Status: 50,239 words || Completed.

Pretty, Ugly Girl

Take Twenty

“They had the kid.”

“Really? What's its name?”

“Gordon.”

“What a fucking stupid name.”

“Tell me about it,” Abi rolled her eyes and passed the roll up in her hand back to Tommy. He took it from her hand, looked it over once before putting it in his mouth and inhaling. “You smoke like a fucking girl, you know.”

Tommy just snorted, “You can't talk.”

“I am a girl, I'm meant to smoke like one.”

“Sometimes I wonder whether that's true.”

Abi nudged him in the side, “Oi!” All he did was just laugh at her. It wasn't the first time they had shared a roll up together nor would it be the last time if they had any say in it. They actually enjoyed it and at sometimes it was something that they enjoyed doing with each other. That meant that when they enjoyed it they only enjoyed it because they were with someone else but all the other times they enjoyed it was because they were with one another.

“You know, sometimes you just need to lighten up Abi. Take a step back from your life and just look at it. See that it's going nowhere and then relax. No matter whether you think you'll be going anywhere in life, you won't. Want to know why? Because we all die in the end,” Tommy mumbled, passing the roll up back to Abi.

She rolled it between her fingers for a while, mauling over what he had just said. After a while she spoke again, “Is it better?”

“What?”

“Thinking like that. Is it better then how I think?”

Tommy sat up when she said that. He looked at her with a peculiar expression on his face as he just studied her. Normally she would ask him what his problem was or why was he staring at her but this time she didn't. She knew why she didn't but at the same time she didn't know.

“Is it?” she asked again, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“You really want to know how I think?” he questioned, eyebrow raised and a serious tone in his voice. She nodded.

He seemed to think for a moment before he faced her again. “I just kinda... well live fast. It's like I know I won't amount to anything that will want me to live longer and face everything the world will push on top of me and I've accepted that. It's helped me shape my motto – my basic guidance of life. Live fast, die young and leave a beautiful corpse.”

“How do you know it'll be beautiful?”

Tommy smiled slightly, “Because I'll know that it's beautiful, not because anyone else will.”

That sentence made Abi stop and think. Because he knew it would be beautiful... how would that work? She tried thinking about it and how it would work but she just couldn't. Did it mean that everything he said to her before was a lie or was she just hearing it all wrong? She couldn't be too sure because she didn't understand it. Not really anyway.

“Does that mean--” she stopped what she was saying, unsure of how to word what she wanted to say. Really, how could you word the question she was going to say? You couldn't.

He understood what she meant though. “I was waiting for you to figure it out. You're a smart girl Abi but you can be dumb at times.”

This shocked Abi, really it did, but at the same time it didn't because it was like she was expecting it. She knew there had to be something else about this all, about everything that he had been saying to her, but she just didn't know. Until now, that is. But instead of being upset or angry she just laughed.

“Sometimes I wonder just how you exist Tommy and then I realise you don't exist, you live.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Last one before bed. It's not even over 1000 words.