, that brings me back to why Ceecee told me to bring this to you in the first place, some guy is signing up Eddy. Eddy freakin Foster.”

“That boy is going to pay for ripping out my earring… I paid good money for that thing, and then whoosh! It’s gone, and my head’s bleeding all over. Not to mention the concussion.”

“And the creepy massage I was forced to give him thanks to you telling him I don’t bite.”

“You seriously don’t bite anyone with those teeth? They’re like little fangs of death and agony…”

“Well, I’ve started, I guess, but at that point I was just trying to live through it, remember?”

“Wasn’t that like, a month ago?”

“Alright, who left their sock in my toilet?” Greg demanded, holding up a dripping red sock.  Dante pointed to me, who pointed to Alexia, who pointed to Dante.

“She/He did it!”

Some things just never change, I guess.