Pretty, Ugly Girl

“Where the fuck is she?!” James stressed, pacing backwards and forwards in the sitting room. Casey wasn't back from getting air like she said she was doing and Gordon really needed to be fed and they didn't have any formula milk in the house. Why would they need it when he was being fed by Casey?

“Maybe she just needs more air?” Mel suggested, keeping her arms moving in a slow rocking motion so that the baby didn't wake up.

“She's been gone for a whole fucking day Mel! She does not need more air.” It had been hard for them to keep Gordon happy and fed during that one day without Casey there. They had to borrow some formula milk from down the street. There was a girl on the street that had twin boys who were just coming up to three months old. James wasn't too sure whether he could have that milk but the girl assured him that it would be fine to give him that just for now. He was going to go skits at Casey when she came back.

Abi walked into the sitting room and looked at James and Mel. “Who died?” she asked, going over to the table and picking up an apple. She looked at it and debated about whether or not she should eat it.

“No one died Abi, Casey just isn't back yet,” Mel told her, getting a bit fed up with the girl they were talking about. Yes, she knew just how hard a newborn baby was – everyone else in the house probably did as well considering the amount of times they had been woken up by him – but that didn't give her the excuse to go off like she did and not come back for a whole day.

Whether she liked it or not the child needed her and because she gave birth to him, it was her responsibility to take care of him.

Abi snorted in amusement. “Haven't you been on Facebook today?” This gained both Mel and James' attention.

“Why, what's on it?”

“She's done a runner. There's a slagging match going on about her. I gotta say its hellva funny stuff,” Abi told them before putting the apple down and walking out the room. The apple just wasn't worth it to her; they weren't even that nice.

James froze where he was for a moment or two, processing what Abi just said. Casey's done a runner whilst he's stuck with her child? He snapped out of his thoughts and rushed over to the computer in the corner of the room. It was meant to be the family computer but they weren't really that much of a family so the name didn't really count for them.

“What are you doing James?” Mel asked as he turned the screen on and wiggled the mouse. One good thing about the computer was the fact that it was hardly ever turned off. Yes, that could cause problems with how it worked and everything in the future but for now it was good enough for them.

“I have to see for myself,” was all he said to her. The screen finally loaded up so he could open up the internet browser and type in Facebook in the search bar. He had small hope that this was a fucking joke but with the way Casey was, he wouldn't put it past her to do such a thing.

When he logged into his account the first thing he noticed was the fact he had around twenty notifications. He rarely went on the site so he didn't get that many notifications because people knew that so for people to suddenly be posting on his wall or profile was something that made what Abi said be more believable.

He only managed to look through the first seven before he got bored of reading the same thing over and over again: Casey's a cheating whore. She's run off with her other boyfriend.

James felt like he could really murder her at this moment in time. Not only had she been cheating on him the whole time (he figured) but she had also left him with a kid that most probably was not his. Oh yes, he wouldn't mind in severely hurting her right now.

“That fucking bitch!” he spat out through clenched teeth. He felt like a complete and utter mug.

“She's not coming back, is she?” Mel asked, already knowing the answer.

“No.”

“What are you going to do then?” There was silence for a little while, neither of the two speaking most because Mel was waiting for an answer and James didn't know what he could answer.

To tell the truth James didn't know what he could do. He knew he and Casey weren't the best parents around but they weren't the total worse and with her by his side (even though she hardly did anything) it wasn't that bad to look after Gordon but now that she wasn't there... James couldn't even work out whether he should still keep the child or not. After all it's not like he knows whether or not the kid is actually his. He could do the paternity test now but James didn't have it in him to do it and if Gordon turned out not to be his, give him away. Three weeks can bring a guy close to a child to have a little bond with it.

“I-I don't know Mel, I really don't,” he confessed, resting his elbows on the desk before hanging his head in his palms. For the first time in his life – that he could remember, that is – James felt completely hopeless as to what he could do. “I don't know what to do without Casey around. If I fucked up she fucked up too and now she's not here... I can't fuck up by myself!”

Mel didn't quite get what James was on about, then again she rarely got what any of them were on about, but for his sake she pretended that she did, like she always does. “Don't worry James; I'll be here to help you. I know that I might not be the best person you want helping you but I'm here and I'm willing to help you. I know you work James and I know that if you took responsibility of Gordon all the time then you wouldn't get a single piece of work done,” she comforted, hopeful that he would take her help without her having to argue with him.

James didn't want to take her help because he's not one to really want to take help from people, much less Mel, but he knew that she was right and he needed to do the best thing for Gordon and not for himself. And the best thing for the child – that he knew of – was to have Mel look after him mostly whilst James worked and looked after him at times.

“Yeah, I suppose that's the best thing for me to do. Just... it's going to be so fucking hard and I just don't know whether it's right to keep him dumped on you. It's not fair to you Mel,” he mumbled.

James wasn't used to thinking about someone else before himself, to be fair, so the fact that he could so willingly and easily put Gordon before what he wanted to do surprised Mel a lot. Also the fact that he realised that it wouldn't be fair on Mel and that he was actually thinking of her too surprised her as well.

“It's okay though James, I'm okay with looking after him. If not just for you, then for him. He didn't ask to be born, I know that much, but he shouldn't be punished for how his mother is. It wouldn't be fair on him and you know that James,” her voice was soft but firm. James hated listening to her – all the years that he didn't listen to her made him not like it – but he didn't really bother about his dislike because it wasn't about him.

“Thank you Mel, really. I know you don't have to do this but you are and I know that without you helping me I wouldn't be able to last with him, so thank you, really,” James told her and he actually meant it.

Mel felt the overwhelming urge to hug James tightly but she knew that he wouldn't appreciate that so she just settled for smiling and keeping her extreme happiness to herself.