Broken Bones and Shattered Hearts

Chapter Fifteen.

Tom was back from working away and it was a relief to have company in the house. Lexi had told him about everything that had happened with Bam over the past week. Everything that is, apart from the two nights he had stopped over. She was not sure why she had failed to mention this to him. He seemed happy that Bam finally knew the truth and Lexi thought it was best to leave it at that.

After picking Caleb up from nursery, Lexi realised she had a text on her phone.

Would Caleb and mom like to go to the park? Love B x

Lexi smiled. She had so much housework to do, but it was a nice sunny day despite the wind, and Lexi felt in need of some fresh air after a full day on the hot, stuffy classroom. She had considered taking a walk with Caleb anyway.

We’ll see you there. x

Lexi could not see what harm it would do in spending time with Bam at the park. Tom wouldn’t be home until late and he had said that it was good that Bam was spending plenty of time with Caleb. The park wasn’t far away so she and Caleb walked there. Bam was waiting for them. Caleb ran excitedly over to greet Bam, before getting him to push him on the swings.

As Caleb played, Lexi and Bam talked. She felt relaxed as they watched their son having fun. Bam seemed to have matured over the past few weeks, she felt as if they could have a proper conversation without winding up back in the past.

Bam spoke briefly about Jenn. Lexi discovered they had been officially dating for the past three years and tried not to let it bother her. Bam seemed to have done a good job of keeping Jenn and Lexi away from one another recently.

“So how does Jenn feel about you having a son?” Lexi asked out of curiosity. She wasn’t trying to stir anything.

Bam shrugged. “She’ll get used to it.”

Lexi left it at that. From his tone she assumed that Jenn was not best pleased about the revelation, but it did not bother her, in fact she found it quite funny. That was for Bam to deal with.

Lexi and Bam sat on a bench as they watched Caleb play in the sand pit. Bam asked when he could next see Caleb. It was only Tuesday, and Caleb was staying for the night at April and Phil’s on Thursday while Lexi went out with her old friends. She wondered if Bam would be joining them, but did not say anything.

“I’m working on Thursday but you could have him for the day as he’s staying over at yours that night anyway.” She thought, trying to work out her busy schedule.

Bam agreed. Lexi had learnt that he was still skateboarding and had started to make skate videos, so his work was pretty flexible which made it easier for him to see Caleb. She wasn’t really sure where they were supposed to go from this point. Bam had definitely proven himself and had spent a great amount of time with Caleb. However, Lexi was determined not to rush into anything. If Bam was going to be a permanent part of Caleb’s life she needed to be positive he would not mess things up.

“We should get going before it gets dark.” Lexi told Bam, calling her son back from the sand pit.

“I’ll give you a lift, it’s getting cold.”Bam said, sweeping up Caleb and putting him on his shoulders.

“Thank you.” She smiled, watching her son’s happy little face as his father carried him to the car.

As Bam drove, he and Lexi listened to Caleb chatter away about how much he loved the park. Occasionally they would exchange amused glances when he said something really funny.

“I’ve got three tickets for the zoo.” Bam whispered and grinned after pulling up outside the house. “I thought we could go for the day out next Saturday?”

Lexi couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she unfastened her seat belt. “That would be lovely Bam. Caleb’s never been to the zoo before!” Once again she lost control of her actions as she reached over to hug him.

Bam returned the hug surprisingly tightly and for a few seconds their bodies were closer than they had been for four years. As she came back to her senses, Lexi pulled away and picked up her handbag.

“Thank you for the lift Bam.”

“No problem, I’ll pick him up before you go to work on Thursday.”

Lexi took Caleb out of the car and let Bam kiss him goodbye before they headed into the house. They waved from the doorstep as Bam pulled away. Lexi could help thinking how nice the hug had been.

***

She decided to wear a black dress on Thursday night. They were only going to the local bar but she felt like making a bit of an effort. She let her hair down and curled it and even wore heels. Tom had been invited but he had lots of paperwork to catch up on so he stayed at home instead.

Caleb was already at April and Phil’s as Bam had been looking after him for the day, so Ryan picked her up at eight and they headed into town.

“Who’ll be there tonight?” she asked him from the passenger seat.

“Just the usual I suspect. Dico, Novak etc.” He replied, nodding his head to the music that was blaring from his stereo.

Sure enough when they arrived in the bar, Dico, Novak, Raab and Rake were already sitting at the bar. Ryan bought Lexi a drink and they found a table that was big enough to accommodate their group. It was the same bar that Lexi had first run into Bam in on the night of her birthday.

After nearly an hour of drinking and catching up, Lexi started to wonder if Bam would show up. She wasn’t sure why she was so bothered, it just seemed a little weird not having him around with the others.

Just as these thoughts crossed her mind, she heard the door swing open and everyone turned around to see Bam making his way over.

“Sorry I’m late guys.” He smiled, without making any excuses.

“You look tired dude.” Raab commented. There were black rings under his eyes.

“Busy day.” Bam grinned, taking a seat in between Lexi and Ryan.

After the waiter had taken his order of drinks, Bam turned to Lexi and told her what he and Caleb had gotten up to. Apparently they had been into town for ice cream and then to the lake to feed the ducks, followed by a quick stop at the park and then lunch at McDonalds.

“No wonder you’re tired.” She exclaimed, amazed at his energy.

Bam laughed.

“I still can’t get over the fact that you two have got a kid.” Rake shook his head. “I remember back in the day you were the worst out of all of us. Talk about bad influences!”

Lexi couldn’t help but laugh at Rake’s comment and Bam chuckled to himself.

“I know, right!” agreed Raab. “It’s insane!”

No one had commented on the fact that Lexi had kept her son’s existence a secret for three years and she was extremely grateful for this. The guys had welcomed her back with open arms and in some ways it felt as if she had never left.

By the end of the night Lexi was considerably drunk and Bam and Ryan took her home in a taxi. Ryan waited in the cab whilst Bam walked her to the door and made sure she got in safely.

“Night Bam.” She told him, kissing him briefly on the cheek again.

“Night Alex.” He replied, before she closed the door.

Bam waited at the door for a few seconds after Alex had closed it. Once again he brought his hand to the spot where she had kissed him. He couldn’t quite believe the way things had turned out. He had never for a second imagined that they would ever be able to be civil to one another again but now it was almost as if they were friends.

He knew he should be angry with Alex for not telling him about his son, but somehow he could not quite work up that emotion. Spending time with her had brought all the memories flooding back, but he tried not to dwell on them, reminding himself that the past was the past. The only thing they had in common was their son, and they had to get on for his sake.
If he was honest, deep down he still had feelings for her; feelings that would never go away, no matter what happened between the two of them. He would have liked to think that she too still had feelings for him but it was highly unlikely after the way he had fucked her over in the past. She had well and truly moved on with her life.

Unable to take his mind off Alex, he got back into the taxi and poured his heart out to his best friend.

***

Lexi and Ryan sat in Vivian’s living room on the Friday evening. Tom had had to leave for work all of a sudden that morning and wouldn’t be back until at least Monday night. This time Lexi wasn’t lying when she told him she would be fine. She had plenty of support around her now.

“So, Bam and Caleb seem to be getting on well.” Ryan grinned while flicking through the TV channels.

“Yeah I guess.” Lexi replied, sipping her coffee.

“And what about you and Bam?” he continued, raising an eyebrow.

“What about us?” Lexi asked, wondering where this was going.

“You’ve been getting on well too haven’t you?” Ryan was grinning even more now.

“I guess.” Lexi admitted. “It’s weird, like we’ve forgotten all the shit in the past and we’re just dealing with the present.”

Ryan nodded. “And are you looking forward to your big day out tomorrow?”

“Oh, yes.” Lexi replied, wishing Ryan would stop with the twenty questions.

“Come on Alex, spit it out. Tell me what you’re really thinking.” Ryan pressed her, knowing that eventually she would crack. She had always confided in Ryan since they were kids, and he was the first person she told when she found out she was pregnant.

Lexi sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to hide anything from Ryan, he knew her far too well. She had not even admitted these feelings to herself.

“I don’t get angry when I look at him anymore. I feel weird, like I did when we were teenagers. I get goose bumps if we touch and I can’t look him in the eye for fear that I’m gonna melt. I’ve dreamt about him every night for the past month, and I can’t even admit this to myself cos I’m so scared that I’ll fall for him again.”

“Sounds like you already have.”

Lexi shook her head.

“I saw the way you two were looking at each other last night.” Ryan explained.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about him, it doesn’t change a thing.” Lexi told her cousin firmly.

“That’s what you think.” Ryan shook his head. “Just you wait and see.”