Status: Complete
The Randomest Collection of Stories about Pretty Much Anything You Can Create a Story About
Chapter Heart's All Gone (Yeah Your Heart's All Gone)
The Blendon Bulldogs 7th grade football team supposedly went 7-0-0 to end their season...the first undefeated 7th grade football season since 1994. Does something smell fishy? I think it does. Join me, Mark Allan Hoppus, as I try to figure out WTF REALLY happened at last night's game, and also why the 8th grade team SUCKS SO MUCH.
* * *
It was a warm October day, and I, detective Mark Hoppus, and partner in cirme...ok, so maybe I don't have a partner in crime. MAYBE because I turned down all 3920704209 fan girls for Emma, people hate me now. Except for a small group of people who are cool.
ANYWAY...I, detective Mark Hoppus, was sitting in the science room next to an awesome person named Summer (People who are in my science class: What happened to Megan? Me: SHE DIED.) and we were watching Mr. Barber drone on and on and on about some gay-ass jellyfish. No one exceptionally cared about the jellyfish. Except for this kid Christian. But no one cared for him either.
Suddenly, Silas, this kid who sits in front of me and my BFF Summer, turned around. "Your band sucks," he informed me.
I got annoyed. "YOUR MOM sucks my - "
"Mark, shut it." I was interrupted by Summer covering my mouth with her hand. "That's not a nice thing to say."
Silas smirked at me. "And you," said Summer, turning to him now. "Shut up. That's rude."
"Is there a problem back there, girls and Mark Hoppus?" asked Mr. Barber from the front of the room (he always calls Silas a girl. I'm sorry, it had to be put in here).
"No."
"Good. Let's continue talking about the jellyfish reproductive system."
Everyone started snickering. "Shut up, you buttonholes!" said Mr. Barber (buttonholes = Mark Hoppus Twitter inside joke).
And so we learned about the jellyfish reproductive system.
TO BE CONTINUED....
* * *
It was a warm October day, and I, detective Mark Hoppus, and partner in cirme...ok, so maybe I don't have a partner in crime. MAYBE because I turned down all 3920704209 fan girls for Emma, people hate me now. Except for a small group of people who are cool.
ANYWAY...I, detective Mark Hoppus, was sitting in the science room next to an awesome person named Summer (People who are in my science class: What happened to Megan? Me: SHE DIED.) and we were watching Mr. Barber drone on and on and on about some gay-ass jellyfish. No one exceptionally cared about the jellyfish. Except for this kid Christian. But no one cared for him either.
Suddenly, Silas, this kid who sits in front of me and my BFF Summer, turned around. "Your band sucks," he informed me.
I got annoyed. "YOUR MOM sucks my - "
"Mark, shut it." I was interrupted by Summer covering my mouth with her hand. "That's not a nice thing to say."
Silas smirked at me. "And you," said Summer, turning to him now. "Shut up. That's rude."
"Is there a problem back there, girls and Mark Hoppus?" asked Mr. Barber from the front of the room (he always calls Silas a girl. I'm sorry, it had to be put in here).
"No."
"Good. Let's continue talking about the jellyfish reproductive system."
Everyone started snickering. "Shut up, you buttonholes!" said Mr. Barber (buttonholes = Mark Hoppus Twitter inside joke).
And so we learned about the jellyfish reproductive system.
TO BE CONTINUED....
♠ ♠ ♠
Once again...you're supposed to be confused.My class's football team went 7-0-0. The 8th grade football team went 0-7-0. I know. So sad.
I could really care less about the football team. In fact, I'd want everyone but two people on the 7th grade football team to DIE, and everyone on the 8th grade team to DIE.
So be prepared for some crazy shizz to go down.