Pretty, Ugly Girl

Casey was stressed out like hell because Gordon just wasn't doing a single thing she was shouting at him to do. It wasn't surprising considering he was only three weeks old but she didn't care about that bit, she just wanted him to shut the fuck up for five minutes at least. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” she screamed at the screaming baby who was laying on her and James' bed, eyes closed and face red from screaming for a long period of time.

She couldn't do this, absolutely not. There was no way she'd be able to put up with a screaming baby for much longer today, let alone for the next few years. She cursed herself for ever thinking that having the kid would keep James with her. He wanted a paternity test and she didn't want to grant him one but seeing as he was the father on the birth certificate, he was allowed. Casey had already told him that it would be a waste of time seeing as Gordon is his and that he'd be fucking stupid to think otherwise because did he really think she'd lie to him over something that big?

The fact that James answered yes to that worried Casey extremely.

“For fucks sake Casey!” James yelled, coming into the room. She heard him before she saw him. “Why is he still crying? You're meant to be trying to get him to stop not letting him keep on crying!”

“I tried, fucking hell James. I tried!”

“Well obviously not hard enough!” he snapped before going over to the bed and picking the baby up. He could tell he was tired just from looking at him. “He's fucking tired you arsehole, why didn't you try and get him to sleep?”

That done it for Casey. She needed some air to clear her head and to get away from the kid before she fucking murdered him. She was fairly certain she would be able to kill him without a care. Pushing past James, she began to walk down the hallway. However James wasn't having that. He followed after her, the child still screaming in his arms.

“Where are you going Casey?”

She spun round, glaring at the child in disgust. “I need some air. He's been screaming in my ear for the past half hour. And I swear if I have to be in the same room as he is for the next twenty minutes of him screaming, I will lose it so badly.”

James just rolled his eyes at her words. “He needs to be fed you idiot.”

“So feed him then!”

“I can't because in case you don't notice, I don't have fucking breasts that contain milk!”

Why, Casey thought, did she ever think to have a child? And of all people to raise it with, why did she have to choose James? He was just full of shit in her opinion and never let her do anything she liked because apparently he cared for the child so he didn't want her to fuck him up before birth. But now that he was born it seemed like he wanted her to be around the baby all the fucking time!

Her mother always told her that having a child is one thing that you don't regret because past all the screaming and the crying and the dirty nappies was the love you had for the child which went beyond whatever mess it could make or the noise it emits. And honestly, Casey had tried to find that within her – tried so fucking much every single day – but really, she couldn't find that within her. Everything about Gordon irritated her and nothing about him made her swell in pride over the fact that it was her son.

She almost felt jealous of the fact that Jade miscarried her child.

“You're so full of shit James! Why the fuck do I have to be around him all the time? I don't. I deserve some time to myself, I deserve not to constantly have a fucking headache!” she yelled, trying to compete with the sound of Gordon screaming. “And for fucks sake can't you shut him up! Do something – give him a dummy, give him a fucking bottle of milk even, just shut him up!”

James couldn't believe just how selfish she was being. Sure, he knew she was pretty selfish at times because he was selfish too as were many others, but he didn't realise that she was this selfish. Hell, he didn't like the kid screaming nor did he like the fact that he had to give up some of his work time to tend to him because Casey was too tired, but he was trying. And he didn't even know whether the child was even his or not so in a way, he was doing something that a lot of guys wouldn't do. It could – and most probably would – turn out to not be his son.

“Just fucking feed him Casey and stop being so selfish!” When James said that she just shook her head before turning on her heel and storming down the stairs and out the house. It felt like the floor shook as she slammed the door shut. Gordon began crying even harder than before.

“James? Is everything alright?” Mel called up, slightly worried about the fact that Gordon was still crying and the screaming match that he James and Casey had just had.

Storming down the stairs, he thrust Gordon into Mel's arms before storming back upstairs and slamming his bedroom door shut. No explanation as to why or anything like that.

With a sigh Mel walked back into the sitting room, trying to quieten Gordon down.