Status: Up and Running
Dear Diary,
October 12, 2011 Wednesday 2:41 pm
Dear Diary,
I feel pathetic right now. You see, I really want to see my friends from my old school, but Tia's not gonna stay and I'd feel stupid if I were to go all the way there and everyone decides to go home early.
And also, I'd feel kinda stupid if they did happen to be hanging out and I was the only junior there.
Well there's Sir, but he doesn't count because he's practically an honorary member of the sophomore class.
I really want to see everyone again, but (and this is going to sound really retarded or something) I feel like no one wants to see me or something. I suppose this is a stupid feeling, but that's how it is, every day.
I miss my old school so much, it's almost unbearable sometimes. I guess that's why I always want to see everyone and visit and stuff.
Today, we took the PSATs and I kept remembering what it was like last year, how during the breaks we ran to the bathroom and immediately started talking about what it was like and sharing and comparing answers and stuff, I was so sad when I remembered that I couldn't do that this year.
Lots of things make me sad now.
Like how I had to put my new school's name instead of my old school's name, and how I took the PSATs in a classroom this year instead of the gym.
Today, I was planning on talking to them and seeing if we had the same test, or something like that. I also really wanted to see Sir. I don't know why, but I just did.
It makes me sad inside that they don't miss me as much as I miss them.
Does it sound bad? To want them to miss me? Does it sound bad that I just want to feel like I matter in this world, that I'm significant...just a little?
I'm sorry then, if it does.
Right now, the way the conversation between me and Tia went, makes me feel like we're growing apart, or she doesn't want to see me as much as I want to see her and everyone else, like I'm just there.
But of course, she's going through some stuff right now too, so I can't blame her if she doesn't want to see me or something.
After all, I'm just not that special.
I feel pathetic right now. You see, I really want to see my friends from my old school, but Tia's not gonna stay and I'd feel stupid if I were to go all the way there and everyone decides to go home early.
And also, I'd feel kinda stupid if they did happen to be hanging out and I was the only junior there.
Well there's Sir, but he doesn't count because he's practically an honorary member of the sophomore class.
I really want to see everyone again, but (and this is going to sound really retarded or something) I feel like no one wants to see me or something. I suppose this is a stupid feeling, but that's how it is, every day.
I miss my old school so much, it's almost unbearable sometimes. I guess that's why I always want to see everyone and visit and stuff.
Today, we took the PSATs and I kept remembering what it was like last year, how during the breaks we ran to the bathroom and immediately started talking about what it was like and sharing and comparing answers and stuff, I was so sad when I remembered that I couldn't do that this year.
Lots of things make me sad now.
Like how I had to put my new school's name instead of my old school's name, and how I took the PSATs in a classroom this year instead of the gym.
Today, I was planning on talking to them and seeing if we had the same test, or something like that. I also really wanted to see Sir. I don't know why, but I just did.
It makes me sad inside that they don't miss me as much as I miss them.
Does it sound bad? To want them to miss me? Does it sound bad that I just want to feel like I matter in this world, that I'm significant...just a little?
I'm sorry then, if it does.
Right now, the way the conversation between me and Tia went, makes me feel like we're growing apart, or she doesn't want to see me as much as I want to see her and everyone else, like I'm just there.
But of course, she's going through some stuff right now too, so I can't blame her if she doesn't want to see me or something.
After all, I'm just not that special.