Status: 50,239 words || Completed.
Pretty, Ugly Girl
Journal Entry
It doesn't get easier nor does it feel any less painful as time goes on. It hurts a lot that they both just left t practically the same time. I know that saying that they both 'left' isn't really the most appropriate thing for me to write but I don't know how else I can say it because that is what it feels like. That they both left and aren't ever coming back.
Sometimes I can't help but try to convince myself that it's for the best. Only because then it doesn't hurt as much. But then sometimes I wonder just why it hurts me. It shouldn't hurt because it wasn't like anyone cared. We just cared for ourselves all the time.
Mel was right about that. Sometimes I wonder just how she knew all about it but then I stop to think that maybe she knew about it because she actually paid attention to us more than she did herself. And when I say that she knew everything about it, I'm lying. I mean that she knew that something was going to happen.
Like she had a bad feeling or something.
I don't really get feelings like that over anything so it makes me wonder how she could. But then... I guess we're all different. At least, that is what everyone says. Sometimes I doubt that because there are so many people who I just think are the same because they act like it.
Mel offered to get a tutor for me so that I don't have to go back to school. She said something about the rumours that would be constantly going around and the fact that people would continuously talk about it. I turned her down because I know it won't be like that. Well at least I'm pretty certain they won't be like that.
What if they are? How bad would the rumours be anyway? I've never had a rumour spread about me before but then again, I have only just been at high school for one year.
I'm worried now. I think maybe I should have taken up the offer for the tutor. Maybe she'll let me get one now that I've thought about it. Because I really don't want to experience being around when a rumour is spread about me or my family.
Well... I assume something would spread about me. I know something would be spread about my family because that's something that's been in the papers. Anyone with a little bit of common sense in them knew that what happened would have shown up in the paper. It's only in the local paper as of now but Mel was on about how there might be an article for it in one of the country newspapers.
I don't get why they just don't leave her. I did suggest it to them but they didn't listen to me. All I know is they're looking for a lost cause. But of course, no one listens to the twelve year old. She knows nothing.
I wish they could see that I'm not as stupid at they think I am.
Sometimes I can't help but try to convince myself that it's for the best. Only because then it doesn't hurt as much. But then sometimes I wonder just why it hurts me. It shouldn't hurt because it wasn't like anyone cared. We just cared for ourselves all the time.
Mel was right about that. Sometimes I wonder just how she knew all about it but then I stop to think that maybe she knew about it because she actually paid attention to us more than she did herself. And when I say that she knew everything about it, I'm lying. I mean that she knew that something was going to happen.
Like she had a bad feeling or something.
I don't really get feelings like that over anything so it makes me wonder how she could. But then... I guess we're all different. At least, that is what everyone says. Sometimes I doubt that because there are so many people who I just think are the same because they act like it.
Mel offered to get a tutor for me so that I don't have to go back to school. She said something about the rumours that would be constantly going around and the fact that people would continuously talk about it. I turned her down because I know it won't be like that. Well at least I'm pretty certain they won't be like that.
What if they are? How bad would the rumours be anyway? I've never had a rumour spread about me before but then again, I have only just been at high school for one year.
I'm worried now. I think maybe I should have taken up the offer for the tutor. Maybe she'll let me get one now that I've thought about it. Because I really don't want to experience being around when a rumour is spread about me or my family.
Well... I assume something would spread about me. I know something would be spread about my family because that's something that's been in the papers. Anyone with a little bit of common sense in them knew that what happened would have shown up in the paper. It's only in the local paper as of now but Mel was on about how there might be an article for it in one of the country newspapers.
I don't get why they just don't leave her. I did suggest it to them but they didn't listen to me. All I know is they're looking for a lost cause. But of course, no one listens to the twelve year old. She knows nothing.
I wish they could see that I'm not as stupid at they think I am.
♠ ♠ ♠
Oh Hannah. :/