Dear Diary.

Dear diary, today I feel numb. The tears have stopped long ago, I've cried all of them. But still I think I didn't cry enough, or even weeping world's largest ocean wouldn't be enough. Not for him. It doesn't hurt anymore. I no longer suffer. I've forgotten the meaning of the word 'happiness'. I don't feel anything. Tell me, why should you live if you haven't a reason? Why get up every morning when you know your day will be dark? Why eat and drink, if you know they'll only keep you alive a few more days of this nightmare called life? Why live when you just want to die? I haven't accepted it yet. I have no intention of doing so. They have taken him from me. They have removed him from my arms. They have ripped my heart without mercy. They have taken my happiness, my hope, my strength to keep going, my moon at night, my air for breath, my shooting star that gave me their company during this time, my sunshine after a storm, my four leaf clover, my life, my Frank.
You have no idea what happened, right?.. Let me tell you about it..
Frank and I had just walked into a store, ready to buy everything for our weekend alone, he and I... We were behind a shelf in front of the cashier, when we heard the shop door open, but obviously we didn't look, for what? Surely it would be an old lady. But we were wrong. Bang. He and I locked eyes for a moment. Without doubt, we heard right: a shot. Frank was going to see what happened, but I quickly grabbed his wrist, and asked him not to leave, but.. he ignored me. He assured me nothing would happen, that he was just going out to see what happened, he wouldn't be seen. That was the second time that day that he was wrong. Leaving behind the shelf, 2 seconds of silence passed until I heard a scream. The cashier, I thought. And then I saw and heard it. Two shots. Frank dropped to his knees, his hands on his stomach, while the sound of the door rang again. He had run away. My eyes widened by a second. No. I ran to him side and knelt beside him, holding him in my arms. His hands were full of blood, like his stomach. I began to cry, begging and begging him to not leave me, as I put pressure on his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding. It was useless. The tears didn't stop falling from my eyes while I was asking him to not leave me, to say with me. Frank was dying every second that passed. Then I heard his voice, fragile and soft, while his bloody hand approached my cheek and caressed it. "I love you Gerard, I always have and I always will" He said, trying to comfort me in his last moments. I shook my head again and again. No. This couldn't be happening, Frank couldn't die. I pleaded him a thousand times more to stay with me, not to leave me. He couldn't leave, not yet. Frank couldn't leave me. He smiled a weak smile, but sincere. He knew the truth, I did too. He accepted it, I didn't. The people around us were screaming and crying, but nobody did anything. Anger because of all them stood there without doing anything ran through my veins, and I yelled them that they had to do something. Some reacted by quickly, taking their phones and calling an ambulance, but Frank made me look at him, and he said he didn't need it.. An ambulance was useless and couldn't do anything for him. I shook my head again and again, as I watched as the most important person in my life was dying in my arms. He started to close his eyes.. I was going to lost him forever. He blinked a few times, and he gave me his last smile, and finally closed his hazel eyes for ever, falling into an eternal sleep. Frank was gone. My cries increased, now more than ever. He looked so peaceful.. so quiet, so dead..
Never again. I'll never be able to hear his laugh, to see him smile, to make him angry, to hug him, to kiss him, to cuddle with him, to tell how much I love him and see that sparkle in his eyes to hear my words, to feel his warm body, to make love to him, to see his beautiful face, to feel like the luckiest man in the world to have him in my arms.
You know.. Once I made him a promise.. "If you leave, I'm leaving with you", and I would never break a promise to Frank.

Dear diary, today I will not say "See you tomorrow".