Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

I facetimed with Tia today, and we were talking about how senior year at my old school/her current school would be interesting. And I got sad.

I got sad because I wouldn't be there experiencing it first hand, but rather getting a second hand account from Tia.

I got sad because I wouldn't be there making memories with her and everyone else.

I always feel awkward visiting, because it's like I don't belong there.

I always felt like I didn't belong there, and after I left the school, the feeling increased.

And I mean, the one excuse I had for visiting would be to watching the basketball games...but me and J haven't talked in a couple weeks which is unusual, and to be honest, I don't see us talking again for the rest of the summer.

His job started and everything so he doesn't have time. And plus there are other girls there to talk to. And let's be honest here, there's really no reason to talk to me. I'm not even that interesting.

I'm used to it, people always get tired of me.

And I'm not saying that in a "let's pity me" kind of way, it's just a matter of fact.

And so now that I don't have the basketball game excuse, I really have no business being at my old school.

Sometimes, I wonder why I feel so awkward, I mean, I'm still friends with the people there.

Sometimes, I just wanna be like "Psh, fuck what everyone thinks, fuck what I think. If I want to visit, I will visit. Case closed."

But then it's like "What if my being here is bothering everyone..."

I don't know anymore. I guess I'll just see when school starts.

I wish I didn't question everything so much.

It makes life hard.