It Should've Been Me Instead Of Him

Julie.

While John told about his old memories with Becky in this place years ago, I rested my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my shoulders tightly. I didn't know why but I really loved this position. I felt safe with his arm around me. For awhile I felt like we were dating.

As he started telling about his last met with Becky in this place, I heard his voice became hoarse and I felt water drops shed onto my forehead. I lifted my head up from his chest and turned to face him. There I saw tears streamed down his face. I knew and I could feel how sad he was and how much he missed Becky. If I could, I really wanted to hug and calm him down.

Once he realized that I noticed him, he looked down at me. "Are you okay, Jul?"

I shook my head and immediately hug him, making him surprised. "I'm not okay if I see you crying."

He pulled away and cupped my face with his hands, making my eyes met his. "You're crying." He said quietly as his thumbs rubbed my cheeks gently, wiping tears away from my face. There I just realized if I was crying, like he was.

"You know what? I think Becky must be sad if she knows you're crying here just because you miss her. You know there are many girls you can date with. There are many girls adore you. There are many-"

I felt his lips pressing gently on mine before I could even finish my words. My eyes remained open and tears kept streaming down my face as I saw him kissing me with closed eyes. I couldn't help but all I knew, I kissed him back.

I surprised when something buzzed through my shorts and reluctantly broke our kisses. John looked surprised when I broke our kisses but then he turned away, avoiding his eyes from mine. I didn't stay long to look at him but checked my phone and found Zack's name on the screen.

"It's Zack." I told John without getting his response but his hand started fiddling with my hand while my other hand picked the phone up. "What's up Zack?"

On the other line, Zack cleared his throat and chuckled. "Just missed you, baby girl. Didn't you miss me too?"

I could hear Zack's voice clearly but I didn't reply him unless I looked at John whom was still fiddling with my hand. He looked so vulnerable with his pale face, making me want to hug him one more time. I thought I was wrong when I asked him to this place.

"Hey babe, what's wrong with you? You're still there, aren't you?"

"Oh yes, I am. Sorry Zack.. Uh, I-I just have a little headache so-" I stuttered in response as John looked up at me and showed an innocent smile on his gorgeous face, making my heart relieved a little bit and I smiled back at him.

"Oh right, then just get changed. I'm gonna take you out for breakfast."

"Sounds great cause I'm starving." I giggled and so did Zack on the other line. "But I'm not home. Can you pick me and John at The Central Park?"

After got a simply 'yes' from Zack, I hung up and turned at John. He raised an eyebrow without saying anything as if he asked why Zack called. "He'll get here in minutes."

I stood up and brushed the dirt off from my ass and stepped away from John but he grabbed my wrist, making me turned at him. He just gave me a warm smile before standing up and whispering onto my ear. "Thanks."

I frowned in confusion, I wouldn't even have thought if he'd thank for kissing me. "For what?"

"Listening to my story." He replied quietly as he started walking toward the gate with my little wrist in his warm-large hand.

Without saying any word, I just smiled at him as I spotted Zack leaning over his car and immediately jogged toward him, giving him a massive hug while John's footsteps just followed behind me.

"Miss you, Zack." I whispered onto his ear before pulling away and glancing over John. He leaned on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes just looked down at the ground without glancing over me or Zack neither.

"I miss you too, honey. So much." Zack replied as he planted a sweet kiss on my cheek and threw his arm around my shoulders before noticing my red-watery eyes. "Did you cry? How's your headache, sweetie?"

I ran my fingers through my dark blonde hair before smiling at him. "I did not, just felt dizzy but it's been better. John took care of me so much."

John rolled his eyes when he heard what I said, then stepped closer. "Not that much."

"Well, thanks dude. It means a lot, you know." Zack patted John's arms and let go of me from his arm before unlocking the car. "Come on! Let's go!"

The moment when we were on the car was the most awkward moment, none of us talked, making the car completely in silence unless the radio turned on. I stared out the window before closing my eyes, I was too tired after jogging this morning. But that wasn't at all, I also thought about how vulnerable John without Becky around. Suddenly Zack's hand squeezed mine gently, making me open my eyes and I turned to face him.

"So what were you guys doing at that park?" Zack started our conversation, a question with a curiosity tone in his voice. He spoke but he kept his eyes on the road so he didn't show a curiosity look that much.

The whole car was completely in silence after that question came out of Zack's mouth, before finally I cleared my throat and replied him. "Well, we just jogged from home and then stopped there for resting to be exact. Uh, you know it's Sunday." I shrugged. "Did we do something wrong?"

"Oh no, honey." He turned to face me and chuckled before snapping out my hair. "I'm just asking, you know. So where are we going now?"

"I have no idea." I answered briefly before turning to face John at the back seat. "Any idea, John?"

John sat upright from his relaxing style as he scratched the back of his neck and then shrugged. "No idea."

"Well then, what if we have our breakfast at my home? There are Halvo and Belle too." Zack suggested.