Status: Complete
The Randomest Collection of Stories about Pretty Much Anything You Can Create a Story About
Chapter YOUR MOM IS A SAUSAGE!
One day, Travis Barker decided it was time to start talking, and making words with his vocal chords, and socializing with people. (Audience: *GASP!* Me: I know, I was shocked too.) So one day he went down to the basement of Summer's house and watched as she and her retard-o brother Bentley were doing random things. Bentley was playing the fcking WORST GAME EVER CREATED EVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND called Wii Game Party 3, and Summer was on Mibba while singing along to New Found Glory, Sum 41, Nevershoutnever, Panic! At The Disco, Paramore, My Chemical Romance, The Offspring, Linkin Park, Escape The Fate, Three Days Grace, Shinedown, Green Day, and the Smashing Pumpkins. (And also NOFX and Blink-182.) I know that was a lot of people, but it was true, because that was who I was singing along two. All forty-six of those artists. (That wasn't 46, but...you know.)
Suddenly, Summer noticed that her headphones were caught in the folding chair. (What....just go with it.) "Darn," she said. "My headphones are caught in the folding chair." (I can just picture you audience pretending I'm saying this in a flat, boring monotone, just like my old LA teacher, Mr. Buxton, did - the one with the creepy mustache).
When Summer stood up to retrieve her headphones, Travis Barker decided to talk. "YOUR MOM GOT STUCK IN A FOLDING CHAIR!!!!!!" he yelled really loud.
Summer and Bentley paused what they were doing and slowly turned toward Travis, who seemed extremely surprised that the insult came out that loud. Finally, Bentley talked, and he said, "...Lil' Wayne? Is that really you?"
Travis Barker shamefully walked back upstairs with his head down. He trudged out the basement door and through the kitchen. Summer and Bentley's father, who was chopping liver, slowly looked up as Travis waved to him. Trav walked into a family room, opened up the window, and climbed out into the backyard. Summer and Bentley's mother was outside, climbing the oak tree, When she saw Travis trudging toward the neighbor's fence, she stopped climbing and slowly turned her head to look at him.
"Hey Mary Lynn, how's it goin'?" asked Travis before jumping the fence, running to Esrom Road and getting hit by an ice cream truck driven by Pitbull at 40 mph. (WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?! YOU MADE TRAVIS GET HIT BY AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DRIVEN BY PITBULL?????? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???) Travis was not phased. In fact, he stood up and continued walking through the traffic, which reminded Summer of Green Day's Walking Contradiction video.
Travis Barker had become immortal, and could get hit by ice cream trucks and not die. Because he's awesome like that.
THE END
Suddenly, Summer noticed that her headphones were caught in the folding chair. (What....just go with it.) "Darn," she said. "My headphones are caught in the folding chair." (I can just picture you audience pretending I'm saying this in a flat, boring monotone, just like my old LA teacher, Mr. Buxton, did - the one with the creepy mustache).
When Summer stood up to retrieve her headphones, Travis Barker decided to talk. "YOUR MOM GOT STUCK IN A FOLDING CHAIR!!!!!!" he yelled really loud.
Summer and Bentley paused what they were doing and slowly turned toward Travis, who seemed extremely surprised that the insult came out that loud. Finally, Bentley talked, and he said, "...Lil' Wayne? Is that really you?"
Travis Barker shamefully walked back upstairs with his head down. He trudged out the basement door and through the kitchen. Summer and Bentley's father, who was chopping liver, slowly looked up as Travis waved to him. Trav walked into a family room, opened up the window, and climbed out into the backyard. Summer and Bentley's mother was outside, climbing the oak tree, When she saw Travis trudging toward the neighbor's fence, she stopped climbing and slowly turned her head to look at him.
"Hey Mary Lynn, how's it goin'?" asked Travis before jumping the fence, running to Esrom Road and getting hit by an ice cream truck driven by Pitbull at 40 mph. (WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?! YOU MADE TRAVIS GET HIT BY AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DRIVEN BY PITBULL?????? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU???) Travis was not phased. In fact, he stood up and continued walking through the traffic, which reminded Summer of Green Day's Walking Contradiction video.
Travis Barker had become immortal, and could get hit by ice cream trucks and not die. Because he's awesome like that.
THE END
♠ ♠ ♠
I think I'm just gonna start putting random words into these chapters because the chapter numbers aren't quite funny anymore.I thought drummers were supposed to be crazy, and bassists were supposed to be quiet, and guitarists were supposed to kinda-somewhat-funny. Then I saw Blink-182, and the guitarists and bassists were crazy, and the drummers were quiet, and no one was somewhat-kinda-funny, as they were all drop-dead hilarious. The lesson of this story is, don't go stereo-typing Mr. Barker or he will shout YOUR MOM jokes at you, become immortal, and finally get hit with an ice cream truck.
Lil' Wayne sucks. I was reading the October issue of AP magazine w/ Trav on it, and some retard at school glanced at the cover and he's like, "IS THAT LIL' WAYNE?"
I almost punched him in the face.